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Troubled

Posted by on Jun. 4, 2014 at 10:22 PM
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I am having a hard time deciding about staying with my husband. I just got out of a week and a half in the psych unit at the hospital because of stress mainly because of him but other reasons as well because I cut myself. I love him to death but I can only handle so much with my major depression disorder. He constantly says I'm sorry for the exact same thing over and over, yet he say it won't happen again. I ask him how many times do I have to accept the answer I'm sorry from him before I finally say I'm done with him. He doesn't help me out around the house. He doesn't want to try to help himself by eating healthier to take care of himself and lose weight. He gets mad at me when I don't talk to him about my emotions but when I try to talk to him about my emotions he gets mad. He gets mad at me no matter what I try to say to him in a calm voice. We are constantly arguing no matter what it's about. I've wanted to move to Missouri because I don't have any family here in Iowa. All my family lives in Missouri. All his family lives in Iowa so he won't leave Iowa no matter what, even if I did want to be closer to my family. I need suggestions on what to do.
by on Jun. 4, 2014 at 10:22 PM
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Replies (1-10):
LivinDeadGurl
by Maranda on Jun. 4, 2014 at 10:39 PM
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That is a tough one hon. I really don't know what to say.

Amanda1129
by Member on Jun. 4, 2014 at 11:19 PM

BUMP!

Amanda1129
by Member on Jun. 4, 2014 at 11:25 PM
Thanks livindeadgurl
christina122952
by on Jun. 4, 2014 at 11:46 PM
You have to do what is right.
countrymomma81
by Platinum Member on Jun. 5, 2014 at 12:11 AM
4 moms liked this

Maybe instead of deciding right away you should go spend some time with your family in Missouri and sort out your feelings. Sometimes love just isn't enough if there is nothing else there, such as respect which he doesn't seem to have. 

It sounds as if you may be able to use a break anyhow. Good luck!

Amanda1129
by Member on Jun. 5, 2014 at 12:27 AM
I have a family reunion next weekend, I need to figure out money issue to get there and back. I don't have enough money to get there. Thanks. He is the main reason I did what I did to end up in the hospital in the first place and he only came and seen mr twice while I was up there in the whole week and a half I was there because he went swimming instead of coming up to see me.
Amanda1129
by Member on Jun. 5, 2014 at 12:34 AM
I'm trying chris, but it's hard. I'm just about done with all of the crap he has put me through the last three years. We have been married 6 1/2 years. The first 3 years were fine but these last three years are just not going good. He was working a few hours during lunch at a fast food place until I found a job, but once I got mine he quit and expected me to do and pay for everything.
Amanda1129
by Member on Jun. 5, 2014 at 12:39 AM
He promised me while I was in the hospital he would come up and see me. When he didn't he never even called to tell me he wasn't coming until after visiting hours were long over. I was always up at the hospital with him when he was in the hospital sick but he only came up twice the whole time I was there and never called me after he promised he'd be there. That's what makes me upset and depressed to where I do stuff to put my self in the hospital
ranchmama21
by Member on Jun. 5, 2014 at 1:43 AM
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Are you seeing a counselor?  If not, please do so. If he won't join you, at least you can still work on you. Looks like you need to tackle yourself and what you want in life first before you can even tackle the marriage part. If it takes you separating for at least 6 months, then so do. This can allow you growth and gain some confidence. With confidence can come wisdom and that can guide you into the marriage issue. I have never been in your situation, but I have seen my mom go through some tough years with her now ex husband. It isn't easy and you have some mountains to climb. I think going to your family and having support around you will help you gain the strength to deal with him, if even at that point, you might not even need to deal with him as you might have a for sure decision once you worked on yourself. Cutting and unhealthy mental habits is top priority for you to continue help with.

MixedCooke
by Silver Member on Jun. 5, 2014 at 2:46 AM

have a trial separation

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