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better way to handle this? piog

Posted by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 12:43 PM
  • 4 Replies

Our next-door-neighbor's dd (6)came over w/ something to give to our dd (8).  I have heard the kids say they are allowed to play in our yard, but not come in the house.  We respect Mom & Dad's wishes on this.  Anyway, I stood in the open door while calling our dd over.  Didn't feel polite to close it on the kid.  Kid walks in, starts looking @ our turtle & rabbits that we have in the living room.  I asked her if she was allowed in the house, & told her I didn't want her in trouble w/ Mom & Dad.  "No, I'll just stay a min or two."   Don't wanna make her feel unwelcome, but also don't wanna get in trouble w/ her parents for doing something she's not s'posed to do. 

by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 12:43 PM
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Replies (1-4):
kyledavidsmom
by Tara on Jul. 30, 2013 at 12:48 PM
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I feel the same way as you do. I usually meet the parents so I can find out from them.
catevincesmom
by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 12:53 PM

 I do know the mom pretty well-I just haven't brought this up 'cause I don't wanna seem pushy or like I don't respect her wishes on this.  And I don't think she wants to bring this up, 'cause she doesn't wanna create waves.  Instead, if not done correctly, it gets awkward.  lol


Quoting kyledavidsmom:

I feel the same way as you do. I usually meet the parents so I can find out from them.


 

Jinxed8
by Gold Member on Jul. 30, 2013 at 2:43 PM
1 mom liked this

it's a weird situation ... but hey the kid has to face his/her decision.   Some parents are odd this way.  I do always meet the parents of DD's playdates but I don't put them through an FBI investigation either ... Some kids DD has gone to play with and even sleep over at have become great great friends ... can't imagine if I would have said no everytime !

Knightquester
by Silver Member on Jul. 30, 2013 at 2:54 PM
1 mom liked this

I would probably step outside and close my door behind me and tell her we'll wait there in front of my house.  If the kid tried to enter I would probably say to go ask their mom/dad and come back to me if they are alright with her entering and I'll let her in.  I am pretty strict and I've had kids try to weasel their way into doing something I know their parents wouldn't agree with, and so I really stick to my guns on the whole ask your parents then part.

I wouldn't mention it to her parents now that it's done and over with, but I wouldn't repeat letting her do something you know they don't want her to.  Having peaceful and happy neighbors to me is more important than having angry and mad ones.  If it ever comes up in conversation then I'd just let the parents know you asked the kid if it was alright and then reiterate what the child said to you and shrug it off as you really didn't know their stance on the matter.  More than likely they will tell you how they feel then and there and you can then promise to respect that, but without them actually telling you then you can feign ignorance.

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