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My dh physically traps me

Posted by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 6:21 PM
  • 31 Replies
and forces me to give him kisses, not just a peck either he wants full on PDA. I freaking hate this and when i get mad about it he acts like i don't love him. Know we are not kids any more. I am 34 and he is 36, we have been married for almost 14 years. I find this behavior annoying, insulting and embarrassing, not to mention it totally turns me off. Am I wrong here? Do your husbands trap you and force you to make out with him before you can pass?

by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 6:21 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mhaney03
by Bronze Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 6:22 PM
1 mom liked this

My ex husband was overly affectionate.  I am the complete opposite.  I hate being touched.

morning_glories
by Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 6:31 PM
I am the same way. I don't like kissing in public at all, holding hands is about it. Is this difference part of the reason he is your ex?

Quoting mhaney03:

My ex husband was overly affectionate.  I am the complete opposite.  I hate being touched.

Bonneata
by Bronze Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 6:31 PM
1 mom liked this

I wish my lovely is no where near that affectionate. But if it bothers you he needs to respect that though.

mhaney03
by Bronze Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 7:13 PM
1 mom liked this

It is definitely part of it.  He said I made him feel unloved and unwanted.  I show it in other ways that he didn't get, we just didn't speak each other's language in that way. 


Quoting morning_glories:

I am the same way. I don't like kissing in public at all, holding hands is about it. Is this difference part of the reason he is your ex?

Quoting mhaney03:

My ex husband was overly affectionate.  I am the complete opposite.  I hate being touched.


 

offrdngal
by Gold Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 7:28 PM
3 moms liked this

 No, he knows that I would shove him out of my way if he tried.  It's a control issue (hence the "you don't love me" bullshit).

SallyB_LMT
by Bronze Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 7:34 PM
1 mom liked this

I am a peck on the cheek kind of gal.  Dh would love to full on makeout in the kitchen when I am trying to cook dinner, I am not all about that...lol  He has been growled at several times and I think he's finally getting the picture.  I do like attention, just not gropey, slobbery attention!  ;)

Tammywhynot
by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 7:36 PM
Why do ppl hate being touched and kissed, this I dont understand, its just showing that he loves u and wants to feel that way bk, hes odviously proud of u and doesnt mind that ppl know how he feels about u.......and after all that time u should be glad he still feels like that about u and u should feel like that about him.
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morning_glories
by Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 8:09 PM
That is what he says. It just makes me feel like a toy. I am a grown woman. It is partly my fault because i didn't mind as much when we were younger. Now if I am rushing around doing chores or making the kids plate at a party I feel he should show his love by helping me not getting in my way and making me feel self consious about the unwanted attention from others.

Quoting Tammywhynot:

Why do ppl hate being touched and kissed, this I dont understand, its just showing that he loves u and wants to feel that way bk, hes odviously proud of u and doesnt mind that ppl know how he feels about u.......and after all that time u should be glad he still feels like that about u and u should feel like that about him.
Crissy2424
by Bronze Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 8:15 PM

I wouldn't say traps me, but when I am close to him he tries for kisses. I sometimes gently usher him back if I am not into it.

SallyB_LMT
by Bronze Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 8:20 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't think it's that she doesn't want any attention ever.  It's the fact that he's forcing it on her, when she's not interested, that's wrong.  Just because he wants access to her body does not mean she is obligated.  He could ask first or do something she is more comfortable with.  He is disrespecting her by doing this when she has made it clear that she doesn't like it. 

I understand your point of view though.  Having a dh who is interested is a wonderful thing, not to be taken for granted.  If she dislikes this type of affection so much, she should find something that he likes equally to replace it.  Try to find a compromise, so they are both feeling loved and desired.

Quoting Tammywhynot:

Why do ppl hate being touched and kissed, this I dont understand, its just showing that he loves u and wants to feel that way bk, hes odviously proud of u and doesnt mind that ppl know how he feels about u.......and after all that time u should be glad he still feels like that about u and u should feel like that about him.

OP, my advice is to talk to him.  You've been together long enough that you should have some way of communicating your thoughts and wishes with him.  Maybe a letter first to get your thoughts out, then edit, etc, read it to him or just give it to him and say I'd like to talk about this later.  That's my approach to dealing with issues I am uncomfortable with or that I need to think about so that I don't hurt my dh or make him defensive.


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