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needing some suggestions for happiness.....

Posted by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 11:22 PM
  • 14 Replies
1st off, this past week and a half has been the absolute worst I could have ever imagined. Last Wednesday my mom called me because she was off work. She was going to take my sisters, ages 12 and 18 to the Dr then come to my house to see me. She decided to take a nap. Well, she never woke up. I got a call 45 minutes after I hung up the phone with my mom from my 18 year old sister telling me mom wasn't breathing. I rushed to her house. 30 minutes of CPR and she was gone. She was only 47 years old. We don't have results, but we think it was a seizure. She had one last year that gave us a scare. Anyway, I'm the eldest of 4. My dads never really been around much. So my sisters have been pretty much living with me since my mom passed. I have 5 children of my own. Ages 4 months to 12 years old. I'm ran so ragged. I feel like I haven't really grieved yet. Like its still not real to me. And all of women in my family (aunts, brothers fiancée, and my 18 year old sister keep making plans to go out to hang out to just take their minds off my moms sudden death. I can't go and do anything. I am nursing my youngest baby. I feel so alone. I don't have a babysitter for the older kids anyway. My husband works al of the time. But I feel so alone.

I'm sure I've left so much out, but I need help. Any suggestions would be great! Thanks so much.
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by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 11:22 PM
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Replies (1-10):
offrdngal
by Gold Member on Jul. 19, 2013 at 11:27 PM

 I am so sorry for your loss.  (((HUGS)))  I wish I had some advice for you, but I don't know what to do.  I hope you can find some way to grieve and find happiness, in time.

snowangel1979
by Bronze Member on Jul. 19, 2013 at 11:31 PM
First hugs. I'm sorry for your loss.

Maybe ask your sisters to watch the kids so you can just have a few hours to clear your head and think. Leave the house and go somewhere have a good cry and do some thinking.
Maybe even have a drink to relax, one won't hurt. Actually as tense are you probably are it may help. LOL.

If your youngest sister is going to be living with you, you should be able to get ssi? or whatever the letters are and child support for her care.
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hockey21
by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 11:32 PM

I'm sorry for your loss and so sudden..., , the female family members as well as yourself are still all in a shock due to the death so sudden, you need time to grieve your loss, I think you should let it go...scream  outside...jump  yell   get it out   you will then begin to accept your mom's death and help your sister's move on, good luck and God Bless!

Saphira1207
by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 11:41 PM
It sounds like your sisters are old enough to help you around the house and with their nieces/nephews. Ask them to. It may help them, as well as you, to have something to do to focus their mind on for now. Later, after the funeral and all of that is done, ask your husband to take some time off to help you get the space you need to grieve in. He's bound to get some sort of time off for a death in the family. For what it's worth a lot of people just emotionally coast through the initial stages of grief. there's so much to do/decide that it's easier to shut down for a little while. Once things settle a bit it will hit you and you'll just have to sit and cry for a while. If your sisters are still living with you ask them to take the kids for a bit so you can have the time you need. Actually, even if they're not, ask one of them to come over and help you out.
KendallsMommee
by Chrissy on Jul. 20, 2013 at 2:13 AM
So sorry, Momma!

:::hugs ::::
morning_glories
by Member on Jul. 20, 2013 at 7:18 AM

 I know your kids are too young to babysit so that you can go out, but have you thought of letting them watch the babies while you go for a long walk so that you can just think and cry. Bring your cell phone with you in case of emergency, but make sure your kids know what an emergency is. Maybe since your one sister is 18, you two should walk together so that you can have someone to talk to and maybe make a pact to help each other through the grieving process.

I am so sorry for your loss, im sorry

Snakecharm
by Member on Jul. 20, 2013 at 8:19 AM
I'm so sorry! What a horrible shock!!! I understand your sisters desire to go out to take her mind off things, but she's old enough to help take some of his burden off of you. She needs to agree to help the younger ones to give you a break.

I can't imagine what the family is going through but you really need to stick together right now.
Snakecharm
by Member on Jul. 20, 2013 at 8:21 AM
You must have some milk in storage... Take an afternoon to yourself and let your sister or husband take over baby duty for a few hours.
Snakecharm
by Member on Jul. 20, 2013 at 8:22 AM
Do you know who your mom had in her will to care for your sisters?
latopmom
by Member on Jul. 20, 2013 at 8:26 AM
This......and I'm extremely sorry for your loss.


Quoting snowangel1979:

First hugs. I'm sorry for your loss.



Maybe ask your sisters to watch the kids so you can just have a few hours to clear your head and think. Leave the house and go somewhere have a good cry and do some thinking.

Maybe even have a drink to relax, one won't hurt. Actually as tense are you probably are it may help. LOL.



If your youngest sister is going to be living with you, you should be able to get ssi? or whatever the letters are and child support for her care.

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