Do you punish even if the action were for the right thing.
So with the rain yesterday I took my kids to the library to get some books and look for craft ideas for next week. Well I left the older kids in they section and took the two 2yrs old to the toddler room. We were playing with the puppets when my 9yr Joni cames running in and to tell me that my 12yr dd is hurt and my 10yr ds is fighting with other kids.
I grab the girls and follow Joni to the room, lucky the librarian was in trying to break it up my son was hold his nose and Alexia was in the corner hold her wrist. The other kids were trying to make a run for it but the librarian and I got them to sit down.
At first no one would talk then but the librarian said either I call your parents or the police?? Then my 9yr ds (Jarred) said that those boys were making funny of them about having no parents and calling them freaks and other bad things. Jarred said they were trying not to argue back about it, but then the boys started gang up on Alexia following her around and pinning her between them. She try to move away but couldn't some how she was push over a shelf of books, that's where my son Jon jump in and punches were throw and he got his bleeding nose and the other boy fat lip and the other one has a black eye. The other boys didn't say anything but what they parent numbers were. The librarian asked me what I want to do I said I wait for they parents. The parents came and try to make their kids apologize but they said nothing one mom(who I knew from PTO) told me I could call the police, the librarian said that everyone was suspended from the there for 30 days and then after only allow in with a parent.
Got everyone in the Durango and head to our dr office, lucky the dr office wasn't busy and they took us right away. They did a X-ray of Alexia hand and it is just a sprain. Jon nose was done bleeding but was swelling.
Now we live in a small town and most people know that 4 of our kids are my hubby's cousin kids that she left with us over a yr and half ago. We have custody of them and for the most part the kids have call us by our first names but since we have two 2yrs old only week apart in age they more like twin (autumn is our daugther and Summer is our cousin) since they learn to speak one will say something and the other will replete it.
After last Xmas Summer started call us mommy and daddy at first we didn't know what to do, I asked the old kids therapist about it she said that it was normal, and we could let it go or teach her our names, but then the other 2yr old might call by our names too. So we had a family meeting with the kids and close family and friends. We asked the kids what they thought and they were happy with it. Family and friends understood and supported the idea.
Sorry this so long but that's where the fight came from the other boys were saying they were unwanted and were nothing. I'm more upset with that then the fighting and I know fighting bad, but words cut deeper. So we still need to talk about everything today. Do I punish or let it slide??
again so so sorry this long post (more like a vent)