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Advice on husband and children/childcare

Posted by on Jun. 23, 2013 at 3:24 PM
  • 36 Replies

Don't want to be long but wanted to see what others would say and if I have a right to very mad at my husband (and I am the calm type). Just a little background my husband does not work I work full time we now have full time childcare because he was not really watching the kids or keeping them safe. Was bed or watching movies etc. and this went on for quite awhile and we have had part-time help and 1 in preschool and now have full time help and he never watches them when I work and really does not spend any time with them even when I am home. never does anything with the family I take them everywhere and do all the fun things with them along. Anyway cargiver said she had a emergency last night and could not watch them so I was put in a hard place and told my husband he would have to watch them. He wined and complained and said the caregiver was lying and did not want to watch them and I have no reason to know that she laying. anyway this is my 4 hour day so it's a short day and he said well I will "watch" them but just stay in bed and listen if they are ok and our older one can make breakfast etc. My kids are 3 and almost 5 by the way. I told him this was not acceptable but he was saying that it was to much then he thought about the money I was paying cargiver and said were not going to pay them right if they don't work and I said yes we will decrease pay by 1 day. Anyway long story short he said if I gave him the money he would get out of bed and watch them this made me angry and I told him that I should not have to pay him to watch his own kids and extra money should go for bills or the family but he stuck fast so said I would give him the money but felt this was very wrong he was going this.

by on Jun. 23, 2013 at 3:24 PM
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by on Jun. 23, 2013 at 3:35 PM
7 moms liked this

Oh HELL NO! It is NOT babysitting when they are your own kids. He needs to get off his lazy ass and watch those babies. My 5 year old is at the river fishing with his dad right now. They go places without me all the time. Your man is just being a jackass and needs to grow up! If he prefers that they are in daycare while you are working rather than with him then he needs to find a job, otherwise watching the kids and being a SAHD IS his job!

by on Jun. 23, 2013 at 3:35 PM
1 mom liked this

WTF! I would have slapped DF if he said something like that to me! I don't pay my DF to watch my boys and they are from previous relationships. Your husband is WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY out of line. 

I would tell his lazy ass to get the hell out of the bed and take care of our kids or else his ass wouldn't have a bed to sleep in anymore. 

Honey it sounds like you're a married woman who is a single mother. You've been doing it solo for so long you might as well keep doing it. That shit would NOT fly with me.

by Bronze Member on Jun. 23, 2013 at 3:44 PM

 I would not put up with that.I would give my dh an ultimatum if her EVER did that crap:either watch HIS kids or get out.Why won't he get out of bed?Is something medically wrong with him?

by on Jun. 23, 2013 at 3:58 PM
2 moms liked this

 WTF! bad

This is really, really bad. Why are you still with him again? He must be really good in the sack. I can not fathom why you would possibly keep him around at all. Your kids are watching and learning from this behavior. Which by the way is not acceptable. Ditch him you can do much better on your own.

by on Jun. 23, 2013 at 4:13 PM
4 moms liked this
Your husband needs to get a job or watch his children. Is he disabled or just lazy?

Paying your hard earned money for daycare while he sits in bed.. That is completely unacceptable.

Not to sound mean but He needs to man up or you need to divorce the loser.
It may be time to step back and evaluate your relationship with him. What exactly is he bringing to the table?
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by Gold Member on Jun. 23, 2013 at 4:26 PM

It's not babysitting when it comes to your own kids, it's parenting.  When hubby and I first got together, I took my middle son and his daughter to daycare everyday.  Finally, one day, I said that he could at least watch his daughter since he was off on Tuesdays and Thursdays since he was her father.  He understood and watched both children.

family in the van   Mom of four

by on Jun. 23, 2013 at 4:28 PM
1 mom liked this

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!  WHAT?  How could he even think that was ok??  He sounds depressed, TBH.  I would get him an appointment with a doctor.  And if he's NOT depressed...  IDK... I would SERIOUSLY rethink my relationship with him.

by on Jun. 23, 2013 at 11:03 PM
1 mom liked this

I do not understand when I read or hear situations like this that the husband or father of the children refuse to help when it comes to child-rearing. If the situation was reversed, where the mother was acting like this, it would be utterly shameful. O.P., you are right to be angry. He helped contributed to making the children, so he should help out. Jackirwal10 mentioned that he might be depressed. If so, he needs treatment right away. If not, something needs to be done. What that is, I do not know because I am not in your situation and what works for one, may not work for someone else.

I wish you the best of luck.

by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 12:02 AM
Is he a drug addict?
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by Bronze Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 12:15 AM

I would flip my lid in your shoes. No man should ever have to be paid to care for his own child. Let alone have to pay for daycare while his but his home all day. Nope not under my roof. 

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