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Is it common for a woman in her 30's to not want intimacy?

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I don't want it.  I don't want anything to do with it.  Whether it be a kiss, a hug... or more.  I don't want it from my husband. I just want "space".  I don't want to be fussed with or over.  Just leave me be.  I don't know if it's something common that women my age go through or if it's saying something about my relationship.  Does this sound familiar to any of you? 

by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 12:26 PM
Replies (31-40):
by Member on Jul. 11, 2013 at 9:17 PM

Yes.  I love my husband, but I work 47+ hours a week in retail dealing with people and I have two small children (the youngest still nursing). Please don't touch me!  I thought it was just me and my hormones were wacky after pregnancy.  Maybe it is, but it's nice to know I'm not alone either way :)

by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 10:00 PM

I am a very sexual person. I've always wanted it. I can't ever see that changing.

How sexual were you before this? Plus, you mentioned you're pissed at him all the time. Right? What's up with that?


by Member on Jul. 11, 2013 at 10:38 PM
That makes sense, as I said dh and I are really social. Even just adding a weekend for just you two would help. Even if you don't go anywhere having the time without the kids should help. This works well for us because its not a set weekend of each month it's flexible as long as we make sure that each part of our lives gets dedicated time.

Quoting Coach777:

That's a really great idea.  It must be hard to stick to sometimes, but worth a try.  My hubby is the type that likes and needs time to himself.  He needs more downtime than the regular person and is not often up for social events.  My best friend... well, I'd like more time with her but since she's been with her new hubby she doesn't have much time for anyone else.  Miss her.  :(  So... I need to find a new friend close by.  Not give up on her but find someone else to hang with, I guess.

I can focus on many things and plan all this stuff, but he gets too stressed if there's too much on the go.  He just likes to lay low and watch his movies or play his games.  If there's too much planning or things he has to think about he gets too uptight.

by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 8:02 AM

I am the same but mine has a lot to do with stress. i am in my last year of nursing school so i am always stressed. Also i started my perimenopausal. You would have to check with your mom to see when she started her menopause. its usually a couple years difference if not spot on from when your mom started hers. But if you are extremely stressed out that will do it too. Either way you might want to see your physician.

by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 11:53 AM

I was and still am the same way.  I just am not an "affectionate" person.  I dont like to be touched or caressed or fondled.  Dont like to hold hands, etc.  I've been this way forever and i am 39 1/2 now.

by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 12:26 PM
I am the same way but I think it has to do with everything we have been through and we don't have date nights.
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 1:29 PM
After our dd was born and till now (she is 9mos) i do not want sex with him-actually i am bitter most of the time cause he doesn't help as he had promised to! Even more since we started dating he gained some weight and stopped being that slim man i met sth that i also find unfair and well not exactly arousing if you understand what i mean. As a conclusion in my case and probably yours there is work to be done in the relationship..
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 1:30 PM

I told my dh, sex is like a shower...when you have time for a nice long relaxing time, it's lovely...when you have to rush it becomes just another chore.  Not an annoying chore, like laundry or dishes, but something you can live without, if you have to.

by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 4:19 PM
I haven't wanted it when I reached my late 30's
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 7:01 PM

Me too, and I feel the same way. I don't want anything but to be left alone to read or watch my shows. 

Quoting Coach777:

I"m 36

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