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Would you let your child go?

Posted by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 2:53 PM
  • 43 Replies
I need a little help settling this dilemma I have going in my head. We were at my MIL for a BBQ yesterday. My 5 yr old son slipped outside and jumped into her pool. He can't swim and nearly drown. My 13 yr old jumped in and rescued him. I have been so sickened by the thought of nearly losing my son. My MIL has had a date for next week planned to take my 5 yr. over night since last month. FYI, she only takes him once a year, so this is it. I don't want him to go. Would you send him? Am I just being crazy? I know it would break both of their hearts if I said no. HELP!!!
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 2:53 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mrs.hartman12
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 2:55 PM
1 mom liked this

I am crazy paranoid about pools, my cousin drowned at age two. It was a case of everyone thought someone else was watching the baby and I bet thats what happened with your son. Since he is one on one, maybe talk to her about your fear and get clear rules layed out regarding the pool. 

musicNcaffeine
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 2:56 PM
2 moms liked this

I wouldn't say no. It's not her fault. I would talk to your son about the pool. And let her know that under no condition is he to get in that pool. Maybe a different lock for her back door. And teach him to swim...

HIJKLM
by Bronze Member on Jul. 5, 2013 at 2:58 PM
4 moms liked this
Are you blaming MIL for DS jumping in... You were there too... Are you blaming yourself too?
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snowangel1979
by Bronze Member on Jul. 5, 2013 at 2:58 PM
1 mom liked this
At 5 he should be old enough to know to stay away from water. Was he punished?

IDK I would definitely be doing some thinking and talking with him. If you feel he didn't learn his lesson to stay away from the water, don't let him go.
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conniejo75
by Bronze Member on Jul. 5, 2013 at 3:03 PM
3 moms liked this
This.
It wasn't her fault... it was the adults all assuming someone else was watching. Thank goodness the 13 yr old was watching. I would say at 5, your son needs swimming lessons ASAP! Also he is old enough to know the rules. Hopefully the incident scared him enough to know it's serious.


Quoting musicNcaffeine:

I wouldn't say no. It's not her fault. I would talk to your son about the pool. And let her know that under no condition is he to get in that pool. Maybe a different lock for her back door. And teach him to swim...


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mumsy2three
by Shauna on Jul. 5, 2013 at 4:29 PM

I agree with these ladies. sign him up for swimming lessons.

Quoting conniejo75:

This.
It wasn't her fault... it was the adults all assuming someone else was watching. Thank goodness the 13 yr old was watching. I would say at 5, your son needs swimming lessons ASAP! Also he is old enough to know the rules. Hopefully the incident scared him enough to know it's serious.


Quoting musicNcaffeine:

I wouldn't say no. It's not her fault. I would talk to your son about the pool. And let her know that under no condition is he to get in that pool. Maybe a different lock for her back door. And teach him to swim...



LilliesValley
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 4:34 PM
1 mom liked this

So what are you questioning here? Her being able to watch him, her judgment in having the pool open? Not sure. Accidents do happen around pools, thank goodness your 13 yo reacted quickly. Obviously you and mil didn't jump in either but someone did. If she's never given you cause to be concerned I can't understand jumping to the conclusion that she wouldn't watch, protect and care for your son. Is there something more missing? I mean you were there to and didn't catch the situation before he fell in so are you now judging your parenting skills?

I'm realy not trying to be a bitch either fyi, more matter of fact. Bad situation, but YOU were there and it happened, so I would question my OWN judgment of the situation before I'd judge MIL unless MIL has acted irresponsible in the past.

LilliesValley
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 4:36 PM

 

My thoughts exactly. I'm not getting how mil was specifically to blame and should be questioned soley here. Unless there's more past history of her being irresponsible I don't see why he wouldn't go.

Quoting HIJKLM:

Are you blaming MIL for DS jumping in... You were there too... Are you blaming yourself too?


 

Dabberdoo
by Bronze Member on Jul. 5, 2013 at 4:40 PM
1 mom liked this

I would allow him to go.  Its not like MIL was being neglectful.  You were THERE and it still happened.  Possibly discuss with her any ways she is going to make sure it doesn't happen again?  But she did nothing wrong here.

HIJKLM
by Bronze Member on Jul. 5, 2013 at 4:43 PM
1 mom liked this
OP hasn't answered me... Idk if there is a reason she is holding MIL responsible or if she's just afraid to let DS around a pool.

Quoting LilliesValley:

 


My thoughts exactly. I'm not getting how mil was specifically to blame and should be questioned soley here. Unless there's more past history of her being irresponsible I don't see why he wouldn't go.


Quoting HIJKLM:

Are you blaming MIL for DS jumping in... You were there too... Are you blaming yourself too?



 

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