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What would you do?

Posted by on Sep. 25, 2013 at 1:59 PM
  • 18 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Rekindle a relationship?

Options:

Yes

Maybe, I'll explain

No


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Total Votes: 25

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Your parents divorced when you were young. Your father wasn't active in your life but claims your mother kept him out. Would you try to have a relationship with him as an adult? You also have siblings that will not give him the time of day and will be very upset should you choose to have a relationship with father. What would you do? 

by on Sep. 25, 2013 at 1:59 PM
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Replies (1-10):
offrdngal
by Gold Member on Sep. 25, 2013 at 2:14 PM
I would talk to him and figure out what the truth is and then go from there. If yoh feel he is being honest and you want a relationship with him, then don't worry about what your sisters say. They do not run your life. If they don't want anything to do with him, it's their choice. This is your choice.

energygirl
by on Sep. 25, 2013 at 2:22 PM
1 mom liked this

depends if your mother really did block him out.  Also, if he has regrets about not being in your life...a fresh start (and forigiveness if he is sorry) could mean a good relationship now, and a grandfather for your kids.  I would talk and find out his motives etc.  Overall I don't think your siblings decisions or thoughts should have an impact...

Tckosdk.2012
by Bronze Member on Sep. 25, 2013 at 3:43 PM

I would give it a shot.

storkradio193
by Silver Member on Sep. 25, 2013 at 5:02 PM

I would maybe talk with my biological father and then go from there.  

bettysmurf88
by on Sep. 25, 2013 at 9:37 PM

 My mom had nothing to do with me nor did she try till I was a grown adult. I regained contact with her a couple years ago and it is wayyyyy to late for her to be my mom now but i try to stay open to having her as a friend.

SallyB_LMT
by Bronze Member on Sep. 25, 2013 at 10:11 PM

Why don't your siblings want you to have a relationship with him?  Why did your mother divorce him in the first place?  If there is abuse involved I would leave sleeping dogs lie.  You have got along just fine without him for this long.  What are you looking for from the relationship?  Do you feel like you missed out on that relationship?  Do you think it's going to be somehow different now that you are an adult?

LuLu_Mama35
by on Sep. 26, 2013 at 7:40 AM
I would give him a chance.
jakesmom323
by on Sep. 26, 2013 at 7:47 AM
My parents divorced and he is not a good person. All about appearance, materialistic, and shallow. Having a family was just jot the cool thing to do. He has always been so cruel to me out of the 3 daughters. I was the loser and embaressment. I have my AA not a BA and MBA. I worked in management but wasn't worth telling anyone about me untill I married into $ and had children. He tries to make efforts now and says Church has changed him. But you don't forget. I'm polite but keep it to a minimum and my sisters do too. After everything he has done, how sm I the one with guilt?? Lol Follow your heart
.Peaches.
by Bronze Member on Sep. 26, 2013 at 7:51 AM

I would make the choice for myself whether or not to have a relationship with him- my siblings made their choice, and they don't get to choose for me. I'd probably talk with both him and my mother to try and get an idea of what happened and why.

Some men will claim the mother did not allow them to have contact with their child, but I'm of the mind that if a man REALLY wanted to have a relationship with that child, then come hell or high water, he'd fight with everything he's got. That, and if the mother did in fact keep them apart, maybe there was a good reason for it.

SylviaNCali
by Member on Sep. 26, 2013 at 12:34 PM

I'd really want to know who is telling the truth. I'd want to know if my father was just making excuses as to why he was a crappy father. If he wasn't a good father him just admitting it and saying sorry would be good enough reason to start a relationship but you need to try to make sure he's being truthful first. And try to make sure to still try to keep you relationship with your siblings in good standings. If they love you they will be upset but will get over it in time depending on what you find out and if you're going back to a guy who did nothing wrong.

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