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30 Something Moms 30 Something Moms

what would u do?

Posted by on Dec. 9, 2013 at 12:52 AM
  • 29 Replies
So I am new to this but I really need someones advice. I have been married for almost 11 yrs we have a 6 yr old little girl and just found out I am pregnant. My husband has been abusive these last few yrs but I thought for sure it would slow down or maybe even stop when he found out I am pregnant with the child that he has begged for forever. But no. I found out last week and it is now a week later and he told me he hates me, the baby is evil like me and called me fat which I am It is hard for someone to understand if they are not in the place that I am.
by on Dec. 9, 2013 at 12:52 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MixedCooke
by Silver Member on Dec. 9, 2013 at 1:01 AM

Look at it this way, are you going to keep getting pregnant to get him to stop abusing you?? You have a daughter already, so do you want her to grow up thinking that its okay for a man to treat a woman that way? I would hope that the answer to these questions are no and that you realize that you and your daughter deserve better than that.

shelbeysmom13
by on Dec. 9, 2013 at 1:15 AM

I did not plan this pregnancy. I am 31 and didn't plan to have another child. I am smart enough to know that bringina a child into the world is not going to change it. Wasnt planned at all.

Knightquester
by Silver Member on Dec. 9, 2013 at 1:16 AM
3 moms liked this

Leave, leave for your daughter and this unborn child's sake if you won't leave for your own.  I was raised by a single mother who left my abusive father when I was young.  While I'm sure it was no easy decision she had to have made I am and have always been so proud and grateful to her for making that hard decision for us.  What your husband is like, is what your child will mirror if you stay with him .  It's what your child will think is acceptable to not only be like, but also to marry when she gets older.  YOU CAN DO BETTER, trust me it may be hard to realize that now but there are far more better fish in the sea that will appreciate you for you who are.

Weight is a confidence and control thing, that much is something you need to realize, and if he's using it against you he's trying to keep your confidence down to keep you from being wise enough to leave.  I have two different heavy weight friends that had to finally realize they were better than the man they were with.  After leaving they started to regain their life, and confidence they each did finally meet a man that is good to them and their children.  Their being heavy never stopped them from finding happiness after leaving their exes.  Life shouldn't be about being with somebody that makes you miserable; life is just too short to spend it miserable too.

I'm sorry you're going through an abusive relationship, but there are programs out there for you and your children.  Try to be strong and find yourself again, you deserve happiness.

shelbeysmom13
by on Dec. 9, 2013 at 1:26 AM
I meant to say I am no where near fat. I am not fat.
diaperstodating
by Angel on Dec. 9, 2013 at 2:02 AM
Leave
mumsy2three
by Shauna on Dec. 9, 2013 at 7:19 AM

I'd leave.

Marz31
by Silver Member on Dec. 9, 2013 at 10:54 AM
2 moms liked this

1-800-799-7233 thehotline.org GET OUT NOW!

godsgirl26
by ♥Charmaine♥ on Dec. 9, 2013 at 10:54 AM

Thats horrible.

saltlifemama
by on Dec. 9, 2013 at 11:04 AM
2 moms liked this

Take it from someone that came out of an abusive relationship nothing makes it get better. Oh there will be weeks and sometime a month here and there of calm. However something will set him off and it will turn bad. You can not fix this becuase its not your fault. My ex and i had one baby and I tried and hoped it would get better but it didnt. Then I got pregant with our second which was completely unplanned. Things then got even worse. He spread lies about the baby not being his and well it was really really bad.

Please believe me when I tell you that you can not fix this. You need to start thinking about life beyound him. Start building your support system and put a plan into place. You may not want to leave him now or feel like you can. However down the road you most likely have to. That when will be up to you. Only you can decide that but please do not just say  you can't with out even trying to.

I never thought  could get out either but I managed to. It wasn't easy and with out people helping me I never could have. Start finding those people. Also if you ever need talk just pm me. I really do understand.

shymom835
by Member on Dec. 9, 2013 at 11:06 AM
1 mom liked this

hello shelbysmom13,

Your not alone this world girl.

I can remember when i was pregnant with my daughter who is now 18months old now,however her dad had become disrecpectful but rude. we had fights and disputes. Letme tell you i told him to pack his SHIT and get the F*** out my house. Ever since we have not seen eye to eye because i'm no JOKE when it comes to rudness and disrespect.

Being pregnant is beautiful.

you are beautiful.

Don't let your husband disrespect you in any shape or form.

This mentally,physical,emotional abuse.

GOD BLESS

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