My son is an amazing kid and now that he is a toddler, it's really getting fun. He is truly a sweet, wonderful boy.
I finally lost all my baby weight and now weigh less than I did when I got pregnant. I finally feel comfortable in my skin again. While I had a great pregnancy, I didn't enjoy it at all. My body felt foreign to me.
We have a great routine going, and it's working out so well balancing work/family. Finances are good. My husband and I each get time away for ourselves, on fact, my DH is wrapping up a ten day trip with his brother in Turkey.
It's not that hard now to get a sitter if we need one, grandparents or whatever because its one kid and he's so sweet.
Now my problem... To have another one or not? My mind is flooded with the what ifs.
What if because we are "older" parents in our late 30s, if the 2nd child ends up with a disability, and needs constant care? My job will be gone which financially would nearly ruin us. We wouldn't be able to provide the life we want for our son, and we would be saddling him with the responsibility if caring for this disabled sibling after we die. Not really fair is it?
I worry about multiples too. I can handle one more kid, but two more? Yikes!
Basically, I am content with our lives as they are now. But then I worry I'm not giving my son a sibling to grow up with, and I feel guilty... On the flip side, giving him a sibling is no guarantee they will get along either...
I don't know what to do. My DH is on the same page as me... Not sure what to do. He has been reading studies about how older Dads are contributing a lot of bad things happening to babies genetically, and it's freaking him out.
Of course there is all the pressure from others who have multiple kids who tell me that only having one is selfish...
Sigh... I just don't know what to do. Having another just to give my son a sister or brother doesn't seem like a good enough reason.
The idea of doing all of it again, pregnancy, breast feeding, no sleep... Now? Ugh.
I asked to wait until summer is over before we do anything because I just want to enjoy this with my son, now that he can do so much... I feel in my gut that I don't want anymore, but then I feel so guilty. I know if I did get pregnant, I would feel differently... I would love that baby to pieces like my son...
I just don't know what to do.