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Would you believe your husband if....

Posted by on Dec. 4, 2014 at 7:31 PM
  • 15 Replies
Ok it's a long story but here it goes. About 6 months plus ago I discovered that my husband was looking at porn and lying about it. Also he was looking at YouTube ass shaking videos and lying about it. We went to counseling etc. Then he kept saying he would stop but I kept finding evidence he was still doing it. His cell was turned off so he was using work Internet to look at it. I finally told him it's either me or that phone. He gave me his phone and I still have it. Since then I haven't had any problems or evidence regarding him looking at it. He also gave me full access to his email and Facebook. Well Tuesday he wanted to use my phone to get on Facebook to check something. He took it into the bedroom because he said he needed to compare a guys business card against one of his Facebook friends name...to see if they were siblings. He was back there a few minutes. Then gave me phone back. 30 min later I get a notification on my phone for his Facebook saying his friend request had been accepted by some girl. I click on it and it's some sultry looking girl in a skimpy bikini. I asked him about it and he denied. Saying he didn't sent it etc. Of course I'm like yeah right how did it happen. The time the request was sent was when he was using the phone. This girl also has 4 mutual friends of his. I told him it was stupid to do that knowing I had access. He agreed and said yes why would he do that knowing I have full access. I'm upset because I feel like I'm being lied to again. I don't see any other explanations as to how it happened. Also we split up for 3 weeks back in January and he sent out a ton of friend requests to slurry looking girls. That stopped one we got back together. ..until now I guess. He is livid I don't believe him etc. What would you believe?
by on Dec. 4, 2014 at 7:31 PM
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Replies (1-10):
kyledavidsmom
by Tara on Dec. 4, 2014 at 8:15 PM
Oh wow first of all hugs.

I am not sure how I would react to this situation. Here is a bump maybe some of these wonderful ladies will have some advice.
kyledavidsmom
by Tara on Dec. 4, 2014 at 8:15 PM
Also Welcome to the group
MrsApple
by Member on Dec. 4, 2014 at 8:19 PM

If he had a history of lying and hiding things (or trying) like your husband,I wouldn't believe him.

countrymomma81
by Ruby Member on Dec. 4, 2014 at 8:34 PM

I'm naturally skeptical and rarely believe anyone. Obviously I wouldn't believe him. 

KylesMom409
by Linnette on Dec. 4, 2014 at 9:21 PM
I agree. Hugs and I hope no matter what, you get to the root of the problem and in the end, do what's best for you.

Quoting MrsApple:

If he had a history of lying and hiding things (or trying) like your husband,I wouldn't believe him.

MamaBearEH
by Bronze Member on Dec. 4, 2014 at 9:22 PM
1 mom liked this

With all due respect, I think you're being controlling in an unhealthy manner.  Stuff like that will push men away in a heartbeat, and certainly not discourage them from doing it.  It's like holding onto a water balloon tightly.  The tighter your grasp the more it tries to escape you until eventually it bursts, and just does what it should be allowed to do naturally - flow in freedom.  I would never tolerate your actions in a relationship.

If you split up (or separated) you have no say in what he's done whether you like it or not.

I can understand being lied to is one of the most hurtful things that can be done.  Consider WHY he felt the need to lie to you about the porn in the first place, and see if you can address that.  Everything past that sounds like escalation from your overbearing actions.

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Mishy2
by Michelle on Dec. 4, 2014 at 9:43 PM

If he had lied many times in the past I would find it hard to believe him again, the trust would have to be earned back. I am not really sure what else to say. Sorry and I hope you can work things out.

Jennybenny01
by Member on Dec. 4, 2014 at 9:45 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree with this.

Quoting MamaBearEH:

With all due respect, I think you're being controlling in an unhealthy manner.  Stuff like that will push men away in a heartbeat, and certainly not discourage them from doing it.  It's like holding onto a water balloon tightly.  The tighter your grasp the more it tries to escape you until eventually it bursts, and just does what it should be allowed to do naturally - flow in freedom.  I would never tolerate your actions in a relationship.

If you split up (or separated) you have no say in what he's done whether you like it or not.

I can understand being lied to is one of the most hurtful things that can be done.  Consider WHY he felt the need to lie to you about the porn in the first place, and see if you can address that.  Everything past that sounds like escalation from your overbearing actions.

svolkov
by on Dec. 4, 2014 at 9:45 PM
I agree

Quoting MamaBearEH:

With all due respect, I think you're being controlling in an unhealthy manner.  Stuff like that will push men away in a heartbeat, and certainly not discourage them from doing it.  It's like holding onto a water balloon tightly.  The tighter your grasp the more it tries to escape you until eventually it bursts, and just does what it should be allowed to do naturally - flow in freedom.  I would never tolerate your actions in a relationship.

If you split up (or separated) you have no say in what he's done whether you like it or not.

I can understand being lied to is one of the most hurtful things that can be done.  Consider WHY he felt the need to lie to you about the porn in the first place, and see if you can address that.  Everything past that sounds like escalation from your overbearing actions.

illneverbeold
by on Dec. 5, 2014 at 1:03 PM

I agree with this. If you are fearful he will cheat, well if it is going to happen, it will. There isn't anything you can do about it. You have a choice, you can accept him, or not. If not, then divorce is on its way.

Quoting MamaBearEH:

With all due respect, I think you're being controlling in an unhealthy manner.  Stuff like that will push men away in a heartbeat, and certainly not discourage them from doing it.  It's like holding onto a water balloon tightly.  The tighter your grasp the more it tries to escape you until eventually it bursts, and just does what it should be allowed to do naturally - flow in freedom.  I would never tolerate your actions in a relationship.

If you split up (or separated) you have no say in what he's done whether you like it or not.

I can understand being lied to is one of the most hurtful things that can be done.  Consider WHY he felt the need to lie to you about the porn in the first place, and see if you can address that.  Everything past that sounds like escalation from your overbearing actions.


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