Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Family Reunions

Posted by on Aug. 14, 2013 at 3:42 PM
  • 22 Replies

My dh's family is trying to plan a family reunion for next year.  His mom is #4 of 8 siblings and with their extended family it comes to 75 people.  39 of us are on the west coast in CA, OR and WA.  There are 3 in NV, the rest are spread out over the east coast a few in IL, a couple in MI and then PA, GA, VA, FL.  You get the idea.  The last reunion they had was before dh and I married about 13 years ago, it was in Virginia Beach which was a midpoint for the east coasters.  I suggested N Cali, since the most west coasters would be able to attend, but the east coast cousins keep suggesting places like UT, NV, CO, which we would have to fly to then rent a car or drive 2 days both way, thus using up most of our time travelling.  Do you think it's unreasonable for me to want it closer to the majority of us, where we could probably all drive within a day versus having to pay extra for transportation?  Also, am I out of line to be trying to help with the planning, since I am an IL and not one of the 'blood relations'? 

Do any of you have family reunions?  Have any of you tried to plan one?

by on Aug. 14, 2013 at 3:42 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Raeann11
by Silver Member on Aug. 14, 2013 at 6:03 PM

For hubby's side we have one every year. We are the only ones that live out of town. So we have to drive there every year. We take it as time for a family vacation and spend time with his Dad and his wife and do things there.Some years we have not been able to go.

I have been to others and missed quite a few.

carakitty
by Bronze Member on Aug. 14, 2013 at 6:31 PM

We had a mini family reunion for my parents 50th wedding anniversary. It was them, my sister and brothers, me, and all of our kids. In total that made it 12 people.We ended up choosing to go on a Disney Cruise. Yes, it was expensive as heck but everyone loved it! We had a pretty big age range covering my parents in their 70's down to my DD who was 6 and the youngest at the time with a couple of teenagers in the middle too. There were activities that everyone could enjoy and all of us parents were pretty relaxed about letting the kids 'roam free' because they couldn't wander too far on the boat! The cruise seemed like the fairest option regarding travel because we all had to get to our closest airport and fly out to Florida to catch the boat.

I don't think it's unreasonable to want it closer. It sounds like the last reunion was on the East Coast so I think it's fair that this one is one the West Coast, and then for the next one it could go back to the East again, or maybe out to the Rockies region. I think it would take the UT/ NV/ CO crew more than a day to NorCal. From what I hear it would take them three days to get up there, weather dependant of course.

As far as the help with planning, I think it all depends on your relationship with your in-laws and who the head planner is. Were you asked to help? Are any of the other in-laws contributing input? I don't have experience helping with planning from the side of being an in-law but in my family we are usually pretty diplomatic and like to hear everyone's opinions, husbands and wives included.

I think with planning a big event like this, the key is to be accomidating to everyone but to also realize that things won't be absolutely perfect for anyone, if that makes sense! There will always be someone who is unsatisfied with something.

Good luck with this and don't lose your marbles! :)

SallyB_LMT
by Bronze Member on Aug. 14, 2013 at 7:17 PM
Quoting Raeann11:

For hubby's side we have one every year. We are the only ones that live out of town. So we have to drive there every year. We take it as time for a family vacation and spend time with his Dad and his wife and do things there.Some years we have not been able to go.

I have been to others and missed quite a few.

When you were unable to go did you send your dh?  Or do you only go as a family.  There are 6 of us in our family and it's really hard to travel with the little one and even harder for dh to take off more than a week at a time.  He also has crohns disease which makes travelling difficult at times.

SallyB_LMT
by Bronze Member on Aug. 14, 2013 at 7:17 PM



Quoting carakitty:

We had a mini family reunion for my parents 50th wedding anniversary. It was them, my sister and brothers, me, and all of our kids. In total that made it 12 people.We ended up choosing to go on a Disney Cruise. Yes, it was expensive as heck but everyone loved it! We had a pretty big age range covering my parents in their 70's down to my DD who was 6 and the youngest at the time with a couple of teenagers in the middle too. There were activities that everyone could enjoy and all of us parents were pretty relaxed about letting the kids 'roam free' because they couldn't wander too far on the boat! The cruise seemed like the fairest option regarding travel because we all had to get to our closest airport and fly out to Florida to catch the boat.

I don't think a Disney cruise is going to happen, at this point most of us here on the west coast just could not afford it at all.

I don't think it's unreasonable to want it closer. It sounds like the last reunion was on the East Coast so I think it's fair that this one is one the West Coast, and then for the next one it could go back to the East again, or maybe out to the Rockies region. I think it would take the UT/ NV/ CO crew more than a day to NorCal. From what I hear it would take them three days to get up there, weather dependant of course.

There aren't any relatives in UT/NV/CO, they are all going to have to fly no matter where we go, unless it's on the east coast again.  I just think if they're travelling all the way over here then they should come far enough that we can all attend if we want to.

As far as the help with planning, I think it all depends on your relationship with your in-laws and who the head planner is. Were you asked to help? I was included in the planning conversation they're having on facebook.  Are any of the other in-laws contributing input? There are a lot of people weighing in.  It looks like we could have a fairly decent size group if it can be worked out so that it's at a reasonable date and place.  I don't have experience helping with planning from the side of being an in-law but in my family we are usually pretty diplomatic and like to hear everyone's opinions, husbands and wives included.

I think with planning a big event like this, the key is to be accomidating to everyone but to also realize that things won't be absolutely perfect for anyone, if that makes sense! There will always be someone who is unsatisfied with something.

Good luck with this and don't lose your marbles! :)

Haha, easier said than done.  :)  Thanks for your response.



Raeann11
by Silver Member on Aug. 14, 2013 at 7:20 PM

Because hubby had no time off for work. Because hubby was sick. Because we could not afford it.

Quoting SallyB_LMT:

Quoting Raeann11:

For hubby's side we have one every year. We are the only ones that live out of town. So we have to drive there every year. We take it as time for a family vacation and spend time with his Dad and his wife and do things there.Some years we have not been able to go.

I have been to others and missed quite a few.

When you were unable to go did you send your dh?  Or do you only go as a family.  There are 6 of us in our family and it's really hard to travel with the little one and even harder for dh to take off more than a week at a time.  He also has crohns disease which makes travelling difficult at times.


diaperstodating
by Angel on Aug. 14, 2013 at 7:39 PM

Yes. I go to 3 Family Reunions every summer. My step father's is the closest, it is in Baltimore, sometimes in a city closer to us (I live in Maryland). My husbands Family Reunion is always on the Eastern Shore which is about 2 hours away. My Family Reunion is in Georgia, it is a 12 hour drive that we have taken for the past 21 years (since I was 12). When I was younger my mom, dad, sister and I took the drive. Now there are alot more of us. My mom, stepfather, me, my sister, my four boys and my niece and nephew. We take 2-3 vehicles.

family car

KylesMom409
by Linnette on Aug. 14, 2013 at 7:46 PM
My family is so small, there'd be no reason for a reunion.
JOYFULMOM76
by Member on Aug. 14, 2013 at 8:08 PM

HI SallyB,

I hear your concerns and you have a right to be concerned. As a non-blood relative this can come up as an "excuse" to their complaints. It is a political job for sure because you are going to be involved with many different opinions and you can never have high expectations to please everyone. Some may say to get yourself a committee-just 4-5 people who agree with you and start small. Plan among and rely on your small committe and then work love and patience and you might be surprised who will come your way.

 

countrymomma81
by Platinum Member on Aug. 14, 2013 at 8:14 PM

We are having one Saturday for MIL's mother's side. It's easy because they all live near here though. 

mjimaging
by Melissa on Aug. 14, 2013 at 9:03 PM
We don't have reunions but when we have family gatherings I think they should be closest to the whole. Fewest people to travel but tat isn't how it works here. My inlaws will go to the person farthest away and expect that we will just follow. In starting to put my foot down. I'm tired of the non-sense.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)