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Help:Boys, Sex, and Parent issue

Posted by on Dec. 15, 2013 at 7:45 PM
  • 135 Replies

Last night my oldest asked to have a friend spend the night. His friend who I will just call HL has come over many times in the past. Never have we had any type of issue with him. He is a little on hyper side but he is very respectful.

Well everything was fine when dh and I decided to head to bed last night. We told the boys that they could finish watching their movie on Netflix and then head to bed. I was exhaust and fell right to sleep. Our door was open so dh could keep an eye on them. Well this morning they went with my mom for a bit. My mother over hears them talking about sex and the movies they watched. Now let me stop and tell you my boys have kid profiles on Netflix so nothing above pg could be watched. However my mother was concerned and called me to let me know. Dh and i then went on our netflix and realized that they logged into my account and watched some very very explict homosexual movies on there. I was livid. We have had netflix for 5years and never have my boys ever did such a thing. We then picked up HL and took him home. We told his parents with out pointing any fingers what had happened. They proceeded to tell us that HL wouldn't even know the word sex. Well I being very calm said that is fine we will be punishing our boys and you can handle it on your end however you would like.

We have since sat done with both our boys who are 9 and 7. According to them HL typed in boy sex and picked the movies. They never watched more then 5mins of any of them. He told them that him and another boy like to have boy on boy sex and touch each other in private places. He also said he had the other boy's sister kiss him on his penis and play with his penis. My ds said that HL and another boy talk about having, in their words "boy on boy" sex all the time at school.

Both of my boys have been punished and lost all access to anything electronic. They also are not allowed to have company over for a while. I truly believe that they didn't do the searching but they also didn't tell the other boy no. They didn't come to us or let us know. When asked they both said they knew what HL was doing was wrong. However he told them he wouldn't be friends with them if they told on him.

Now here is what I am not sure about. Do I go to the other parents of all the boys involved and tell them what the boys are doing? Honestly I know all the parents pretty well and i doubt they will believe me if I did. HL's parents are the most responsible but they have no idea what their son is doing. They are both in their late 50s and not really raising him. The other two kids parents are both in the middle of seperations or divorces and could care less what the boys are doing as long as they are not under foot. I am angry, frustrated and just upset about the whole sitution. What can I or what should I do?

by on Dec. 15, 2013 at 7:45 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Pnukey
by on Dec. 15, 2013 at 8:07 PM
24 moms liked this

I would inform all the parents about what happened, in a matter of fact way, just stating what happened, not pointing fingers. What they do with the info is on them. I would want to know.

KylesMom409
by Linnette on Dec. 15, 2013 at 8:30 PM
Quoting Pnukey:

I would inform all the parents about what happened, in a matter of fact way, just stating what happened, not pointing fingers. What they do with the info is on them. I would want to know.


I agree.
MommaVoo
by on Dec. 15, 2013 at 9:47 PM
2 moms liked this

I agree as well.. sticky situation no matter what way you look at it.

I do think you did the right thing with your boys.

Quoting Pnukey:

I would inform all the parents about what happened, in a matter of fact way, just stating what happened, not pointing fingers. What they do with the info is on them. I would want to know.


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Raindelay
by on Dec. 15, 2013 at 9:58 PM
3 moms liked this
Definitely. I agree. Some parents just don't want to believe anything bad about their kids but they need to know.

Quoting Pnukey:

I would inform all the parents about what happened, in a matter of fact way, just stating what happened, not pointing fingers. What they do with the info is on them. I would want to know.

diaperstodating
by Angel on Dec. 15, 2013 at 9:59 PM
I also agree.

Quoting Pnukey:

I would inform all the parents about what happened, in a matter of fact way, just stating what happened, not pointing fingers. What they do with the info is on them. I would want to know.

3sun1Angelgrl
by on Dec. 15, 2013 at 10:07 PM
Quoting Pnukey:

I would inform all the parents about what happened, in a matter of fact way, just stating what happened, not pointing fingers. What they do with the info is on them. I would want to know.


This
Raine_Dance
by on Dec. 16, 2013 at 11:32 AM
1 mom liked this
Tell all of them. Also, you slipped and used the kids real name. Good luck.
MommyTo5Boys
by Member on Dec. 16, 2013 at 11:41 AM
1 mom liked this

Tell them, there may even be legal consequences for you down the road if you know about it and don't tell and something bad happens :(

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shiningjoy
by on Dec. 16, 2013 at 11:44 AM
3 moms liked this

I would inform the parents.  Maybe even talk to the school about it without mentioning names.  Just say your boys over heard other kids talking and you want to make the school aware of it. Just in case it is happening at school in the bathroom or locker rooms.  I would just be worried that they could catch someting at an early age.  

baquick
by on Dec. 16, 2013 at 11:51 AM
I agree.

Btw- this post is featured, so hopefully you will get some really good advice.
Best of luck.


Quoting Pnukey:

I would inform all the parents about what happened, in a matter of fact way, just stating what happened, not pointing fingers. What they do with the info is on them. I would want to know.

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