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Dealing with your ex's new wife...

Posted by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 10:13 PM
  • 29 Replies

So my ex-husband has recently remarried and his new wife is a nightmare.  They have only been married for a little over a month and already she wants my kids to call her mom.  I am not feeling this at all.  Am I wrong for being upset at this?  He see's absolutely nothing wrong with it but I do. Anyone have any advice?confused

by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 10:13 PM
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jackiewal10
by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 10:17 PM
1 mom liked this

I have not ever been divorced, so I have no personal experience, but NO. NOPE. That would NOT be happening.  She is not their mother. They have a mom. You.  How old are your kids? If old enough, just tell them openly that they are not to call her mom, that it would hurt you, and that she isn't their mom. There is no reason for them to call her mom and honestly, the fact that your ex sees no issues with this is a problem.  You and he may no longer be married, but he still needs to respect you in the sense that you are the mother of your (his and yours) children. Being ok with his new wife wanting to be called mom is a huge slap in the face.

CadillacCutie
by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 10:17 PM
2 moms liked this
From my stand point I would be the new wife. When I got married to him there was no way in hell I wanted them to call me mom. As a matter of fact I do not prefer it at all and me and the two kids agree with that and are on a understanding. So IMO yes she is in the wrong. She is not their mother.

Quoting IluvmyJayzz:

So my ex-husband has recently remarried and his new wife is a nightmare.  They have only been married for a little over a month and already she wants my kids to call her mom.  I am not feeling this at all.  Am I wrong for being upset at this?  He see's absolutely nothing wrong with it but I do. Anyone have any advice?confused

hopeful_leslie
by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 10:23 PM
Ya that wouldnt be happening! Rather your ex is ok with it or not you need to let the new wife it wont be happening
IluvmyJayzz
by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 10:24 PM
Quoting jackiewal10:

I have not ever been divorced, so I have no personal experience, but NO. NOPE. That would NOT be happening.  She is not their mother. They have a mom. You.  How old are your kids? If old enough, just tell them openly that they are not to call her mom, that it would hurt you, and that she isn't their mom. There is no reason for them to call her mom and honestly, the fact that your ex sees no issues with this is a problem.  You and he may no longer be married, but he still needs to respect you in the sense that you are the mother of your (his and yours) children. Being ok with his new wife wanting to be called mom is a huge slap in the face.


My boys are 6 and 8 and when they come back home from their dads house I plan on sitting them down and discussing it with them.  I told my ex that it is a respect thing and he does not agree he said it is "just a title", Mom is more than a title and she doesn't deserve it.  I carried them for 9 months, I pushed them out, and I have been raising them on my own all these years.  I am still very much alive and well and my children will not call her mom if I have anything to say about it.  If I were dead or I abandoned them then I can see it but I'm not.  I struggle everyday to provide for my children and I will not let anyone step on my toes.  She can have my deadbeat ex but my children are off limits!

Kissybratzmom
by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 11:46 PM
They are definitely in the wrong! My ex is remarried and my son just calls his new wife by her name.
Owl_Feather
by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 11:50 PM

 my marriage is very rocky right now. If I ever exerienced this my heart would feel so broken. Neither of my parents remarried. I dont know how they would feel; I'm sure my mom wouldnt like me calling another woman "mom". Even I wouldnt feel comfortable calling my parent's new spouse mom or dad.

trish2tew
by Member on Jul. 24, 2014 at 7:31 AM

I would be the new wife. I have NEVER told the bonus kids to call me mom. They each have a mom, and I have 3 of my own with DH. The bonus kids call me by my first name.

That is shitty on your ex and his new wife's part.

My parents divorced when I was in high school. My mom has never remarried, but my dad has been married 2 more times. First stepmom was a nut. Didn't last crazy long, and I always called her by her name. My dad is still married to the 2nd lady, who is wonderful, even with her quirks. I call her by her first name.

The only other person I have ever called mom is my MIL after DH and I married. I can't really call her by her first name, because she and DD#1 have the same name and it could be rather confusing.

Mrs.S77
by on Jul. 24, 2014 at 11:20 PM

I was a stepmom during my first marriage. I never asked the children to call me mom. That's the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Please sit down with them and set things straight. 

Mommy2Boys0900
by Unique Yanique on Jul. 25, 2014 at 2:53 PM
1 mom liked this
I would not be ok with my boys calling any other woman, mom.
OHgirlinCA
by on Jul. 25, 2014 at 2:57 PM
2 moms liked this

 The kids should not call her Mom unless they want to.  It's not something that should be forced upon them.

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