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Would you ever let your kids watch you give birth?

Posted by on Aug. 15, 2013 at 3:16 PM
  • 49 Replies

My Kids Will Be in the Delivery Room When I Have My Third Baby


by Sasha Brown-Worsham

family birthAmong the many things on my to-do list, 16 weeks into my third pregnancy, is figuring out what kind of labor I want to have. Do I want to do a water birth? Use the same birthing stool I used the first time? Use a home birth midwife or regular midwives? All these questions are swirling around in my head as I prepare for my third (and probably last) labor. I am excited and nervous -- this third labor has a lot to live up to considering how perfect and quiet and meditative my first two were. But one thing is clear: I want my two older children in or near the place where I deliver.

This wasn't something I realized right away. It has come to me in a series of moments. My kids have spent the summer kissing my growing belly, cuddling it, and talking almost non-stop about "our" new baby. My daughter will be 7 when her sister is due and my son will be 5.5. They are on the young end for being in the delivery room, so it hadn't even occurred to me that they might be able to be there.

Until I heard from friends who'd involved their children even younger than my own.

Soon it seemed almost cruel NOT to have them there. There is this huge event that we have been anticipating for months. It's a family event, something we are all celebrating. And yet, I am leaving them out of the best part? How can that be?

I have some experience in the matter, too. Back when my sister was born 27 years ago, I was in the delivery room. I was 8. At the time, I was well-prepared. My mother had brought me to hospital birthing classes throughout her pregnancy. She had made sure I had watched videos of more than one birth and also that there was an adult who could whisk me out of the room in case things became dangerous.

I spent the morning of my sister's birth in and out of the delivery room (she had a family suite), alternating between reading a book with my babysitter and watching my mother and father and her doula breathe, walk, and go through contractions. When my sister started to crown, I have never been more excited in my entire life. It was scary (the episiotomy, for instance), but it was also moving, thrilling, and really important that I got to be part of it.

Twenty years later, almost to the day, I gave birth to my own first child. Because I had been there for my mom's natural drug-free labor, I wasn't scared. I took the surges as they came, rode them, listened to my midwife, took a long bath, and when it was time, I pushed her out on the birthing stool. No fear. That was what being there did for me. The fear most women have from years of watching movies and A Baby Story on TLC was totally absent for me. I'd seen it done. I knew it wasn't as bad as all that.

In part, that's what I want to give my kids. But it's more than that, too. Sure, there are some scary parts to birth. I am sure I will be loud and moaning and out of it, but this is life pain. This isn't bad pain. To see how we come into this world firsthand is a gift I am only going to be able to give my kids once. I know I want my daughter there. My son may not be able to handle it, and if not, that's OK. I will have someone there to take him out.

But I suspect he will be fine. They have both seen the videos of me giving birth to him. They have seen the miracle of life at the Museum of Science. I think they can handle it. Besides, if my past labors are any indication, this should be fast and furious anyway.

For now, we are planning to have them there, assuming they both want to be there. It's a family event.

Now, I just need to figure out how to make that happen.

Would you ever let your kids watch you give birth?

by on Aug. 15, 2013 at 3:16 PM
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Replies (1-10):
diaperstodating
by Angel on Aug. 15, 2013 at 3:18 PM

Yes. I would love for my boys to be in the room! I had c-sections so they were not allowed in the room, but I wouldn't have minded them there. I am done having kids so this won't be an option for me anyway.

RandiBear
by on Aug. 15, 2013 at 3:38 PM
1 mom liked this

No, but only because I have to have C-sections and the idea of him being near sharp things horrifies me because he's WAY too curious and rambunctious. Not safe lol

TableforSeven
by Judy on Aug. 15, 2013 at 4:02 PM

No.  -I- never wanted to see -myself- give birth....why would I subject my kids to it?

Saharra
by Bronze Member on Aug. 15, 2013 at 4:06 PM
Nope. I have two little boys and I can just imagine the nightmares we would have afterwards.... But I'm done having kids too, so it's not a worry.
mrsary
by Silver Member on Aug. 15, 2013 at 4:09 PM
I would love for my 5 and 8 year olds to be in the room! My 3 yr old no, cause he won't comprehend what's going on and will get upset.
valrubio
by on Aug. 15, 2013 at 4:09 PM

I wish I could but I have cesareans and only DH is allowed in operation room. My DH does video tape the baby being pulled out of my tummy and we let the kids watch the video of the baby being born. They love it!

CountryGrlAtHrt
by on Aug. 15, 2013 at 4:18 PM

 When I gave birth to my daughter,my son was way to young and would not have understood what was going on,if I were to have another child and my Kids were wanting to watch then yes I would allow them to,having a baby is a blessing and it is neat to witness child birth.

Jinxed8
by Gold Member on Aug. 15, 2013 at 4:18 PM
1 mom liked this

NEVER - it is NOT a pretty sight.  It was traumatizing enough for me I cannot imagine subjecting a child to this.  In my case it didn't go well, I cannot imagine my daughter seeing me bleed all over the place, vomit, scream in pain, being hooked up to a oxygen tank, seeing the anathesiologist sticking a giant needle in my back 5 times.  Me telling a nurse to F-off.  Hell my ex-husband practically couldn't take the whole thing.  Good grief it would be enough for her to never ever want to give birth ever.  I know the experience was enough for me to say never again ...

JamieBue38
by on Aug. 15, 2013 at 4:22 PM

If it's your thing, sure...

I don't know if you'll allow your children to *see* you give birth, that would horrify me if I were a child, or if my mom was sweating and crying, that would make me cry too... honestly I don't think it's a great idea, this is why people do these things privately.

I had a c-section, but I like not to feel crowded and claustrophobic, so the less people in the room, the better. 

I'm not saying a child shouldn't see their mom at their weak point, but it's just not something a child should see. 

Zoe_13
by on Aug. 15, 2013 at 4:32 PM

I have mostly boys and I'm definitely not interested in having them in the room with me when I deliver. I think the only the only thing that would register with them is "ill I see mommy's private area", all the blood, and they'll probably think the placenta was something out of an alien movie. Hopefully they'll have their time later in life to experience the birth of their own children. No rush as far as I'm concerned.

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