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*update* Great! For the next few days I'll be with an emotional roller coaster ride!

Posted by on Nov. 8, 2014 at 9:28 PM
  • 7 Replies
Why? Because SO's ex with whom he had a child with over 10 years ago contacted him tonight. She some how found him on fb.. ya, ya, I know. She messaged him for photos of their son, he has about 3 and I have them safely stored away (was asked to do so by SO). Why will this leave him in an emotional roller ride? Because she neglected the poor child and then left him in her younger sisters care as she says and he died. He wasn't yet 3. Long story short, she denied him everything about his son late in the pregnancy and even being recognized as the Father on birth and death certificate and demanded funeral expenses from him. She has popped up twice in one way or another in the 5yrs we have been together and I've been there for him in every way that I can. While I was reading bedtime stories to DD he said that he needed to deal with this and left. I don't know what he is going to say, but I really hope that he doesn't hand over the few photos that he has, because that's all he has ever had of his son. To lose them to her would spiral him so far down that I don't know what would happen. I wish that she would just let go and let him move on.


*update*
SO and I talked briefly last night, I let him say what he needed to say and let him take his time. The message he got was from last month, apparently her now exdh burned all of the photos she had which included the ones of the son. SO has been doing really well, especially around his sons bday and his death/funeral. Everything came rushing back so of course he said some things that were harsh. (Which I had to explain as nicely as I could that he could have done without seeing as he has said them to her before.) He even mentioned how he gave her and her family every penny he had for funeral expenses that they couldn't cover and that his son still has no grave marker. (Being that he wasn't listed as the Father, the cemetery won't allow one to be bought/placed.) They messaged a few more times and then he blocked her. He is not willing to give up the only things he has of his son and is not willing to copy them and give them to her. He battled the idea for a while, but he knows that he could not handle seeing her again and will not put me in the position of being the one to give them to her. He wants nothing to do with her at all. He understands that she has to deal with the loss of their son just as he does, but doesn't want to be give her what she wants after everything she put him through. I see his point, but at the same time the Mother in me says, mail her the damn copies and be done with it. I let him be for the rest of the night, I didn't want to push. He woke up this morning a bit better, but I could see in his eyes that he was a mess of emotions.
by on Nov. 8, 2014 at 9:28 PM
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Replies (1-7):
LivinDeadGurl
by Maranda on Nov. 8, 2014 at 9:34 PM

Oh man, I am sorry. I can't even imagine how painful this must be for him.

Garnet_Iris11
by Bronze Member on Nov. 8, 2014 at 9:40 PM
I'm waiting for him to come home and see whats what. Last time they had actually ran into each other, hadn't seen each other since the funeral. It was a bad, bad month after that. She had the nerve to bring up our child and said some down right nasty things.

Quoting LivinDeadGurl:

Oh man, I am sorry. I can't even imagine how painful this must be for him.

mjimaging
by Melissa on Nov. 8, 2014 at 11:10 PM
That has to be really hard. She needs to leave him alone.
Garnet_Iris11
by Bronze Member on Nov. 8, 2014 at 11:24 PM
My thoughts exactly! I have a lot to say about her and the whole situation, but can never say them to SO. He came home for about an hour or so and left again to call his parents, they can talk to him better than I can,

Quoting mjimaging: That has to be really hard. She needs to leave him alone.
diaperstodating
by Queen25Princes on Nov. 8, 2014 at 11:46 PM
Hugs
incogNinja
by on Nov. 9, 2014 at 7:46 AM
That is so ugly. She needs to gtf away like 9 years ago
KylesMom409
by Linnette on Nov. 9, 2014 at 5:25 PM
Agreed!

Quoting mjimaging: That has to be really hard. She needs to leave him alone.
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