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I need some advice here. And no, I am not a troll.

Posted by on Jan. 23, 2016 at 6:59 AM
  • 32 Replies

I am 38 years old, married, and have a teenage daughter. I'm trying to improve my appearance and confidence. I have had a difficult time as I feel nervous around people. Due to negative treatment in my childhood I learned to think and feel negative about myself.

After seeing counselors and psychiatrists I was advised to make some friends.

I want to improve my appearance for reasons of respect. I get stares when I walk into a store. I am polite, but I get service based on my appearance so I'd rather not shop.

I work as a CNA and my husband managed the home while I studied. Now we both work. Our daughter is finishing her senior year.

I would like to change how I appear in my life. My family is good, and my job good. I am moving to another state next week and if anyone has any advice on making friends it would help.



by on Jan. 23, 2016 at 6:59 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Sondi7
by on Jan. 23, 2016 at 7:07 AM
What about your appearance do you want to change?

I always find it easier to make friends in new places through hobbies. Join a book club, cooking class, gym.... Etc. whatever you enjoy doing.
iamcafemom83
by Bronze Member on Jan. 23, 2016 at 7:09 AM
2 moms liked this
Making friends is kind of like dating, isn't it!!! At least that's what it feels like.

If there's anything you enjoy doing, start there. Some people play sports and make friends that way.

I am between friends myself...I had a couple cool people in the last year but they've all moved. :(

You could try finding your new city's Facebook page. I am part of a couple in our own and new people to town are constantly fly posting asking questions. It could help you find mom's groups, areas your family might like to go do things.
Hoos456
by Member on Jan. 23, 2016 at 7:10 AM
If you are trying to dress better, then try Maurices if you have one. They have always been kind to me, no matter how I'm dressed, they will help you find outfits and have great deals.
lalasmama2007
by on Jan. 23, 2016 at 8:58 AM

I think you are being paranoid.  If that is you in your avatar picture, I don't see anything that would cause anyone to stare at you.  Small things like wearing makeup, getting a new hair style and new clothes are always confidence boosters.

MrsCountryMama
by Member on Jan. 23, 2016 at 9:03 AM
2 moms liked this
Why do you feel people stare?
grneyedormom
by Kendra on Jan. 23, 2016 at 9:49 AM
1 mom liked this
Don't worry about people calling you a troll in this group. We are welcoming and not immature like some of the other groups on the site.

ReadWriteLuv
by on Jan. 23, 2016 at 10:01 AM
What is is specifically you want to change? I'm a whiz with makeup, I've got lots of tricks.
Pukalani79
by Ivy on Jan. 23, 2016 at 11:47 AM
What are you unhappy about? A lot of how people might treat you could be related to your confidence. People tend to gravitate towards others who are confident. Maybe try working on that? I know it's hard, but you can do it, and you are worth the effort.
emarin77
by on Jan. 23, 2016 at 12:05 PM

I agree and do the same to have more confidence.

Quoting lalasmama2007:

I think you are being paranoid.  If that is you in your avatar picture, I don't see anything that would cause anyone to stare at you.  Small things like wearing makeup, getting a new hair style and new clothes are always confidence boosters.


Firewoman33
by Gold Member on Jan. 23, 2016 at 1:27 PM
1 mom liked this

If that is you in your avatar I would agree with the pp's. There is no reason why people would be staring at you. 

You need to find a feature on your face that you like and accentuate that. If it's your eyes, get a good mascara. If it's your lips, a nice tinted balm or lipstick. You don't need to go crazy with makeup, just something to boost  a feature you already like. 

The best advice I could give you though is to have good posture and walk like you know where you're going. Keep your head up, back straight. That's some of the best advice I ever got from my Grandma on how to handle a situation when you feel insecure. 

It'll feel silly but the old balancing a book on your head while walking trick really does work. When you stand tall and walk with confidence it changes the way your body physically looks and it changes how others perceive you. 

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