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How do you make friends the older you get?

Posted by on May. 25, 2013 at 12:27 AM
  • 26 Replies
I had my son when I was 19 years old. After I had a kid and got married I kind of lost what few friends I did have. I wasn't into the party scene no more. Now I am 31, my son is 12 and I find myself still alone friend wise. It seems the older you are the harder it is to make friends. Right now I feel so alone I would settle for an acquaintance that I talk to frequently, lol. I should also mention that we just moved to a new place. I'm at a loss of how to meet new people. Seems pathetic, I know. How do you make friends? What would be a good starting place? Any other advice?
by on May. 25, 2013 at 12:27 AM
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by Member on May. 25, 2013 at 12:28 AM
Get involved with things at the school. That's how I make friends. Or the parents of my kids friends
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by on May. 25, 2013 at 12:33 AM
I've lost friends over the years due to just getting older and not wanting to go out and party and basically growling up. I had my daughter at 33 so having a kid wasn't the cause, I guess I outgrew certain people and didnt tolerate nonsense anymore so my circle of friends got smaller. I suffer from anxiety so its hard for me to make new friends. I don't like being in social settings. But I force myself to do it because I don't want to end up a hermit. There may be online forums where you can meet other moms in your area. Maybe you can get to know some of your sons friends parents?
by Ruby Member on May. 25, 2013 at 1:17 AM

For me, I'm still really good friends with one of my high school friends. My SIL is my other best friend (besides my husband). Other than that DH and I have found a whole network of friends with all the sports our kids are involved in. We first started flag football when our son was 3. He's 10 now and plays 4 or 5 sports a year, mostly with the same group of kids. We've gotten to know those parents on totally different levels and ended up taking a family vacation with one of those families. 

Just tonight while at the ball park (DH is an umpire and DD had a game) my SIL was commenting on all the people we knew and seemed to be friends with. It also helps me that my husband is super friendly and gets along with just about anyone. He makes friends a lot easier than I do. 

by on May. 25, 2013 at 7:53 AM
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I was just thinking about this the other night! I wish I had a good, solid core of friends to hang out with but as we've gotten older (my DH and I were the 'first' in the group to get married, have kids, buy a house, etc) so we're watching all our friends starting to do this from afar. I feel we just grew apart - I couldn't drop everything and "swing by" the bar at 9 pm - my kids were in bed! So my friends stopped calling.....

I've tried the other parents at sporting events but no one really clicked. I tried church, again, no real connections. It is so hard! I've made most of my friends now through work but usually DH doesn't like them. It is SO HARD to find a 'couple' to be friends with! So I'm just sympathizing :)

by Shauna on May. 25, 2013 at 8:16 AM

Mostly through work and my kids school/sports activities.

by on May. 25, 2013 at 8:19 AM

I made good close friends when I worked, but I've made even more at my gym.  It just takes time.  When I moved here 10 years ago I didn't know anyone but my husband.  You'll get there! :)

by on May. 25, 2013 at 9:40 AM

Im new where I am to with zero friends..Before I moved I was involved with the PTA at my kids school,I couldnt always go because of my work schedule but I tried to go to at least 1 meeting every few months. I made a few friends through there and the rest were through work usually.

by on May. 25, 2013 at 9:44 AM
Yea mostly thru my kids friends. I dont have a solid circle either since we were the first to have babies and get married. Now that our friends r havin kids we r wanting to get out more. We r close with our neighbors who have kids close in age to ours. Its hard to meet people and if they dont have similar aged kids its kinda weird too. Im running into more people my age with older kids (almost teenagers) and thats just surreal to me lol. Its just hard.
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by on May. 25, 2013 at 10:23 AM
Hi! I am practically in the same situation as you. Im 31, have a 2 year old, moved to a new town! I've also been wondering how to go about meeting new friends.. Some suggestions I've learned is to find local play groups with other moms, check out your community rec center for free things to do or sign up for classes that interest you. I am into crafting so I've been trying to find craft groups I can join and "mommy & me" stuff too! It's not easy to establish new friends, It does seem harder to meet friends the older we get.. :(
by on May. 25, 2013 at 10:46 AM

I don't know if this will be helpful in the way of ADVICE, but maybe it will make you laugh and feel better about your situation. I totally wrote about this EXACT dilemma when I moved to my current city and started my blog. I have two posts you could read but the one posted is probably the better of the two. (I will say, in the way of success, I did eventually meet some cool stay at home moms. Hah.)

How to Make Friends (Part 2)

Claire Wait

My blog:

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