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6 Mother's Day Gifts No Wife Ever Wants

Posted by on May. 5, 2015 at 8:00 AM
  • 16 Replies

6 Mother's Day Gifts No Wife Ever Wants

Jill Smokler 

Mother's Day. That special day every May, when you show the moms in your life just how special they are to you. If you're scouring the Internet looking for the perfect gift, you've landed in the wrong place; the perfect Mother's Day gift is as individual to each mom as a fingerprint, and what makes my mom happy might make yours start looking through Craigslist for back alley hitmen. Fear not! There are, however, some things husbands and partners should not get their wife under any circumstances ... 

1. Cleaning products. Nothing says, “You’re the best, Mom!” quite like a vacuum cleaner or an ironing board. Use your head, dude. Save yourself some grief and your mom or wife some resentment and do NOT buy any kind of cleaning products unless she specifically asked for it. If she's got her eye on the latest and greatest steam vacuum and has mentioned it repeatedly in that special tone of deep deep longing, then sure, by all means, go for it! Otherwise, you need to pump the brakes. On the other hand, though, if you'd like to print out some nifty little IOUs for maid service, and actually honor them, that would be a dream come true for many moms across the universe. And then there are those who would take offense at the implied insult to their housekeeping abilities. It's a gamble. Proceed with that at your own risk!

2. Tickets to a sporting event that she has zero interest in. If you want to go, then go, but don't try to pretend that it was her you had in mind when you planned this outing. You might think she's a huge Packers fan because she makes amazing appetizers and allows the living room to turn into a sports bar every time the big game is on, but chances are she's just being nice. That's what Moms do. If you can't tell the difference between a real fan and a sympathetic supporter, just skip it. (Also: fishing gear, hunting trips, golf clubs, etc.)

3. Anything that requires Mom to get up early on her special day. The top #1 thing that moms consistently confess that they want for Mother’s Day more than anything else is to be able to relax and get some sleep. No one wants to get up to a disaster zone all over the house that she will have to clean up because you thought a sunrise pancake breakfast with the kids was a great idea.

4. Cash. Who are you, her great-great uncle's second cousin's niece, twice removed? You know she won’t spend that cash on herself. If you really feel all that strongly that she needs to pick out her own gift, at least make it a gift card to somewhere she likes.

5. Air (i.e. nothing). It’s one day a year. You know exactly what day, time, and channel the Super Bowl will be on. You can’t set a calendar alert or put up a Post-It note for Mother’s Day? Here's a hint for future reference: It's the second Sunday in May. Every year. Even on Leap Year. Here's another hint: Don't wait until the night before, or the morning of, and then think you're going to run right out and grab something. That never works out well, and Mom can tell. Something is better than nothing, I guess, but try to remember, okay? Don't make her feel like an obligation. (See also: Excuses.)

6. Excuses. “I wanted to ---, but ---” You’d be better off acting like you forgot than offering pitiful excuses as to why you weren’t able to do all the marvelous things you planned. This is not said to hurt your feelings, but honestly, it's the voice of experience talking. Your grand plan details that fell through don't need to be shared. Because chances are she'll smile and nod and hug you anyway, but in the back of her mind, it'll sound exactly like what it is -- an excuse for why you couldn't get your shit together one day a year.

Now get shopping! 

Yes, yes any gift is precious. Now tell us what you REALLY don't want!

 

Image via Scary Mommy

by on May. 5, 2015 at 8:00 AM
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Replies (1-10):
lalasmama2007
by on May. 5, 2015 at 8:41 AM
1 mom liked this

I disagree with the list.  I'd be thrilled with a new vacuum and I wouldn't say no to cash either.  

Sophie1106
by Paula on May. 5, 2015 at 9:16 AM
Lol we're going to a baseball game Saturday night and that's my gift. But I'm really excited to go. It was my idea!
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SuperPickle
by Gold Member on May. 5, 2015 at 10:17 AM

Cut flowers from a florist. I really hate them. I mean they are beautiful but florist flowers STINK and they die so quickly and they are RIDICULOUSLY expensive. I would rather have a potted plant that I can keep or fresh flowers from my own garden that smell wonderful!

mom2jessnky
by Bronze Member on May. 5, 2015 at 10:22 AM

I disagree with the list. But I'm also not one of those moms that gets all bent out of shape if we don't do anything for Mother's Day.

I've gotten a vaccuum in May before, not specifically as a Mother's day gift, but if that's what I want who gets to tell me it's a bad gift? I love practical gifts. I already wake up early on my own so #3 isn't a problem. On the cash thing or even gift cards who CARES if I don't spend it on myself exclusively? It's my gift right? My MIL is one of those people that gets all bent if I don't spend the gift card/money she sends me for my birthday exclusively on myself. Maybe I didn't need anything? Maybe I think it's awesome to get extra money to offset the cost of something? Maybe I LIKE my family and want to go with them to the movies? She sent me a Target g/c for my birthday this year...totally bought groceries with it.

LoriAnn87
by Bronze Member on May. 5, 2015 at 10:53 AM

I disagree with this list and I have gotten cash one year for Mother's day but I really wouldn't care if I didn't get anything at all because the most preious gift money can't buy is spending the day with my family.


lalasmama2007
by on May. 5, 2015 at 11:21 AM

I agree!

Quoting SuperPickle:

Cut flowers from a florist. I really hate them. I mean they are beautiful but florist flowers STINK and they die so quickly and they are RIDICULOUSLY expensive. I would rather have a potted plant that I can keep or fresh flowers from my own garden that smell wonderful!


mumsy2three
by Shauna on May. 5, 2015 at 5:49 PM
Exactly this

Quoting SuperPickle:

Cut flowers from a florist. I really hate them. I mean they are beautiful but florist flowers STINK and they die so quickly and they are RIDICULOUSLY expensive. I would rather have a potted plant that I can keep or fresh flowers from my own garden that smell wonderful!

thundersky
by on May. 5, 2015 at 7:47 PM
One more thing having to share mothers day is bad enough but mom getting forgot in the day making it special for her mom and mil that she doesn't get at least part of the day for herself.
KylesMom409
by Linnette on May. 5, 2015 at 10:33 PM
This

Quoting lalasmama2007:

I disagree with the list.  I'd be thrilled with a new vacuum and I wouldn't say no to cash either.  

e-doolittle
by Kelly on May. 6, 2015 at 5:37 AM
DH is planning sports this weekend not thrilled
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