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any sahm's in here, newly divorced?

Posted by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 11:36 PM
  • 8 Replies

 Sorry if this is personal, but where did you start? I think....dh and I are headed in that direction :( I am struggling finding a job in this no-good town. I'm scared. I promised myself I would never end up like my parents. They had a nasty divorce which traumatized me for life. My children are so young. DS has borderline aspergers, dd is only 2...this would be so difficult for them. DH would never go for counseling.

by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 11:36 PM
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Replies (1-8):
diaperstodating
by Queen25Princes on Jul. 23, 2014 at 11:42 PM
Hugs
I wasn't a stay at home mom when I separated.
diaperstodating
by Queen25Princes on Jul. 23, 2014 at 11:42 PM
Bump
mumsy2three
by Shauna on Jul. 24, 2014 at 8:17 AM

I am sorry you are going through thia. Do you both feel like divorce is your only option. You said he wouldn't do counseling but would he read a save you marriage book and do the tasks/activities suggested in them. If so I'd see what's available at your library. My husband and I went through marriage counseling years ago. Our counselor recommended a few books to read back then. I can't think of the title of the one I really liked (I can vision the cover though, ugh). If it comes to mind I will share. I've heard 7 Minute Marriage Solution is good.


Briesmom38
by Gold Member on Jul. 24, 2014 at 9:07 AM

I'm sorry for your situation...  I wasn't a stay at home when I got divorced, I'm sure it's a horrible situation to be in.

I wish you lots of luck and remember to file for child support and alimony! 


** It's 5 O'clock Somewhere **

Nicole_2007
by Bronze Member on Jul. 24, 2014 at 10:15 AM

Hugs  I went through a divorce a couple of years ago.  I was a SAHM to 2 kids at the time my X left.  I fought 2 years for my kids.  My daughter we just found out has possible High Functioning Autism and she was 4 1/2 at the tme and my sone was 1 1/2.   I never had a job because of all my daughters appointments.  I just made sure to document everything.  If you have any questions feel free to message me and I will help as much as I can

Owl_Feather
by on Jul. 24, 2014 at 11:52 AM

 DH isn't a reader. I dont feel divorce is our ony option. He and I really need to sit and talk but yesteday he made it clear that he doesnt like conversing with me.

Quoting mumsy2three:

I am sorry you are going through thia. Do you both feel like divorce is your only option. You said he wouldn't do counseling but would he read a save you marriage book and do the tasks/activities suggested in them. If so I'd see what's available at your library. My husband and I went through marriage counseling years ago. Our counselor recommended a few books to read back then. I can't think of the title of the one I really liked (I can vision the cover though, ugh). If it comes to mind I will share. I've heard 7 Minute Marriage Solution is good.

 

ausomezombie2.0
by on Jul. 24, 2014 at 11:54 AM
I'm going through a divorce now. I only work pt and he's been less then nice but it's almost over and hopefully I'll be working more in the fall...
Moxiesbuddy
by on Jul. 25, 2014 at 2:42 PM

Owl_Feather, it's good that you are identifying some problems in your relationship and even better that you want to avoid divorce. SAHMs tend to feel more vulnerable since their "work" is mostly underappreciated and they put their paying jobs on hold to raise their children. It sounds like your kiddos really need a full time parent right now, so I hope you do find a counselor even if it's just for yourself.

Your husband may feel that when you want to talk things out, that he's somehow to blame for the issues that are discussed. Instead, you could explain that you want to work WITH him to find solutions to what needs to be fixed. Guys will shut down if they're feeling disrespected, so maybe consult with a male counselor to help you see both sides of conflict resolution.  Then, if your husband remotely considers joining you, it will be a more welcoming atmosphere in his view.

Some good books that helped me understand these concepts are _Love and Respect_ and _The Way We Love_. Your marriage is worth fighting for and I pray you are both committed to creating a healthy home for your kids.

Moxiesbuddy

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