See what CafeMoms are saying about saving time this holiday season..
At what point do you say enough is enough and cut off a part of your family?
Our oldest had his bar mitzvah last Saturday. My MIL had promised for months that she would be there, she knew how important it was to him. We even offered multiple times to drive out and pick her up and bring her home again (she lives 3 hours away). She insisted she'd get here herself (with my FIL and BIL). Even with an invite and numerous reminders the service was at 9:30am, I still had to correct her the day before when she thought it was at 2:30pm (what???).
Well my BIL has been trying to get out of coming for weeks but he ended up starting a stupid fight with my husband 2 days before and said he wasn't coming. Fine. We don't need a downer on my son's special day.
My MIL still insisted she was coming... up until the wee hours Saturday morning (my FIL "forgot" to ask off early for Friday so they could drive down the night before). She texted at 6:30am that she fell down the stairs and wasn't coming (usually I don't open texts once Shabbat starts but I wanted to make sure she hadn't been in an accident or something).
This has been her thing for the past 3 years. She'll promise she's coming to visit or come for a holiday or special occasion, then she backs out at the last minute... And we are left trying to console the kids and pass along her excuses. Then, we find out later that the accident or injury or illness that prevented her visit was made up, she just didn't want to come.
Well, I thought our son was doing ok (after a good cry and a long talk on Sunday about why his grandma didn't come to this very special day), but it's starting again. He's so upset. Now he's upset because she hasn't even called to apologize or wish him congratulations or anything.
At this point our stance is to protect our son from her excuses and lies. My husband is ready to completely cut ties with the whole lot of them. I keep hoping she'll call to apologize to my son but at this point she's made it all a game... She won't be the first to call, she thinks she did nothing wrong in hurting the feelings of a 13 year old child.
(There's more that's been going on too, she's been posting a bunch of "pity party for me" garbage on Facebook and my BIL has been even worse... but we aren't telling our son any of that)
What would you do? I hate cutting off the only grandparents my kids have left but the lies and broken promises are too painful for them. I never thought I'd have to protect my kids from their own grandmother and uncle.