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Why are you mad?

Posted by on Jul. 6, 2013 at 7:36 PM
  • 33 Replies

I had a friend that I known since I was 11 years old. Our DD are only 5 weeks apart. Even though we live in different states we still manage to keep in touch and even take a few trips together a few years ago.

So early last year she was being evicted from her home. She knew that my house was deployed, finished nursing school new job and I had extra money. She asked me to help her since I consider her to be my best friend I agreed to loan her the money but she would have to pay me back with in six months. I gave her an date of payment. Once that date came and gone I offer to put her on a payment plan of 50 every two weeks. only got three payments. So I called her and ask her for the money she got mad at me. She told me that "I really didn't need it , so why am I calling about it?". I was able to help her stay in her home and this is how I am treated. Really two can play this game.

I knew that she was trying to by a new car and was going to trade in her current car. I places a lean on the car. She called my yelling telling me that she really to get a new car, She even had her mother call me to tell me I was the worse person in the world and what kind of friend.

Do you think I was wrong for putting the lean on her car?



Update:7/8

She called me trying to set up a payment arrangement again if I removed the lean. I told her once she paid the loan then I would remove the lean. The conversation didn't go will. She asked me "Why kind of friend am I that I would do that to her?" I told her  "The kind of friend that gave you 1800 to say in your house when no one else would or could." I asked her "What kind of friend would go on a $5000 vacation instead of paying a friend back?" she told me " What she does with her money is her business. If she wanted to go to the moon for a million dollars then she can do that." oh I was so mad I just hung up on her. What do you say to someone like that

by on Jul. 6, 2013 at 7:36 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Dabberdoo
by Bronze Member on Jul. 6, 2013 at 7:45 PM
Honestly, is not something I would have done but I'm not sure you were wrong. Someone owed me $600 once. I reduced their debt to $500 hoping they would pay. They didn't. I valued our relationship so I gave then a card and inside told them that I had completely forgiven the debt. Mind you, I really needed that money. They thanked me and about a year later handed me $600 in cash. Even if they hadn't paid me, I would have done the same thing all over again. Never lend money you can't afford to lose. Don't lend money to her again but I would just let it go. But that's me. I wouldn't blame you for pursuing it. You aren't wrong.
kidlover2
by Member on Jul. 6, 2013 at 7:46 PM
3 moms liked this
I think you were wrong for lending her money in the first place. When I "lend"money I think of it as a gift. I don't expect to see it again. If the person is honest and responsible they will pay me back. I usually just tell them to have it when they ask so they are aware there are no strings attached to it. Lending money loses friends. Giving your money helps you sleep at night and preserves friends. If you can't afford to give, you can't afford to lend.
VSBRivera
by on Jul. 6, 2013 at 8:05 PM

I wish I could have dropped the debt to $600 or even $500. But I gave her $1800. The thing that gets me is that she is having block parties and crazy birthday parties for her family. She went to Disney world for 11 day 3 months ago she said at the Animal Kingdom resort. I used to work there for two year so I know she paid over $5000. She could went for 11 days and stayed at the All Star resorts, paid me my money, got a new car and kept a friendship. but I guess I am asking for too much


Quoting Dabberdoo:

Honestly, is not something I would have done but I'm not sure you were wrong. Someone owed me $600 once. I reduced their debt to $500 hoping they would pay. They didn't. I valued our relationship so I gave then a card and inside told them that I had completely forgiven the debt. Mind you, I really needed that money. They thanked me and about a year later handed me $600 in cash. Even if they hadn't paid me, I would have done the same thing all over again. Never lend money you can't afford to lose. Don't lend money to her again but I would just let it go. But that's me. I wouldn't blame you for pursuing it. You aren't wrong.



Dabberdoo
by Bronze Member on Jul. 6, 2013 at 8:08 PM
You aren't asking to much. I don't think any less of you for what you did. I just wouldn't have been able to do it. She obviously has abused your generosity. I'm really sorry.

Quoting VSBRivera:

I wish I could have dropped the debt to $600 or even $500. But I gave her $1800. The thing that gets me is that she is having block parties and crazy birthday parties for her family. She went to Disney world for 11 day 3 months ago she said at the Animal Kingdom resort. I used to work there for two year so I know she paid over $5000. She could went for 11 days and stayed at the All Star resorts, paid me my money, got a new car and kept a friendship. but I guess I am asking for too much



Quoting Dabberdoo:

Honestly, is not something I would have done but I'm not sure you were wrong. Someone owed me $600 once. I reduced their debt to $500 hoping they would pay. They didn't. I valued our relationship so I gave then a card and inside told them that I had completely forgiven the debt. Mind you, I really needed that money. They thanked me and about a year later handed me $600 in cash. Even if they hadn't paid me, I would have done the same thing all over again. Never lend money you can't afford to lose. Don't lend money to her again but I would just let it go. But that's me. I wouldn't blame you for pursuing it. You aren't wrong.




Marimaru
by Bronze Member on Jul. 6, 2013 at 8:15 PM

If she calls you again, tell her it's not her place to decide whether or not you need the money.  She agreed to a payback date, and ignored it.  She agreed to a payment plan, and ignored that.  You did what you had to do.

It's not honestly something I would have thought to do, but I don't think you are wrong.

AllofFive19
by Bronze Member on Jul. 6, 2013 at 8:32 PM

I don't think you're wrong. If it were a smaller amount, I would let it go, but never loan her money again. At such a high amount, you did what you needed to do in order to ensure repayment of the money.

conniejo75
by Bronze Member on Jul. 6, 2013 at 8:35 PM
I don't loan money I can't afford to give.
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VSBRivera
by on Jul. 6, 2013 at 8:47 PM

I never said I could not afford to give her the money. It is the principle of it. If someone does something for you then be great fully. I would never treat anyone like that. My word is my everything. If I said I was going to do something then I should do it.

Quoting conniejo75:

I don't loan money I can't afford to give.



conniejo75
by Bronze Member on Jul. 6, 2013 at 9:06 PM
1 mom liked this
I never said you couldn't. My point is I never loan money. If I have it to give, I give it to help someone that needs it. If they pay it back, that's their choice. I never expect it.


Quoting VSBRivera:

I never said I could not afford to give her the money. It is the principle of it. If someone does something for you then be great fully. I would never treat anyone like that. My word is my everything. If I said I was going to do something then I should do it.


Quoting conniejo75:

I don't loan money I can't afford to give.





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Steph1499
by Member on Jul. 6, 2013 at 9:12 PM
2 moms liked this

Well I think you did the right thing.  You loaned her money, gave a date to pay it back and tried a payment plan.  If you guys are best friends then she should value your friendship and pay you back.  

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