Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

30 Something Moms 30 Something Moms

Need advice for my 20mo (PIOG)

Posted by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 12:47 PM
  • 6 Replies

 My youngest dd is 20 months old and I have a couple of concerns that I am looking to get some advice on.

First is her eating habits. She is incredibly picky and won't even try new things. The rare occasion I get her to try something new she either immediately spits it out or, if she does manage to swallow it, will begin gagging. She does it with food and drinks. The only thing she will drink is water and breast milk (straight from the breast, refuses it in a cup). For food, she refuses to eat any fruits or veggies in any form. She will eat some meat (usually only chicken or hamburger), she loves cheese, cereal (I try to limit this to cheerios but she has occasionally been allowed some of the other sweeter cereals like lucky charms), nutrigrain bars, toast, pb&j, mac&cheese...I think that's pretty much it. I offer her whatever we are eating at every meal. I'm usually lucky if she'll take a couple of bites unless it's one of the foods I listed above. Only drinking water, you would think that would be a good thing, but when I need her to drink something to help her out with another issue (i.e. apple juice to help if she becomes constipated) I'm out of luck and trying to find other ways to help.

The other concern is sleep. At 20 months old she should pretty much be sleeping through the night. She does not though. She will still wake at least once or twice and usually nurses from that point until we get up in the morning (this can be HOURS). To make matters worse, her sleep schedule will not stay reasonable. She fights taking a nap all day long, usually not going to sleep until 7:30pm-8:00pm. She'll treat that as a nap, wake up 2-3 hours later, then wants to play again for another 4-5 hours before she's finally ready to go to sleep for the night. I. Am. EXHAUSTED! I have a 4yo as well, work full time from home while taking care of both of my girls, take care of the house, run errands, etc. I'm not getting to sleep until anywhere between 2am and 5am pretty much every night. Lately my dh gives in and ends up taking her for a drive because that seems to be the only thing that will get her to sleep at night anymore (once she gets sleepy enough). Any other efforts we make just don't work. I have run out of ideas! A friend and my sister both recommended the kids sleepytime tea. I tried it last night but couldn't get her to drink it (I tried to allow her to drink it herself and when that didn't work I tried using a syringe to give it to her and she ended up gagging. I got about 2 small swallows into her which was pretty much useless).

I would love to finish weaning her but between the sleep issue and the food issue, I worry about taking the breastmilk away completely. I am seriously at a loss at this point. My oldest dd fought her naps at this age but slept great at night and never had the food issue so this is all new. HELP!

CafeMom Tickers



CafeMom Tickers


by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 12:47 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-6):
lalasmama2007
by Ticia on Jul. 24, 2013 at 7:53 PM

Bump

12yrmama
by Bronze Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 9:21 PM

Eating: have you tried diferent textures? My youngest refuses anything mushy, so her veg and fruit have to be a little firm. She also WON"T get her fingers sticky, at 17 mos she wanted a fork, and used it! Beans are awesome for a different protein and will keep her regular. Does she eat what you're eating or something else? Mine love eating the same as us.

Drinking: have you tried straw cups? Or even regular cups? Slowly adding in juice to her water, a little at a time so she doesn't notice?

Sleep: Do what you have to do. I wouldn't want to wean if she wasn't eating well, but then she doesn't have to eat if she's nursing at night... so its up to you. I did bedshare with mine while they were still bfing, this allows you to sleep better and having you near she may sleep better too.

Good luck!

clairewait
by Bronze Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 9:46 PM
1 mom liked this

I typically choose tough love over personal exhaustion.

With eating, I don't remember how early this worked, but I have an 8 month old now and am using this tactic... build up to the good food. Start out bite for bite. Bite of what you want her to eat, bite of what she wants. Gradually move to entire portions. I'm sure this is technically termed "bribery." And it works.

If you want her to stop waking up at night you are going to have to stop going to her. Period.

She doesn't need to eat at night. Her daytime pickiness is possibly affected by her nighttime snacking. I cut out all snacks for mine when they don't eat regular meals. If they are hungry, they will eat. And starvation is a long slow process, you will definitely see it coming before DSS finds you. :)


I'm not trying to be snarky. But it always helps me to get perspective when I'm IN IT, you know? 20 months isn't a baby anymore (even though we want it to be). Whether you want to admit it or not, these are early signs of power struggles, and the earlier you nip them, ultimately the quicker and easier it will be.

And even if they are not a power struggle, if you treat them as if they are, you will still hone her into healthy habits, again, earlier rather than later, which is always easier. Wouldn't you rather get your breaking point over with sooner? Because you will end up in the same place either way, if you let it drag out.

Claire Wait

My blog: TheUnderToad.com

BrooklynsMom11
by Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 9:47 PM
My dd can be a pretty pickey eater too. Just gotta keep offering it to her. I read it can take 10-12 times of trying something before a child will start liking it. I also hide veggies in her food, especially in mac-n-cheese. My dd loves ketchup so we offer her a little with her meal and she usually eats more to be able to dunk stuff in it. Maybe try letting her sprinkle some parmeson cheese on her food. She may think it makes it taste better or is special - if that makes sense. :)
My dd is also in a pretty set schedule as well. It is the only way she sleeps. She goes to daycare but when she's home she fights her naps as well. The only way I can get her to nap is by putting her in her stroller, even if I have to fight her a bit to get her in it. She falls asleep in it almost everytime. I just have to make sure it's around the same time everyday.
We weaned a few months ago at 21 months but she still wakes once a night for a small cup of milk. Before weaning she did the same sort of nursing as yours. I couldn't handle it anymore so my dh took over bed time and we quit nursing cold turkey. She was upset at first but got over it pretty quickly.

Good luck!
.
.Peaches.
by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 9:52 PM
1 mom liked this

The food thing sounds normal- 2 year olds are picky eaters. Sometimes its a flavor thing, sometimes its a texture thing. My oldest, who at everything under the sun, suddenly started turning her head away when I would offer her new foods around that age. She's still kinda picky at age 7.

She is definitely old enough to be sleeping through the night, and it sounds like its more of a comfort feeding than anything else, which is a habit you've got to break. My youngest was doing that at 9 months old, and her ped told us to stop getting up and feeding her (because she wasn't really hungry). It took about a month, but eventually, she stopped getting up. What time is she waking up in the mornings?

Also, about the nap...stop letting her fall asleep that late, that's why she's wired all late at night. If she doesn't want to take a nap at a reasonable hour, you've got to do whatever you've got to do to keep her awake until bedtime, even if that means having a cranky toddler on your hands. Sometimes my girls would fight naptime too, so the alternative was to have 'quiet time' for 2 hours in the afternoon. The rule was you didn't have to go to sleep, but you did have to stay in the bed. 9 times out of 10, after they were done crying, they'd fall right to sleep. If you can't tell, I'm kinda a self-soothing, cry it out, tough love mom. Why? Because I have a lot of things to take care of in a day, and I need my rest to do them effectively. There are other people who live in this house, and my children learned early on that the world does not revolve around them and their moods. Now if I had a child that had some sort of developmental problem, that'd be a different story, but for normal children? Forget that all that mess.

.Peaches.
by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 9:58 PM


Quoting clairewait:

I typically choose tough love over personal exhaustion.

With eating, I don't remember how early this worked, but I have an 8 month old now and am using this tactic... build up to the good food. Start out bite for bite. Bite of what you want her to eat, bite of what she wants. Gradually move to entire portions. I'm sure this is technically termed "bribery." And it works.

If you want her to stop waking up at night you are going to have to stop going to her. Period.

She doesn't need to eat at night. Her daytime pickiness is possibly affected by her nighttime snacking. I cut out all snacks for mine when they don't eat regular meals. If they are hungry, they will eat. And starvation is a long slow process, you will definitely see it coming before DSS finds you. :)


I'm not trying to be snarky. But it always helps me to get perspective when I'm IN IT, you know? 20 months isn't a baby anymore (even though we want it to be). Whether you want to admit it or not, these are early signs of power struggles, and the earlier you nip them, ultimately the quicker and easier it will be.

And even if they are not a power struggle, if you treat them as if they are, you will still hone her into healthy habits, again, earlier rather than later, which is always easier. Wouldn't you rather get your breaking point over with sooner? Because you will end up in the same place either way, if you let it drag out.

I gotta co-sign on all this- power struggles are just beginning at this age, and if you give into them, you're only setting yourself up for worse when they get older.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)