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Need to vent... Advice surely welcomed.

Posted by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 7:40 PM
  • 16 Replies

My ex-husband is supposed to have our two daughters for the rest of the christmas break. He is suppose to keep them from the 28th to the 6th of jan. He never said anything to me about not keeping them until yesterday the 29th. I drove down to my sisters house 4 hours away from where they/he lives yesterday morning to spend the week with her and family. I got a call last night from him around 5pm telling me that I am to meet him at 6 to pick up the children because he couldnt take them until the 6th because he has to work. I told him I wasnt in town and that I wasnt going to be back until the 3rd and that he needed to get a babysitter then and that I have a babysitter when they are with me and he needed to figure it out. He got angry and said that if I do not meet him at 6 he was going to show up at my doorstep with the police (which is funny because I am 4 hours away at my sisters house.)  because I do not want my children, yet I have custody of them and that they are fully my responsibility, and not his. He also said that the divorce decree says he only has to pay child support, not keep the children during his visitation times. Anyway, I told him again I was not there and would not be until the 3rd and to figure it out himself, then i hung up on him. He called me back 3 times in an hour and left nasty messages on my voicemail saying that I was a bitch and blah blah blah... So I called the police to make sure he couldn't get me in trouble for not picking up the children at 6pm and the police sergent said that there was nothing he could do to me because its in the divorce papers that he is to keep the children until the 6th and that as long as I am following the divorce decree I am not in contempt. Shortly after I got off the phone with the sergent, I got a call from a number I didnt recognized and thought it might have been the police so i answered it. Turns out it was my ex-husbands girlfriend, who I had never spoken to or met, telling me that I better come get my children now, and that they were my responsibility, not thiers, and I started to tell her I already spoke to the police and as long as I was following the divorce decree, and she cuts me off there and says that they don't care about what the hell the divorce decree says, and that I need to get my ass back to town and get my kids. She also said that I take all they make because of child support (which the child support is directly taken out of HIS paycheck and I do not have control over that.) I should mention they just moved in together last weekend...  and that my ex has the right to visitation with the children the 1st, 3rd, and 5th weekend of every month as well as every thursday, but he does not take them that often, he only gets them the 1st and 3rd weekend of ever month which is 4 days out of a month. Anyway, after taking all the yelling form her that I could, I finally told her, look I don't know you, I've never met you. And what happens with my children between my ex husband and I is none of your business. and she started screaming at me saying that they are her business because shes the one taking care of them the 4 days out of the month he gets them. and that they are a united front and THEY make all the dicisions when it comes to what goes on in my house, their house and the children, and that I need to respect that. After she said that I said you dont have control over me or my children, get over it and i hung up on her. Now, I don't ever say I hate anyone, but they would be the closest I have ever been to hating people... Done venting.

by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 7:40 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Dabberdoo
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 7:44 PM
4 moms liked this

Wow.  Please go get your children.  I know you don't legally HAVE to but there is no way in hades I would leave those poor children in his care and her care when they are so obviously unwanted.  I know it isn't fair and its seriously sad that your exhusband doesn't WANT them but please, go get your kids and I would call my lawyer about his visitation.  

HeathersRich
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 7:53 PM
This exactly!

Quoting Dabberdoo:

Wow.  Please go get your children.  I know you don't legally HAVE to but there is no way in hades I would leave those poor children in his care and her care when they are so obviously unwanted.  I know it isn't fair and its seriously sad that your exhusband doesn't WANT them but please, go get your kids and I would call my lawyer about his visitation.  

offrdngal
by Gold Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 8:09 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree. I know it's an inconvenience for you, because you are so far away, but those poor kids are going to suffer. The broad overstepped her bounds...big time.
Quoting Dabberdoo:

Wow.  Please go get your children.  I know you don't legally HAVE to but there is no way in hades I would leave those poor children in his care and her care when they are so obviously unwanted.  I know it isn't fair and its seriously sad that your exhusband doesn't WANT them but please, go get your kids and I would call my lawyer about his visitation.  

iamtryingforme
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 8:14 PM

I can totally understand your view. My ex would call all the time and cancel. He took our DD to his convenience. I am torn between to tell you to go home & get them (that means he wins) or make him figure out arrangements. How old are your kids? Keep track of everything. Save the voice mails. Good luck with everything and happy new year.  

Dabberdoo
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 8:29 PM
1 mom liked this

No one wins.  Only her children lose.

Quoting iamtryingforme:

I can totally understand your view. My ex would call all the time and cancel. He took our DD to his convenience. I am torn between to tell you to go home & get them (that means he wins) or make him figure out arrangements. How old are your kids? Keep track of everything. Save the voice mails. Good luck with everything and happy new year.  


momofthem311
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 8:30 PM
Some people have no idea what it means to be a parent, not you, him! And his bitch girlfriend needs to mind herself!
I feel like the other ladies, I would be torn between being worried about them being with hateful people, and holding my ground and not letting him win. I'm so sorry mama you are dealing with this. I'd say go with your gut. Hope everything turns out ok.
mjimaging
by Melissa on Dec. 30, 2013 at 8:42 PM
That's tough. I think I'd get my kids.
trulyblessed618
by Bronze Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 8:53 PM
2 moms liked this
What was the reason for your ex changing plans? I think you should get the kids...I don't like the sound of the girlfriend and would not trust her with my kids...she could be crazy. .you just never know.
KylesMom409
by Linnette on Dec. 30, 2013 at 8:54 PM

 This.  Please keep us posted.

Quoting momofthem311: Some people have no idea what it means to be a parent, not you, him! And his bitch girlfriend needs to mind herself!
I feel like the other ladies, I would be torn between being worried about them being with hateful people, and holding my ground and not letting him win. I'm so sorry mama you are dealing with this. I'd say go with your gut. Hope everything turns out ok.

 

saltlifemama
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 10:43 PM

I totally understand your POV here but I honestly wouldn't want my kids in his house. I would go get them.

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