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30 Something Moms 30 Something Moms

Is it common for a woman in her 30's to not want intimacy?

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I don't want it.  I don't want anything to do with it.  Whether it be a kiss, a hug... or more.  I don't want it from my husband. I just want "space".  I don't want to be fussed with or over.  Just leave me be.  I don't know if it's something common that women my age go through or if it's saying something about my relationship.  Does this sound familiar to any of you? 

by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 12:26 PM
Replies (41-50):
1sttimemama0531
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 10:02 PM
2 moms liked this
I could have written this exact same post myself! I have zero interest in being touched in any way by my SO right now. Even his breathing seems to get on my nerves. I have no idea if its normal, but you're not alone.
kimmayers
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 11:03 PM
1 mom liked this

I am the same way. I'll be 31 on Monday and I actually dread going to bed because I get harassed about sex. I just don't have the desire. I don't want to be pushed into it either and the bf does that, making me resent him. I don't hate him. We don't fight a lot. There are things that bother me about him but no one is perfect. I just feel as though if I want to be left alone then that's my right to be left alone. Sadly he doesn't see it that way and feels that if we don't have sex then I don't love him anymore and has actually said to me "what's the point of being together if we don't have sex" which irritated me. I've been checked because he practically MADE me go. I'm not "depressed" or having any medical issues, it's just me. This is the way I am. I'm afraid I will lose him because of it but what else can I do? I give in but like, once a week literally.

2nmytummy
by on Jul. 13, 2013 at 12:23 AM

I'm 9 weeks pregnant with twins and I have no desires to get intimate with my better half, due to this it is bringing up issues in our relationship. He wakes up arguing with me as if he is frustrated and doesn't understand what I am going through! My daughter is 15 and his 2 kids are in college so I'm still in shock that I'm expecting after so many years! And the last thing I need is more stress! Help ......what do I do????

Luv.My.Kidz
by Bronze Member on Jul. 13, 2013 at 12:23 AM

:( I don't know.... I want it but can't get in the damn mood

Luv.My.Kidz
by Bronze Member on Jul. 13, 2013 at 12:25 AM

? Troll? I barely knew I was pregnant at 9 weeks much less that I was having twins.... let me guess a girl and a boy?

Quoting 2nmytummy:

I'm 9 weeks pregnant with twins and I have no desires to get intimate with my better half, due to this it is bringing up issues in our relationship. He wakes up arguing with me as if he is frustrated and doesn't understand what I am going through! My daughter is 15 and his 2 kids are in college so I'm still in shock that I'm expecting after so many years! And the last thing I need is more stress! Help ......what do I do????


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2nmytummy
by on Jul. 13, 2013 at 12:27 AM
No sure on the sex yet! Went to the doctor on Tuesday and found out I was expecting twins.... I almost fell off the table literally!!!! Shocked!!!!! Fraternal
1sttimemama0531
by on Jul. 13, 2013 at 12:36 AM
I knew I was pregnant at 4 weeks and an ultrasound confirmed that it was a single fetus at my 8 week appointment, so it's definitely possible.


Quoting Luv.My.Kidz:

? Troll? I barely knew I was pregnant at 9 weeks much less that I was having twins.... let me guess a girl and a boy?

Quoting 2nmytummy:

I'm 9 weeks pregnant with twins and I have no desires to get intimate with my better half, due to this it is bringing up issues in our relationship. He wakes up arguing with me as if he is frustrated and doesn't understand what I am going through! My daughter is 15 and his 2 kids are in college so I'm still in shock that I'm expecting after so many years! And the last thing I need is more stress! Help ......what do I do????



1sttimemama0531
by on Jul. 13, 2013 at 12:44 AM
Once a week and he's still complaining??!! I can't even get myself to do it that frequently. He sounds like a lucky man to me! Lol

I've accepted that my relationship might end bc of my lack of libido. I have an 8 month old and if my SO can't be patient and really feels like he's going to die without sex then he's going to have to go elsewhere. I'm sick of the constant begging. I was at the point where I would rush and get into bed and fake sleep before he got home just for some peace! I'm done feeling uncomfortable in my own house. I told him that it's not going to happen right now & if he doesn't like it, he is free to leave.


Quoting kimmayers:

I am the same way. I'll be 31 on Monday and I actually dread going to bed because I get harassed about sex. I just don't have the desire. I don't want to be pushed into it either and the bf does that, making me resent him. I don't hate him. We don't fight a lot. There are things that bother me about him but no one is perfect. I just feel as though if I want to be left alone then that's my right to be left alone. Sadly he doesn't see it that way and feels that if we don't have sex then I don't love him anymore and has actually said to me "what's the point of being together if we don't have sex" which irritated me. I've been checked because he practically MADE me go. I'm not "depressed" or having any medical issues, it's just me. This is the way I am. I'm afraid I will lose him because of it but what else can I do? I give in but like, once a week literally.


MABmommy
by on Jul. 13, 2013 at 3:51 AM
I don't! I am right there with you. I am SO stressed and overwhelmed with life that sex is so far off my mind its not even funny. Part of it is from always having too much to do. Part of it is from all the stress life brings. And, most of it is from DH not being understanding, helpful, and supportive enough. I need to feel understood, but mostly I need someone to help take some of the load without me getting mad first.

That's about all I can say without becoming redundant and seem like I am still in nagging mode. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.

I am also very happy to read your post so I know that I am not alone. (Wish I could get that same kind of emotional support at home.)
Crissy2424
by Bronze Member on Jul. 13, 2013 at 1:19 PM

Yes! I am 25 and have no desire for sex. When he wants to wrap me up tight in his arms I just push away. I don't mind cuddling now and then, but otherwise I'm all set. You are not alone!

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