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Now I'm the b****

Posted by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 4:18 PM
  • 4 Replies

OK - so my Mom let my brother and his family move into our family home about a year ago - Mom sells it and told him that he needs to find a place to go (with ample warning) - closing is this Wednesday but needed to be out by yesterday. Brother and SIL waited until the last minute to find a place. They can't afford to rent a UHaul or anything so ask me to borrow my truck - sure - he was there for me when I needed to get from NY back home 4 years ago (to which I have bent over backwards for him and his family since because he took 3 days away from his family). He uses it Friday around 6ish and texts me around 11pm asking if he could keep it over night and again Saturday - sure. I borrow his MIL's beat up POS with no insurance so I'm using it only to get back and forth to work.

I text him Saturday at 3:30 asking when he'd be done (said he would be using it for the furniture and large items) and got a text after 4 saying another 2-3 hours. I told SIL earlier that day that we wanted to do things late afternoon/early evening and wanted my truck because I didn't want to use her Moms car. So I texted him saying 6 would be better - no response. At 6:30 I texted him and asked if where he wanted me to meet him to exchange vehicles. So I ended up meeting him at his new place about a half hour later. They showed me around their new place and thanked me for letting them use the truck, said he put a bit of gas in it (less than a quarter tank) and that he needed it again on Sunday. I reminded him again that he couldn't use it because Sunday is SO and I'd only day off together and that we had already made plans. He said he had 2 loads left and it would really help. I told him that it all depended on how and when things happened with us, but I could't promise anything, that I would call him and let him know.

I get to work today and he had our delivery van (we have a family business), so I called and told him that we needed it seeing as it was nearing 10 and we had a lot of deliveries for the day that were timed and couldn't use Mom's vehicle for them. He gets here and asks for my truck again, gives no time or anything as to when he'd be done. I texted him around 2:30 asking when he thought he'd be done. He says "1-2hr last stuff now maybe 2 more loads, can you take delivery van?" I was pissed. How can you have 2 loads left on Saturday and have my truck 4 1.2 hours today and still need it for another 1-2 hrs?! Told him no, that I was probably getting off within the next 30-45 minutes because we were slow. He texted back "Well OK, going to load big shit, call when done, can't be there by 3, loading now." We got another order in and our driver was 30 minutes away and wouldn't be back in time, so I took my Mom's car to do it. Texted him and said never mind.

Of course I'm a bit pissed and I rant to my designer about it and Mom comes out yelling at me saying it was raining all weekend and of course he wouldn't be done. Well, the times I was out (in the exact same area) it didn't rain until late in the evening, having plenty of time to move things during the day (especially since they were using my truck, their blazer, our shop van and a friends car). She was going on and on about how mean I was being. To which that pissed me off even more. After she was done and retreated back to her office my designer was laughing saying "She knows hun, she just hates hearing people talk bad about him when she has no reason to be mad at him. She's just sticking up for him is all, let it go, you know how she is." It's true and I know how she is. This brother is her "golden child", always has and always will. He can do no wrong and everyone owes him something for nothing.

So here I am waiting for him to get back with my truck so that I can pick my DD up from daycare and get the things done that I need to. *sigh*

by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 4:18 PM
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Replies (1-4):
by Ruby Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 5:15 PM

Well that sucks. Raining or not when you are inconveniencing someone else you do what you gotta do. 

by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 5:29 PM

It sounds like your brother is being very inconsiderate and taking advantage of your generosity.  I don't know what your relationship with him is like, but if he's not going to be responsible and return your truck to you when you need it, it would make sense to tell him that he isn't welcome to borrow it any more.

An aside...having moved many times always takes more time and trips and effort than you plan on to get moved.  Try to give him a break, while remembering next time that you do not want to be the person he turns to in this sort of situation. 

by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 6:06 PM

I hate bending over backwards for someone, and then being stomped on because I didn't bendover backwards enough.

by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 6:21 PM

Hugs to you..I have this with my sister all the good deed goes unpunished!

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