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I know this is a common question, but is it possible to transition from head of household into stay at home mom?!

Posted by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 4:01 AM
  • 33 Replies

I haven't really seen anyone ask this question, until today, but I'm sure it has been asked over and over! :)  I have 3 children. A 5yr boy, 2.5 yr old girl and a 2 mo. old baby boy and I desperately want to stay home with them.  I've always told my husband that if we had 3 kids we would have to stay home because we have struggled to pay daycare for our two children.  Well I'm due back to work next month and I don't see us being able to afford daycare or a nanny.  My son will be starting Kindergarten this year so that some what helps, I guess.  I just know my husband will have a heart attack if I did it!  I get paid more than $30 an hour and he get paid $16.00 an hour.  Our kids are on my insurance because that's the cheapest option.  We have TWO cars payments and my car is in my name as well as my mom's.  We both have bills in collections and I have student loans to pay off (more than 20,000).  My idea is to stay home and work my business (independent distributor for It works!) to supplement my full-time job's income.  My dad thinks I'm crazy and have a stable career in a unstable economy.  Not sure what my mom thinks, but I would probably need to run it by her considering she co-signed for my vehicle and I'm not sure if I could cover my monthly payment at first.  I'm just not ok with dropping them off to someone who may cut us "the deal of the century" just to save money.  We did that for our last provider and I couldn't wait to take them out of there once I had my son.  With only a few weeks before I'm due back to work, I plan on sitting down my husband to talk to him about this, but not sure how to approach it.  Do people get unemployment for qutiing there jobs?  Is that extremely selfish to say or ask?!  I need positive/realistic feedback asap!  Thanks! :)

by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 4:01 AM
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Replies (1-10):
thriftymom35
by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 6:04 AM
1 mom liked this
Oh wow, that's tough.......hmmmm, I personally think that with some careful planning most families could make it with just one income. Staying home with the kids is a very important job, kudos to you for recognizing that! I think you are on the right track with writing down your plan on paper before you tell DH..........I'm sorry, I don't know if you get unemployment for quitting but it's something you need to research thoroughly before you quit. I wouldn't quit without a plan. I hope you get full support from your mom and hubby, hugs mama
Bleacher-mom
by Member on Jul. 25, 2013 at 6:13 AM
2 moms liked this

$30 an hour, that's alot to give up. Have you thought about having DH stay home instead of you? There are dads that do that. I home school and know of one dad at my mothers church that home schools.

It was a tough choice for us as well. My kids were 3 and infant when the company I worked for shut down all of the stores in my area. We had first decided for me to stay home until oldest could go to school to save on daycare, and we weren't any worse off me staying home than when I worked. After a while we started looking at home schooling and decided to give it a try. My son is 9 now and home schooling is going pretty good.

I'm not saying that it's for everyone, but I wish I would have had something set up to make money from home before all of this. I'm working on it now, and hope it works. Maybe you could start off selling on the side and if it increases enough, then you could stay home.

thriftymom35
by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 6:28 AM
1 mom liked this
I was thinking it would be good if hubs stated home also cuz he makes less but I figured you wanted to be the one to stay home. Doesn't sound like your hubby would even want to do that to me from your post. Love the idea of setting up something on the side. I agree, we make it fine on one income, but a little extra NEVER HURTS!
SkinnyWrapDiva
by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 6:36 AM
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What rank are you w/ IW? If you hit double diamond you would be pretty much replacing your current income, assuming you only work 40 hours a week now. I think if you're able to work IW full time you could totally do it! Touch base w/ your leader, tell them your goals and have them help you map it! :)


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AjCeCeMom
by Member on Jul. 25, 2013 at 6:42 AM
1 mom liked this
You should try and increase your WAH income before you quit, it already sounds you like are struggling. Get stuff out of collections, save as much as you can and then you can stay home. Leaving your co signer with car payments that you can't afford is selfish, you drastically need to lower your expenses and get things paid.
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boshs1andonly
by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 6:49 AM
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I understand where you are coming from about the child care, about the cost and the fact that you don't want just anyone watching your child. I recently asked my SIL to watch my dd for $20 an hour (which is way more than I'd pay anyone else) because I really needed someone and it was worth paying that to get someone I trust & dd likes rather than hiring some random person. To answer one of your questions, no I don't think you get unemployment if you quit. My manager was always on us to keep track of the people that walked out because that means they quit and if they try for unemployment we fight it. As for the other stuff, I wouldn't quit my job if I had a car payment that someone co-signed on, it's not really fair to them since you agree to pay for it. I think in situation the best thing to do is to find someone to watch your child, at least on a short term basis, make more income from your side business then stay home. It doesn't make sense to quit now, you'd basically be cutting your income by 2/3 and you admit that you're already struggling. I'm not judging by the way, I'm self employed and I've heard on more than one occasion that I need a 9-5 and we'd be better off especially because I have a Masters. I'm not saying you shouldn't go for it if that's what you want. But if it doesn't make sense right now, and it really doesn't seem to, maybe you should wait it out.

WifeySlymm
by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 8:03 AM
1 mom liked this

I know how you feel. I'm head of household for my house and dh would LOVE for me to stay home but it's not possible. Kids and him are on my insurance and I pay for damn near everything. He JUST got a steady job so we will see in the future. To offfset daycare costs we work different shifts.. I'm home during the day while he works and he is home at night while I work..


Good luck to you

Briesmom38
by Gold Member on Jul. 25, 2013 at 8:08 AM
1 mom liked this

I think it's great you want to stay home with your children, but you need to be realistic about it.  At this point in time it doesn't look like you are financially secure enough to be able to walk away from a good paying job, esepcially one that you have insurance thru.  

You have obligations you need to meet, paying off your student loans, and getting your bills out of collections - in case you didn't know, in some cases if bills in collections go on for too long they can take you to court, then you not only have to try and come up with the money you owe in the first place, but you have court costs and in some cases lawyer fees, just a heads up...  

Plus it's not right to leave your co-signer on the line for a car that you may or may not be able to afford.

And to answer your question, No, you do not get unemployment if you quit your job unless there are extreme circumstances like your safety is at risk, or your being sexually harassed.  The state will take a hard look at why you quit especially in this economy.


** It's 5 O'clock Somewhere **

12yrmama
by Bronze Member on Jul. 25, 2013 at 8:27 AM
1 mom liked this
I convinced my dh because of the cost of two in daycare, plus how much they would get sick (I don't get salary so some weeks we wouldn't even make money!). My husband makes more than me, so it was easy for me to stay home... Try just laying out the fianc├ęs, point out the cost of daycare and how much you'd have left over- what bills can you pay on his salary? What bills can you cut out (cable, phones, trade in a car)? Then you've made your point. Don't forget about the cost of work(gas, lunches, clothes)any chance of him staying home? At least then you'll feel less stressed about leaving.
KylesMom409
by Linnette on Jul. 25, 2013 at 8:39 AM
1 mom liked this
I agree. Hugs and best wishes!

Quoting AjCeCeMom:

You should try and increase your WAH income before you quit, it already sounds you like are struggling. Get stuff out of collections, save as much as you can and then you can stay home. Leaving your co signer with car payments that you can't afford is selfish, you drastically need to lower your expenses and get things paid.
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