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On my own!!!

Posted by on Jul. 4, 2013 at 4:46 PM
  • 7 Replies
Hi there, im a truckers wife, with 2 daughters. My dh works very hard he is away 5 nights a week and does 15 hour days. I know that he is doing it all for us and so we can move to canada, its still really lonely. When the kids go to bed its really unbearable, my dh keeps asking if im ok but I just say that im fine so he doesnt think that hes upsetting me. I can talk to him whenever I want but maybe its just not enough, will I get used to it? He said he would get a different job where hes home every night if I asked him to.....do I ask?
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by on Jul. 4, 2013 at 4:46 PM
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Replies (1-7):
Mommy_With_Hope
by on Jul. 4, 2013 at 6:49 PM

I can speak as the "ex-wife" of an OTR driver! It never got earier for me personally. You may though. It was hard for me to be married and feeling like a single parent. Also, him being away all week and still not making ends meet most of the time. If he has a good company and the ends justify the means, then give it a chance. If you are not sure if it is something you can live with for the duration you may want to be honest about how you are feeling up front, so that when the day comes that you grow tired its too late. Its unfair to you and the kids and also to him if no one is truly happy. I wish you the best. Its not the same for everyone, so I pray that all ends well for your family :) 

Krysden
by Member on Jul. 4, 2013 at 11:21 PM

If you know in your heart that there is no way this can work for you then it's ok to let him know that.   How long have y'all been doing it like this?  Is it a new thing or have you had enough time to see if you can adjust?    I know you said he would get a different job if you asked him.  Does he already know of one that would definitely hire him?     You need to talk to him.  Let him know how you feel and why.   If you don't talk to him about it, those feelings will build and then have the potential to turn into bad things like anger & resentment.    If this is a relatively new thing, maybe the two of you could decide on a trial run.  Give it a month, or two, or three... how ever long works for you and then re-evaluate the situation.  If it's still not working then maybe he could look for something else.   At the very least, it sounds like this is a means to an end (move to canada) rather than a permanent thing.   Knowing that can help too. 

KendallsMommee
by Chrissy on Jul. 5, 2013 at 12:32 AM
I personally couldn't image living like that.

But I'm a big wuss.

I wish you luck.
BeautifulMomof1
by Chocoholic Beauty on Jul. 5, 2013 at 3:15 AM
I think you should be honest, first with yourself . . don't deny your feelings . . how you feel is how you feel . . then be honest with him . . telling him you're ok if you're not could cause problems later on . .
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mudwrap
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 3:16 AM
You get used to it eventually. Go out once in a while and have a night out.
Tammywhynot
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 3:36 AM
Hes been a truck driver for 3 and half years but its only been 3 weeks where hes been away all week, maybe im not giving it a fair go. He doesnt like it either ge misses me and the girls but its one of the best paid jobs in britain. But no where near as good as canada. The same job in canada is $10,000 a year more than we get now. I think I can cope with it as long as its not forever and he definatley does not want to miss out on the girls for long.


Quoting Krysden:

If you know in your heart that there is no way this can work for you
then it's ok to let him know that.   How long have y'all been doing it like this?  Is it a new thing or have you had enough time to see if you can adjust?    I know you said he would get a different job if you asked him.  Does he already know of one that would definitely hire him?     You need to talk to him.  Let him know how you feel and why.   If you don't talk to him about it, those feelings will build and then have the potential to turn into bad things like anger & resentment.    If this is a relatively new thing, maybe the two of you could decide on a trial run.  Give it a month, or two, or three... how ever long works for you and then re-evaluate the situation.  If it's still not working then maybe he could look for something else.   At the very least, it sounds like this is a means to an end (move to canada) rather than a permanent thing.   Knowing that can help too. 


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mumamy
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 6:56 AM

You do adjust if you let yourself and become a very independent person. Sending pm.

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