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Dad getting to know baby

Posted by on Mar. 9, 2014 at 5:52 PM
  • 25 Replies
How long do you let your baby cry before stepping in when your SO is handling the baby?
We are both first timers. I am lucky enough to be able to stay home with the little man so I've picked up on a lot of his ques and such much faster.
I don't want my SO to think I'm bossing him around or constantly telling him how to do everything. I know there is always more than one right way to do things. Ive been trying to give him time to figure out how to get the baby dressed, when to burp him, how to sooth him etc. But I also don't like to hear my little man cry when I could step in and calm him down in seconds.

Any advice? I offered to leave the little guy with him while I went out shopping and he looked like a deer in headlights lol
by on Mar. 9, 2014 at 5:52 PM
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Replies (1-10):
clairewait
by Bronze Member on Mar. 9, 2014 at 5:56 PM
1 mom liked this

Truly, this wasn't one we had major issues with. We were both pretty awkward with our first baby as well, and she was colicky AND had reflux.

In short: the kid cried ALL THE TIME for like 7 straight weeks. It was hard.

I didn't really "step in." He'd give her to me when he gave up. :) Or, if she needed to be nursed.

The thing that helped the most was leaving him alone with her. I mean, that's how I figured it out too... you get into a better groove when you know that no one is watching over your shoulder.

He was in school full time then, and I was working full time, so we had lots of family time, but we really tried to give each other a good chunk of the weekend alone with the baby, and it was magical for both of us.

AND - it has translated to now, 7 years and 3 kids later. I'm a SAHM and he still gives me almost the entire Saturday off of kid duty. We call it "Dadderday" and it is everyone's favorite day of the week (except maybe his, haha). So keep that one in your back pocket. 

mjimaging
by Melissa on Mar. 9, 2014 at 6:06 PM
I just gave him tools (the moby wrap, bouncing) to help calm him but DS was nursing almost all the time so DH really had his moments when I was at work. I'd come home to both of them sacked out in the chair.
esox
by Bronze Member on Mar. 9, 2014 at 6:58 PM
That's another thing, I really want to ebf, but we had to supplement for a little while. It took 11 days for my milk to come in :( Now if my SO can't get Hayden to stop crying within seconds he claims the baby is starving, even if he has just finished eating.
His solution is always to want to shove bottle of formula in Hayden's mouth :/


Quoting mjimaging: I just gave him tools (the moby wrap, bouncing) to help calm him but DS was nursing almost all the time so DH really had his moments when I was at work. I'd come home to both of them sacked out in the chair.
esox
by Bronze Member on Mar. 9, 2014 at 7:00 PM
Love the Dadderday idea! I think I'll just sneak off next one day next weekend so he can't guilt trip me into staying home to help him lol

Quoting clairewait:

Truly, this wasn't one we had major issues with. We were both pretty awkward with our first baby as well, and she was colicky AND had reflux.

In short: the kid cried ALL THE TIME for like 7 straight weeks. It was hard.

I didn't really "step in." He'd give her to me when he gave up. :) Or, if she needed to be nursed.

The thing that helped the most was leaving him alone with her. I mean, that's how I figured it out too... you get into a better groove when you know that no one is watching over your shoulder.

He was in school full time then, and I was working full time, so we had lots of family time, but we really tried to give each other a good chunk of the weekend alone with the baby, and it was magical for both of us.

AND - it has translated to now, 7 years and 3 kids later. I'm a SAHM and he still gives me almost the entire Saturday off of kid duty. We call it "Dadderday" and it is everyone's favorite day of the week (except maybe his, haha). So keep that one in your back pocket. 

Lorena
by on Mar. 9, 2014 at 7:00 PM
I didn't. I had to learn and so did he. If I stepped in he would have never found his grove with the kids.
esox
by Bronze Member on Mar. 9, 2014 at 7:05 PM
I wish that were possible. Yesterday he handed me the baby zipped up in a sleeper without his arms or legs in the holes. He was just all balled up in the body of the sleeper because my SO couldn't figure out how to get his hands through the arm holes "without breaking him." Haha

Quoting Lorena: I didn't. I had to learn and so did he. If I stepped in he would have never found his grove with the kids.
Lorena
by on Mar. 9, 2014 at 7:12 PM
Lol I remember those days!

Quoting esox: I wish that were possible. Yesterday he handed me the baby zipped up in a sleeper without his arms or legs in the holes. He was just all balled up in the body of the sleeper because my SO couldn't figure out how to get his hands through the arm holes "without breaking him." Haha

Quoting Lorena: I didn't. I had to learn and so did he. If I stepped in he would have never found his grove with the kids.
mjimaging
by Melissa on Mar. 9, 2014 at 7:14 PM
If he thinks baby is starving, take baby back and nurse. If you've been supplementing then you likely need to build that supply back up. Every time baby gets a bottle, you miss the order for milk your body needs to make.

Quoting esox: That's another thing, I really want to ebf, but we had to supplement for a little while. It took 11 days for my milk to come in :( Now if my SO can't get Hayden to stop crying within seconds he claims the baby is starving, even if he has just finished eating.
His solution is always to want to shove bottle of formula in Hayden's mouth :/


Quoting mjimaging: I just gave him tools (the moby wrap, bouncing) to help calm him but DS was nursing almost all the time so DH really had his moments when I was at work. I'd come home to both of them sacked out in the chair.
esox
by Bronze Member on Mar. 9, 2014 at 7:17 PM
When we supplemented I would nurse on both sides until he let go on his own, the. he would get a bottle afterwards. He goes back to the doctor for a weight check tomorrow. Hopefully that will make my SO quiet down a bit about having a starving baby.

Quoting mjimaging: If he thinks baby is starving, take baby back and nurse. If you've been supplementing then you likely need to build that supply back up. Every time baby gets a bottle, you miss the order for milk your body needs to make.

Quoting esox: That's another thing, I really want to ebf, but we had to supplement for a little while. It took 11 days for my milk to come in :( Now if my SO can't get Hayden to stop crying within seconds he claims the baby is starving, even if he has just finished eating.
His solution is always to want to shove bottle of formula in Hayden's mouth :/


Quoting mjimaging: I just gave him tools (the moby wrap, bouncing) to help calm him but DS was nursing almost all the time so DH really had his moments when I was at work. I'd come home to both of them sacked out in the chair.
mjimaging
by Melissa on Mar. 9, 2014 at 7:18 PM
If he let go, he was likely full. Hopefully the visit goes well at the docs.

Quoting esox: When we supplemented I would nurse on both sides until he let go on his own, the. he would get a bottle afterwards. He goes back to the doctor for a weight check tomorrow. Hopefully that will make my SO quiet down a bit about having a starving baby.

Quoting mjimaging: If he thinks baby is starving, take baby back and nurse. If you've been supplementing then you likely need to build that supply back up. Every time baby gets a bottle, you miss the order for milk your body needs to make.

Quoting esox: That's another thing, I really want to ebf, but we had to supplement for a little while. It took 11 days for my milk to come in :( Now if my SO can't get Hayden to stop crying within seconds he claims the baby is starving, even if he has just finished eating.
His solution is always to want to shove bottle of formula in Hayden's mouth :/


Quoting mjimaging: I just gave him tools (the moby wrap, bouncing) to help calm him but DS was nursing almost all the time so DH really had his moments when I was at work. I'd come home to both of them sacked out in the chair.
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