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Joke turned into guilt - UPDATED

Posted by on Dec. 12, 2017 at 3:38 PM
  • 17 Replies
2 moms liked this

UPDATE -> I'm happy to report that I told DD yesterday and she was laughing her head off.  She thought it was the funniest thing and told me she figured it was some kind of joke but kept playing along just in case the home made gift thing was real on top of her regular presents.   she said to my mom that  "She was poor" in the sense of she has no money left in her piggy bankI guess my mom must have misunderstood - So she is MY daughter and knows me and my sense of humor, I'm glad to see that I didn't do wrong by my daughter and she's not stressed or traumatized in any way. 


so a few weeks ago I made a joke to my daughter and told her that this year, times were tough and that we have all opted to go for gifts from the heart instead of purchases.  Dh and I then burst into laughter but were kinda egging DD on.

I didn't mention it again, last weekend we did our traditional Christmas themed day by going to buy a personalised ornament at the store, did some Christmas shopping for her class gift exchange and my family's secret santa followed by lunch at the restaurant and then decorating the tree at home and later watching a Christmas movie & eating finger foods that my daughter chose at the store.   that day alone set me back almost $200. 

But then my mom called me on Monday and told me that when DD was at her house last week she asked my mom to help her make a gift for me and told her about us being "poor" this year and doing home made gifts. My mom is aware of the joke and thought it was hillarious and I told DH last night and he thought it was hillarious but I told him I feel bad now because I talked freely about gifts I bought for my nieces and nephew ; I though she had caught on that it was all a joke.  Now I don't know what to do ...  I'm putting myself in her shoes and she sees me spend all this money on other people while I'm telling her we're doing home made gifts at home ?

My husband thinks we shouldn't say anything and keep it going until Christmas day since there's only 2 weeks left to go ....  I can't believe my DD is that gullable at nearly 14 years old.  I'm also afraid she's telling people around her about us being poor and not being able to afford presents this year ...

what would you do ?

 My Daughter, My Life, My Fight

by on Dec. 12, 2017 at 3:38 PM
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Replies (1-10):
browncoat
by on Dec. 12, 2017 at 3:41 PM
2 moms liked this
I guess I don’t find it hilarious to stress a child out about family finances in the first place.
KoiKamsahamnida
by New Member on Dec. 12, 2017 at 3:49 PM


Quoting browncoat: I guess I don’t find it hilarious to stress a child out about family finances in the first place.

I agree, thats not cool.

B3autifulCha0s
by Member on Dec. 12, 2017 at 3:56 PM
I’d tell her you were joking. It would be kind of upsetting to have parents “joke” (kids might see it as lying not joking)about not being able to buy you gifts but spend a bunch of money on food and gifts to other people. :(
Jinxed8
by Platinum Member on Dec. 12, 2017 at 4:07 PM

I didn't see it as a stress factor - I just made the joke because DD is all about the presents...  and nothing else.  She started talking about her 3 sheet long want list the day after Halloween.   We were clearly laughing the whole time I didn't think she thought this was for real, for a minute ...

My DD has never wanted for nothing her entire life ... I would eat PB&Js for a month to make sure she had presents under the tree if I were in financial turmoil.   

Quoting browncoat: I guess I don’t find it hilarious to stress a child out about family finances in the first place.


Jinxed8
by Platinum Member on Dec. 12, 2017 at 4:11 PM

ok I guess I'll sit her down tonight and talk to her ... given this post and your reactions I think I also need to teach my daughter a sense of reality ... when you're "poor" you don't go out to eat, you don't freely shop for stuff that isn't necessary, etc and frankly I'm very shocked that at her age she can't seem to figure it out. 

Quoting B3autifulCha0s: I’d tell her you were joking. It would be kind of upsetting to have parents “joke” (kids might see it as lying not joking)about not being able to buy you gifts but spend a bunch of money on food and gifts to other people. :(


redheadtmk
by on Dec. 12, 2017 at 4:18 PM
2 moms liked this
I would not make a big deal about it but mention in passing that you were just kidding about not having enough money. My first instinct was to not say anything so she would be pleasantly surprised but it could backfire if she feels guilty about it.
PinkButterfly66
by on Dec. 12, 2017 at 4:31 PM

I don't find jokes like that at all funny.  

halsmommy14
by on Dec. 12, 2017 at 4:35 PM
You're gross. Your poor kid.
B3autifulCha0s
by Member on Dec. 12, 2017 at 4:41 PM
It wouldn’t hurt to explain that to her. Have you ever joked with her about this kind of thing before? If not, that may be why she hasn’t figured out that your joking.

Quoting Jinxed8:

ok I guess I'll sit her down tonight and talk to her ... given this post and your reactions I think I also need to teach my daughter a sense of reality ... when you're "poor" you don't go out to eat, you don't freely shop for stuff that isn't necessary, etc and frankly I'm very shocked that at her age she can't seem to figure it out. 

Quoting B3autifulCha0s: I’d tell her you were joking. It would be kind of upsetting to have parents “joke” (kids might see it as lying not joking)about not being able to buy you gifts but spend a bunch of money on food and gifts to other people. :(

Briesmom38
by Gold Member on Dec. 13, 2017 at 1:22 PM
I can't help it, I think it's funny. Now if it was my daughter she would have caught on but continued to play along until I said something to her or she'd give me this smirk that shows me she knows.
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