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Fairweather Friends

Posted by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 12:02 AM
  • 28 Replies

Just a vent here so bare with me!

We have less than 100 days before our wedding and several times I have asked the people in our wedding party to get together, friends get together, etc and NO one will so much as answer invites, nor invite us anywhere but they post pictures of them all hanging out on days where DF and I have asked to come hang out, go to a park together and they will tell us "Oh we can't, no sitter" or "I'm not feeling all that great!" 

FUCK don't lie to me or DF. Just tell us you don't want to fuckin' hang out with us. SIMPLE as that.... I have absolutely NO problem cutting my wedding list down since all we do is hang out with family anyways, I'll make it a strictly family affair!


This has nothing to do with the wedding... yes there is less than 100 days until the wedding, but this crap has been going on for the past year and a half since we moved into the apt. We used to live in a HOUSE where people were always coming over to every other weekend and visiting, etc. but when my mom lost the house that we were renting from and were forced to move into an apt no one would come to visit us or invite us anywhere. 

Follow my weight loss Journey.... I have a weightloss goal to hit 135-140lbs by Oct 2012....Can I do it by changing the weigh I eat, using Body By Vi, and exercising more? We shall see!!!! Follow me at MyFitnessPal

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by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 12:02 AM
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Replies (1-10):
VintageWife
by Silver Member on Jul. 5, 2013 at 12:15 AM
1 mom liked this
I would!

Why aren't you commenting on their pics and calling them out?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Luv.My.Kidz
by Bronze Member on Jul. 5, 2013 at 12:17 AM

I would... but it would just cause more issues. I just posted this as my status on FB:

Though I love spending time with my family... sometimes I would love to just hang out with friends also. It really saddens me when people don't invite Jason and I places but are quick to say "Well you all are so busy so much" How do you know when you don't call to ask or answer our invites? Guess it's time to start finding more friends that actually want to hang out and accept invites. I just feel like "friends" are avoiding us for some reason... whether it's because we don't smoke, drink as much or whatever... I don't care what the reason is... I'm just sick of people ignoring Jason and I! It may not bother him but it does me because these people are people who he considers friends.

Quoting VintageWife:

I would!

Why aren't you commenting on their pics and calling them out?


Follow my weight loss Journey.... I have a weightloss goal to hit 135-140lbs by Oct 2012....Can I do it by changing the weigh I eat, using Body By Vi, and exercising more? We shall see!!!! Follow me at MyFitnessPal

Wedding Countdown Ticker

Luv.My.Kidz
by Bronze Member on Jul. 5, 2013 at 12:35 AM

BUMP!

KendallsMommee
by Chrissy on Jul. 5, 2013 at 12:51 AM
1 mom liked this
I honestly wouldn't have posted that as my status, even though I can understand your frustration. It sounds needy and desperate. Especially throwing your DF in the middle when he obviously doesn't care either way.

Move on if it bothers you that much.

I'd just do a family wedding if I were you and let it go.
HIJKLM
by Bronze Member on Jul. 5, 2013 at 12:52 AM
Awe, I'm sorry... Congrats on the wedding though!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Knightquester
by Silver Member on Jul. 5, 2013 at 1:39 AM
1 mom liked this

Wow.... to be honest I know a lot of friends that have gotten married over the years that I've been fortunate to be able to attend their wedding but not much else.  None of them are so needy as to demand us to hang out with them prior to their wedding.  We don't get to hang out very often, for some of them it's a few days out of the whole year, but when we do we have a blast and pick up from where we left off.  I know they have lives and can get busy, and they know I do.

My best friend and I live two states apart and we've talked about how amazing it is we're able to keep our friendship going even though we live so far apart.  What we've come to the conclusion of is that it's not quantity, it's the quality of time we have together when we are together.

It could be your friends are busy with families of their own, or they could be spur of the moment type people that just forget or don't want to call people up last minute to invite.  Regardless if you're really hurt and you feel they are doing all these things to exclude you out of meanness and spite, then they aren't your friends, they are your acquaintances.

If you think they are the people that would be there for you when you really need them, and you can accept that you might not be the center of their world and they accept not being the center of yours, then you guys are friends.  Maybe step back, take a breather and assess what friendship is to you, and see if they meet up to your standards.  I will say this much though, if your standards are too high, then it will be hard for anybody to meet them.

MixedCooke
by Silver Member on Jul. 5, 2013 at 2:32 AM

Bridezilla-ish in my opinion and per above that Facebook status is TMI really.  Yes you are getting married but it doesnt mean the world revolves around you or should.  You are being too needy.

Luv.My.Kidz
by Bronze Member on Jul. 5, 2013 at 9:54 AM

LOL it has NOTHING to do with the wedding. Honestly... it has to do with the fact that when we had a HOUSE they all partied with us, came over every weekend but now that we moved into an apt (my mom lost the house that we were living in and renting from) no one comes over. Has nothing to do with the wedding at all. 

Quoting MixedCooke:

Bridezilla-ish in my opinion and per above that Facebook status is TMI really.  Yes you are getting married but it doesnt mean the world revolves around you or should.  You are being too needy.


Follow my weight loss Journey.... I have a weightloss goal to hit 135-140lbs by Oct 2012....Can I do it by changing the weigh I eat, using Body By Vi, and exercising more? We shall see!!!! Follow me at MyFitnessPal

Wedding Countdown Ticker

Luv.My.Kidz
by Bronze Member on Jul. 5, 2013 at 10:04 AM

I'm not demanding people to hang out with us before our wedding... DF and I had a birthday party for our sons, only family showed up... we invited friends, none showed up, not a single one, they gave us excuses then posted pictures all over FB of them drinking and smoking and shit.... I got pissed and posted and said "Oh I see how that's more important than the boys birthday, thought you had to work?" They removed the pictures or blocked me... fuck it I don't care... don't lie to me that pisses me off.. my kids were hurt! 

These are people who are IN the wedding. 1/2 of them don't know eachother and we we would like to get them together a couple times before the Bachelor & Bachelorette parties to at least get to know eachother, etc. and just have fun. Just have fun. That's it. Df's best man is being the most fuckin' difficult because he rather be out getting high and drink and it's pissing me off and DF is like "Hey, that's my lil' brother, I don't care he's going to be my best man no matter what!" and I respect it but he hasn't even planned the bachelor party, DF's cousin and MY cousin has... I'm just through with it! 

Quoting Knightquester:

Wow.... to be honest I know a lot of friends that have gotten married over the years that I've been fortunate to be able to attend their wedding but not much else.  None of them are so needy as to demand us to hang out with them prior to their wedding.  We don't get to hang out very often, for some of them it's a few days out of the whole year, but when we do we have a blast and pick up from where we left off.  I know they have lives and can get busy, and they know I do.

My best friend and I live two states apart and we've talked about how amazing it is we're able to keep our friendship going even though we live so far apart.  What we've come to the conclusion of is that it's not quantity, it's the quality of time we have together when we are together.

It could be your friends are busy with families of their own, or they could be spur of the moment type people that just forget or don't want to call people up last minute to invite.  Regardless if you're really hurt and you feel they are doing all these things to exclude you out of meanness and spite, then they aren't your friends, they are your acquaintances.

If you think they are the people that would be there for you when you really need them, and you can accept that you might not be the center of their world and they accept not being the center of yours, then you guys are friends.  Maybe step back, take a breather and assess what friendship is to you, and see if they meet up to your standards.  I will say this much though, if your standards are too high, then it will be hard for anybody to meet them.


Follow my weight loss Journey.... I have a weightloss goal to hit 135-140lbs by Oct 2012....Can I do it by changing the weigh I eat, using Body By Vi, and exercising more? We shall see!!!! Follow me at MyFitnessPal

Wedding Countdown Ticker

LilliesValley
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 10:24 AM
1 mom liked this

I'd cut them too. If they can only be your friends when times are good then they're not really friends.

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