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How much help do you get from your partner (if applicable)?

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Hi. I'm new here. I have four kids, 2, 4, 11, and 12.

My husband works full time, and I stay home. All four kids are in school, at least until 2:30. To complicate things, I have some chronic conditions that I try my best not to let get in the way of daily life (but they do).

Anyhow, I am wondering what do you think is reasonable to ask for help with, particularly with the kids?

How much help do you get? With what things is particular?

It's not so much that he's not willing, but I have an internal struggle asking him for help and often feel guilty, like I should be able to handle it all.

Come to think of it, when I've taken the kids on a trip without him, it was a lot of work, but is was actually freeing because of the lack of emotional turmoil.

Thnk you!

by on Sep. 16, 2013 at 12:55 PM
Replies (11-20):
TableforSeven
by Judy on Sep. 17, 2013 at 12:41 AM

My husband has always been a very hands-on father.  Even when he was working long hours or doing a lot of traveling.....the second he was home he was "Dad" -- doing anything and everything that needed to be done for the kids -- baths, homework help, taking them out for some fun, bedtime routine, etc.

He has also always been very hands-on with household chores - cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc.  

I have been a SAHM since before our first child was born (21 years now) - we have 5 kids ages (almost) 21, (almost) 17, 14, 11 and 10 - and he has always helped with anything that needs to be done, as well as giving me breaks.  

Cafe Kelly
by Head Admin on Sep. 17, 2013 at 7:08 AM

Hello and welcome!

My husband works a lot but when he's home he always helps. 

mudwrap
by Member on Sep. 17, 2013 at 7:22 AM
I noticed that a lot of sahms feels the need to do everything at home. I'm a sahm and I think that's bs. I can never do everything. I don't want to. The work that we do is such a menial job that we totally need help with the chores & we need a break from time to time!

My hubby works so much and I never complain about him working. He works & makes money which supports our family. He's a very good man & provider. He also helps me at home. These are at random and not all the time. Last night he gave our baby a bath, during the day he drove the kids to school and to after school activities. Weekend, he cooked, did the groceries, helped clean and threw the trash.
loveTHEviking
by on Sep. 17, 2013 at 8:38 AM

I'm a SAHM so during the day I do pretty much everything. My 6 yr old is in school and I have a 22month old that I'm with all day. DH works full time but when he gets home in the evenings it's 50/50 with us. He helps when he can and for the most part the kids are up his butt instead of mine which is nice. Instead of mom mom mom it's dad dad dad lol. He enjoys it though :).

JadeTigr7
by Bronze Member on Sep. 17, 2013 at 9:27 AM

I'm a SAHM.  My husband is in the army.  He comes home sometimes in the morning after PT and he'll make the kids breakfast, then he'll come home most days and make us all lunch, and then he'll come home and we'll take turns with the baby and making dinner.

He also does most of the dishes, and and taking the trash out.

I homeschool our kids, so usually right when he gets home from work he'll take everyone out to the park when he gets home so I can get 15-20 min of quiet.  We have 5 kids.

I do not feel guilty at all.  I may not be OUT at a job but I'm still working all day.  All of us pitch in on the cleaning, because we all live here we should all keep it clean.  I also don't feel guilty having him help because there are 12 month periods of time I did everything all by myself, so nope, he can help while he's here.  It'll be too soon before he's gone and I'll be doing it all by myself again. 

MotoStar
by on Sep. 17, 2013 at 9:50 AM

My husband also works full-time. I am a SAHM. I also homeschool. I have a 7 yr old and a 2 yr old.

I am very lucky because my husband helps out whenever he can. If I have a honey do list for him, he gets it done. He tries to let me sleep in on the weekends. (Doesn't work because I feel like the whole day is thrown off if I sleep in.)

I have a very good man and he is an amazing father. He truly is my best friend and partner!

mysweet1s
by Member on Sep. 17, 2013 at 10:00 AM

My Dh has a very demanding job.  I work 2 days per week.  Our kids are 13, 10, and 3.  Honestly, I handle most of the day to day stuff - cooking, cleaning, laundry, running the kids, homework, etc.  BUT - he coaches our kids in almost everything they play. He also handles all of the outside stuff (which is condiderable - we live on 10 acres.)  He is never laying around unless we are laying around together.   

Raeann11
by Silver Member on Sep. 17, 2013 at 11:23 AM

Hubby helps me out when I need it and lots of times I don't even have to ask.

emarin77
by Bronze Member on Sep. 17, 2013 at 1:11 PM

I have Spastic Paraplegia.  It causes stiffness and weakness of my muscles.  My husband is the main cook where he can hold a pot of water with food.  He also vacuums the main floors of the house.  My son who is 5 helps me in the bathroom pulling down my pants or pulling my legs off the bed to get up.

I clean the house that uses only my hands; dishes, counter, table, wash/dryer, etc.

I have a disorder but I do what I can to help my family.  I work out my arms/hands every other day to keep the strength that I do have.  I also need to use a power chair to be mobile.  I walk with a walker for exercise with my husband.

bizkit_fanky
by Gold Member on Sep. 17, 2013 at 3:14 PM

Lots...He works 6 days a week for dd and I....

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