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a kink in my week ...

Posted by on Feb. 23, 2015 at 1:44 PM
  • 16 Replies

So my sister's birthday was Jan 18th - at the time, my mom was away on a trip so my dad took her out to dinner and I dropped her Bday gift directly at her house.  So technically her birthday was celebrated ... (My sister and I don't have a relationship per say, except for the fact that we come from the same parents.)  Anyways ... my mom calls me 2 weeks ago to tell me she's throwing a belated Bday dinner for my sister (DAMN!) but called me 3 days later to announce that due to schedule difficulties, dinner is canceled. (Happy Dance)  but then my mom told me this weekend that dinner is now re-scheduled for this Tuesday ... (FFS ... )  not only does this get on my nerves but it puts a hell of a kink in my week.

I already have no time for shinanigans during the week and as it is now, between work, home, DD and our very tight schedule - with nothing normally added to the mix, I have to do 1 hour of homework a night with DD in order to make her art classes work on Wednesday but to add to the chaos, I need to have my dog vaccinated for kennel cough this week before Wednesday because I'm boarding her next week and they require the bordatella vaccine 7 days prior to boarding.   So the only way to make all of this work is for me to 2 hours of homework with DD tonight, and have my dog vaccinated tomorrow night at the vet's near my mom's house and bring my dog to the dinner.  My mom wasn't too pleased with the situation but I told her it's that or I can't go, take your pick.  Can't split myself in two.

All this over a freckin birthday dinner 1 month late for a 43 year old .... REALLY ? Is it just me or this is stupidity at it's finest ???

by on Feb. 23, 2015 at 1:44 PM
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Replies (1-10):
JanineDeer
by on Feb. 23, 2015 at 1:48 PM
1 mom liked this

Well,  just bow out,  you already DID go out for her birthday, for crying out loud... You CAN say Oh boy.. I'd love to attend, but my plate is way too full of prior obligations at this time...    tell her happy BD from me, AGAIN.   And do  not go, they can't expect you drop everything.

Jinxed8
by Platinum Member on Feb. 23, 2015 at 1:57 PM

I tried, believe me I tried ... my mom gets very sensitive about family issues and me not attending.  I told her right off the bat that weeknight things were difficult for me to pull off.  I told her again Saturday night that it was really putting a kink in my schedule and it was almost impossible for me to make this work ; my mom said it'll be a quick thing (yeah right, it's never quite a quick thing at my mom's *sigh*)  Then I gave her the ultimatum, with the dog in tow or nothing at all ;  that this week was hell and I just couldn't split myself in 2.  I thought for sure that would be my way out, but my mom said okay fine, bring her.   ARGH

Quoting JanineDeer:

Well,  just bow out,  you already DID go out for her birthday, for crying out loud... You CAN say Oh boy.. I'd love to attend, but my plate is way too full of prior obligations at this time...    tell her happy BD from me, AGAIN.   And do  not go, they can't expect you drop everything.

 

KylesMom409
by Linnette on Feb. 23, 2015 at 9:10 PM
Bump!
e-doolittle
by Kelly on Feb. 23, 2015 at 10:38 PM
Frustrating!
AtoZmami
by New Member on Feb. 24, 2015 at 12:31 AM

You're not that overwhelmed with 'shenanigans" if you've the time to take to the internet to whine about it. What are we whining about anyway? Oh, yeah...your own MOTHER and SISTER would like to see you and feed you on top of it all for a birthday.

But, that's right, you should be in the clear because you were awesome enough to chuck a gift at the old lady, right? Jeeze, lady, you have family members that love you and want to see you, in spite of the fact that you've handled the entire situation with nothing but self-pity, selfishness, and half-assedness. You better change your thinking and learn it's not all about you, or just see how it feels when you get the same treatment from your daughter one day. Your dog isn't going to be around long enough to see it happen so where's that gonna leave you? Begging your kid to just stop by and eat a meal with you, even though you're old and 'stupid'.Your kid will be grown, and you will be your mother's age before you know it. If you can't love your own mom and sister enough to show up with a smile and stuff your face, just how wonderful do you think your life is gonna turn out in the blink of an eye? You better change your ways or you are going to end up old, lonely, bitter and miserable...

diaperstodating
by Queen25Princes on Feb. 24, 2015 at 12:48 AM
Bump
Pukalani79
by Ivy on Feb. 24, 2015 at 1:47 AM
I would go and try to enjoy some time with your family
countrymomma81
by Ruby Member on Feb. 24, 2015 at 8:26 AM

Our family already knows weeknights are a no go for us. Between practices, homework, church and spending time amongst ourselves we don't have time for a whole lot else. 

DH's mom called him Thursday to invite us to a crawfish boil on Saturday. I thought for sure he'd want us to cancel our plans but he was the one who said he was tired of canceling plans we had already made for her. So, we went to all 3 of the birthday parties we had to go to and had a great time. 

Jinxed8
by Platinum Member on Feb. 24, 2015 at 9:42 AM
1 mom liked this

WOW ....

well I work all day which is the only time I have to browse CM.  I never come here after 5pm or on the weekend.  I'm bitching because my DD's bithday was on the 16th, my mom was away for DD's bday too, my sister dropped her kids off at the venue where I was hosting DD's birthday and picked them up outside without even coming in and wishing my DD a happy Birthday - yeah there's a caring aunt right there !!  My daughter turned 11, do you see me throwing a second birthday party 1 month later because the family didn't attend ??    My sister really doesn't care to see me, TRUST ME on that one, my mom yes, my mom likes to pretend we're one happy family.  And the only reason I'm going tonight after all IS to please my mom.  For the record I saw my mom last Friday spent a good amount of time with her so it's not like I desert her and never make time to see her.

As far as my dog is concerned, the reason I'm rushing around to get her vaccinated is that I have to board her next week in order to be able to bring my daughter on a family vacation for spring break.  And dude, if I was all selfish I wouldn't be running around like a headless chicken trying to make everybody but myself happy.  I don't feel bad at all ... and I can tell you one thing right now, when I'm old, I hope DD is like me, I hope she's a strong woman, a good mom, who bends over backwards for her kids to make sure they are happy and are left needing for nothing.  I hope she bites her tongue once in a while to make me happy just like I do for my own mom but I promise myself I will not guilt trip her and force her to attend functions.  You know,  as much as DD adores her cousins, last night she did NOT appreciate the 2 hours of homework and my one thing was : We gotta get this done if you want to go to Grand-ma's tomorrow"  and even with me throwing all the routine off, in the end DH will take the dog to the vet and miss the dinner because they couldn't give me the appointment at the right time in order to make everything work. 

Quoting AtoZmami:

You're not that overwhelmed with 'shenanigans" if you've the time to take to the internet to whine about it. What are we whining about anyway? Oh, yeah...your own MOTHER and SISTER would like to see you and feed you on top of it all for a birthday.

But, that's right, you should be in the clear because you were awesome enough to chuck a gift at the old lady, right? Jeeze, lady, you have family members that love you and want to see you, in spite of the fact that you've handled the entire situation with nothing but self-pity, selfishness, and half-assedness. You better change your thinking and learn it's not all about you, or just see how it feels when you get the same treatment from your daughter one day. Your dog isn't going to be around long enough to see it happen so where's that gonna leave you? Begging your kid to just stop by and eat a meal with you, even though you're old and 'stupid'.Your kid will be grown, and you will be your mother's age before you know it. If you can't love your own mom and sister enough to show up with a smile and stuff your face, just how wonderful do you think your life is gonna turn out in the blink of an eye? You better change your ways or you are going to end up old, lonely, bitter and miserable...

 

mjimaging
by Melissa on Feb. 24, 2015 at 10:00 AM
I totally feel ya. I'm lucky in that I don't live in the same state as my family. My dad tried to guilt trip me in to being nice to my sister instead of just avoiding her. But in the grand scheme of things, she has made her life the way it is. She stole all my daughters piggy bank money when she was just one. She abandoned her child at only months of age. She has been thrown in jail numerous times. She is horribly irresponsible. She only contacts me to get help. It's annoying. I don't bend over backwards for her.
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