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I told him our marriage is over...

Posted by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 1:36 PM
  • 14 Replies

My husband and I have been married for over 7 years...we have 2 beautiful daughters. He has diabetes (was diagnosed around 9 years ago) and absolutely refuses to take his medication regularly, be mindful of what he eats, check his blood sugar levels, or care for himself in general. In return, the girls and I have to deal with a cranky, lazy (all he wants to do is sit around and sleep because his sugar is out of control), and generally uninvolved dad/husband. I have finally had enough. I have begged, pleaded, cried...everything I can think of to get him to take his medicine. He will take it for a few days and then stop again. I am so afraid it is going to catch up with him and seriously affect his health. I don't want our girls to see their dad lose his eyesight, suffer from neuropathy, etc. because he CHOOSES not to care for himself. I have made it perfectly clear to him...unless he starts taking care of himself and takes charge of his health, our marriage is over. It isn't fair to our girls to think that this is normal. I don't know what else to do! :(

by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 1:36 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mjimaging
by Melissa on Jan. 6, 2015 at 1:51 PM
Maybe it will be the wake up call he needs. Good luck.
anotherandree
by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 2:00 PM
1 mom liked this

I can understand your frustration but you do need to realize that he will ALWAYS be theri father, regardless of whether you are his wife.  I am referring to when you said, "I don't want our girls to see their dad..."  They WILL continue to see him.  I do, however, hope that this is a wakeup call for him.  This is an exact example from the book "Boundaries in Marriage" but in that example, the woman tells him, "I love you so much but you are killing yourself.  I will stand by you because I love you but I have to protect myself and our children.  So, I have upped your life insurance, started looking into work/school so I can completely support this family when you are gone."  Or something along those lines.  In the book (ideally, of course!), the guy is like, "Oh shit! She's making plans without me."

buggies_mommy
by Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 3:06 PM

I do realize that and I cannot imagine him having to take care of them on his own. I do love him...I just do not love the person he has become because of allowing this disease to control not only his life, but our lives too. Him dying is what I fear the most. When I voice my concerns he usually tells me to stop "mothering" him and that it isn't any of my concern...which pisses me off to no end. I just hope he realizes how important he is to the girls.

Quoting anotherandree:

I can understand your frustration but you do need to realize that he will ALWAYS be theri father, regardless of whether you are his wife.  I am referring to when you said, "I don't want our girls to see their dad..."  They WILL continue to see him.  I do, however, hope that this is a wakeup call for him.  This is an exact example from the book "Boundaries in Marriage" but in that example, the woman tells him, "I love you so much but you are killing yourself.  I will stand by you because I love you but I have to protect myself and our children.  So, I have upped your life insurance, started looking into work/school so I can completely support this family when you are gone."  Or something along those lines.  In the book (ideally, of course!), the guy is like, "Oh shit! She's making plans without me."


buggies_mommy
by Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 4:34 PM
Bump
e-doolittle
by Kelly on Jan. 6, 2015 at 5:56 PM
Hope he makes some changes
cali_angel_girl
by Amy on Jan. 6, 2015 at 6:42 PM

((hugs)) hopefully this will be a wake up call for him.

gotomum
by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 8:00 PM

 Yes, you need him to be there and be healthy. Be the role model. Hope it helps.

Special Foods, Special Kids- mom and foodie

countrymomma81
by Ruby Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 8:42 PM

Have you gotten an response from him?

buggies_mommy
by Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 8:53 PM

He said he'd "do better"...so we will see. I don't want it come to us getting a divorce...but I feel like I needed to give him a reality check so he'd know I was serious!!

Quoting countrymomma81:

Have you gotten an response from him?


godsgirl26
by ♥Charmaine♥ on Jan. 6, 2015 at 9:18 PM
I hope he realize before its to late how much damage he is doing to himself. My little brother is doing this same thing it's so frustrating so I can imagine how frustrating it is for you because you are his wife.
I will be praying for y'all ((hugs)) ☺️
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