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Hubby says no to pants on girls

Posted by on May. 18, 2013 at 7:57 PM
  • 84 Replies

Ok I'm in a bit of a predicament. Now our history is that we have been very religious and I had always worn skirts or dresses to the ankle as did our two girls. Two years ago I pretty much had a breakdown and nearly left him. I completely changed me. Or rather I found me. Now I wear pants and shorts and he accepts it. Though at first he hated it and called me a rebellious person and had no respect whatsoever for me. Now, he accepts my clothing and it even is attractive to him but he is so severly set on our girls never wearing pants that it is very difficult for me. My oldest girl is nine and the younger is 4 and neither understands why I can and they can't. My 9 year old sometimes cries because she isn't allowed to be like me. I have talked to him multiple times about it and he will not budge. I have even been denied giving our oldest daughter a pair of gaucho like pants (looks alot like a skirt when on) for Christmas that I had bought her. On the other hand, my girls just look so....rough....because there clothes are kinda worn and they don't fit right and they would just look so cute in all those girls pants. He says he wants them to be special and not like all the other girls out there. I think that is absurd! They will always be specail! They are OUR girls and nothing will ever change that.

Not really sure what to do about this, but this is just one drop in a bucket of filthy marriage water I am trying to wade through. I am really trying very hard to make this work but there is still so much to get through.

by on May. 18, 2013 at 7:57 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mommadana
by on May. 18, 2013 at 7:59 PM
May I ask which denomination you follow? It may help me to know so I can hopefully give advice
ihave1
by on May. 18, 2013 at 8:01 PM

That is a good question... was wondering that myself.   

Quoting mommadana:

May I ask which denomination you follow? It may help me to know so I can hopefully give advice


alexsmomaubrys2
by Bronze Member on May. 18, 2013 at 8:01 PM
5 moms liked this

I think that it should be left up to the girls what they want to wear. If you can wear pants so should they. Put your foot down and stand up for your daughters.

nymomma3
by Member on May. 18, 2013 at 8:03 PM

Well we have mostly followed the Baptist I guess, but really its more of a thing all its own with the pants because I know plenty of Baptist that wear pants. Our church even is fine with it. In the last couple years though, we aren't as strong with church or standards as we used to be, so I don't understand why he still stands on this so adamantly.

nymomma3
by Member on May. 18, 2013 at 8:06 PM

There has just been so much stuff we have had to work through the last two years I am trying to put some space between issues for both our sakes. This is a big issue for us both and its gonna be a real pain in the butt trying to get an agreement to. He says he's already done his part letting me wear them (I hate when he says he "lets" me do something. Like he owns me) and that I shouldn't push him with the girls.

Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:

I think that it should be left up to the girls what they want to wear. If you can wear pants so should they. Put your foot down and stand up for your daughters.


SouthernMamaof1
by Member on May. 18, 2013 at 8:12 PM
6 moms liked this

 It's your daughter too.  Why does he have the final say.  Put a pair of pants on your kid and tell him if he doesn't like it to leave. 

nymomma3
by Member on May. 18, 2013 at 8:16 PM

Last time I put a pair of pants on her, when I took her to Ky with me, he came to Ky and saw her in them and took her without telling me where they were going. When he came back with her she was in a too big, ugly dress from goodwill and she told me that he had given her a lecture on why she wasn't suppose to wear pants and I was wrong and she was crying. She said he threw the two pair of pants I bought her in the garbage. I don't want her to be hurt in this way again.

irritablekat
by on May. 18, 2013 at 8:20 PM
7 moms liked this

He's a controlling bully. I would reccomend counselling but not sure he would accept it. Good luck and remember that emotional abuse is still abuse.

 

alexsmomaubrys2
by Bronze Member on May. 18, 2013 at 8:22 PM
3 moms liked this

That is exactly the point. You are teaching your daughters that it is okay to let a man control them. To tell them how to dress and act. He may be their father but they are the ones that are in complete control over their bodies, they NEED to know and understand that.

Quoting nymomma3:

There has just been so much stuff we have had to work through the last two years I am trying to put some space between issues for both our sakes. This is a big issue for us both and its gonna be a real pain in the butt trying to get an agreement to. He says he's already done his part letting me wear them (I hate when he says he "lets" me do something. Like he owns me) and that I shouldn't push him with the girls.

Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:

I think that it should be left up to the girls what they want to wear. If you can wear pants so should they. Put your foot down and stand up for your daughters.



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alexsmomaubrys2
by Bronze Member on May. 18, 2013 at 8:23 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting nymomma3:

Last time I put a pair of pants on her, when I took her to Ky with me, he came to Ky and saw her in them and took her without telling me where they were going. When he came back with her she was in a too big, ugly dress from goodwill and she told me that he had given her a lecture on why she wasn't suppose to wear pants and I was wrong and she was crying. She said he threw the two pair of pants I bought her in the garbage. I don't want her to be hurt in this way again.

He sounds abusive.

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