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Babysitting Issues-What would you do?

Posted by on Apr. 18, 2014 at 11:34 PM
  • 10 Replies

I was asked to babysit my friends two girls ages 11 and 9 today and for overnight into tomorrow morning. The day goes fine. They don't go to bed as early as my kids so I let them all stay up till 10 which is late for me and my kids. At a little past ten I start getting ready for bed and the girls come to me saying (mainly the older girl) they want to go home. Older girl is homesick, and can't sleep and doesn't feel good. They ask me to text their mom who wasn't going to be home till around 11pm from work. So I told them I would but it was late and they really shouldn't insist she come the 15 min to my house from their house. Of course my friend had just gotten home and when she found out her girl wanted to come home just says ok, I'm on my way. This seriously irritated me and I'm not sure if it should or if I'm just being an uncompassionate person. But if my kids at that age spend the night somewhere, unless something is very wrong, I do NOT pick them up. This is the 3rd time this has happened where they were supposed to stay over and it gets late at night and they won't go to bed and I have to call their mother (who puts up with it instead of putting her foot down) and she comes and picks them up. I tried to explain that their mom is likely very tired and they shouldn't ask her to come and get them that late at night but they do not care. As well, there are times when we are all eating that the older girl will take food off my kids plates and take a bite and put it back!!!! Is that normal? Cause in my house you do not do that. What would you do? I'm not sure if I should say they can't have sleepovers until they are ready to stay the entire night (It's 11:30 and they are just now leaving) or what. But this is a very very late night for me as I'm normally in bed by 9:30.

by on Apr. 18, 2014 at 11:34 PM
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Replies (1-10):
snowangel1979
by Bronze Member on Apr. 18, 2014 at 11:40 PM
1 mom liked this
I would probably tell her they can't spend the night until they're ready. At least then if you do watch them you can plan on then leaving at 11:30 and maybe just have them have quite time on the couch until mom comes..
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countrymomma81
by Platinum Member on Apr. 18, 2014 at 11:47 PM
1 mom liked this

The food thing would drive me nuts. As for the not wanting to sleep there, well, some kids just aren't comfortable being away from home. I'd tell her that next time she asks. If she needs a sitter, fine, but make it known that the girls can't spend the night since it disrupts your schedule. 

ambergem
by on Apr. 18, 2014 at 11:59 PM
I had this happen myself when I was younger. My mom came and got me twice. I would have been so miserable and sad if she hadn't. Just a gut wrenching feeling. (Besides, how would you know if something is terribly wrong with your own kids? Some things you don't want to say over the phone or in present company.)

But I would not allow them to come back over. Definitely not after 3 tries. Say I'm sorry, it just disrupts our schedule too much. You're doing what's best for your family. Nothing wrong with that.

The food thing is def not normal, and say "we don't do that" in the moment and explain neither wants to swap germs, them or your kids.
TAG9lbs
by Bronze Member on Apr. 19, 2014 at 12:20 AM
The food thing should get nipped in the bud. "Your house your rules" end of discussion.

I would also end the sleep over thing. I like the idea snowangel1979 recommending putting your kids to bed at 9 and letting them have quiet time on the couch until mom comes to get them.
nymomma3
by Member on Apr. 19, 2014 at 7:08 AM

Ok thanks for the advice. I just find it odd that a nearly 12 year old can't spend the night yet when she is the one who begs to spend the night.  If it was her first time and even the second I could understand, but 3 times in a row...I don't know, as long as I knew something major wasn't wrong I'd say toughen up and deal with and I'll be there first thing in the morning. It is inconsiderate of her hard working momma who just got off of work at 11 pm to have her come and get her when she was probably about to jump in bed.

nymomma3
by Member on Apr. 19, 2014 at 7:10 AM

And the food thing I didn't see yesterday cause if I had I would have told her not to do that.  However me and my friend and her mother and sister went to breakfast one day at a diner and she took my friends food off his plate and was putting things in his drink and kicking him in shins under the table. She was very obnoxious and rude. Drives me crazy, but I don't feel like I can say anything.

clairewait
by Bronze Member on Apr. 19, 2014 at 12:02 PM

I also would not have allowed this to happen if the kids were not ready to come into my house and follow my rules.

It is YOUR house. It isn't going to be the same as theirs, but it is only one night. For me, this would mean they go to bed when my kids go to bed. They eat what all of us eat. They follow the same expecations I have for my own kids.

I mean. It is over now so live and learn, but in the future, I'd establish some expectations first and be firm about them. I think where you went wrong was attempting to let them control things.

mjimaging
by Melissa on Apr. 19, 2014 at 12:07 PM
I would have likely told her to buck up but I'm not one for sleepovers anyway. My kids have had sleep overs elsewhere and wouldn't dream of calling to get picked up. Regardless of what other kids bedtimes are, if they are at my house, they follow my kids bedtimes. Now that DD is much older her and her friends will stay up a little later then us but DS is still in bed on time regardless. The food thing would definitely not happen. My kids would likely tell her off on their own. They don't like sharing off their plates.
nymomma3
by Member on Apr. 19, 2014 at 2:57 PM

Well my son was furious when she did that, and like I said I didn't know about it until later when the situation was long past over. I was not allowing them to control the situation as far as bedtime routine this time, they had to go to bed when I had the others go to bed and they ate the same food. I was worried that if I just said nothing to their mother and made them stay that I would have issues with their mom and I don't want any problems between us. However, that being said, the girls won't be "sleeping over" any more. The worst part is, is that she doesn't tell them to cope with it and runs over at every little whim they have.

KylesMom409
by Linnette on Apr. 20, 2014 at 10:08 AM
Quoting countrymomma81:

The food thing would drive me nuts. As for the not wanting to sleep there, well, some kids just aren't comfortable being away from home. I'd tell her that next time she asks. If she needs a sitter, fine, but make it known that the girls can't spend the night since it disrupts your schedule. 


This.
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