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Has anyone lost anyone close to you and you still think of them constantly 15 years later.

Posted by on Jun. 29, 2009 at 3:30 PM
  • 34 Replies

My nana died when I was in highschool, she pretty much too care of us when my parents divorced. My mom left us and my dad and his mom (my nana) took care of us and raised us. We were very close. Sure we had our ups and downs just like a mother/daughter relationship, but I loved her very much. I never thought she would die at such a young age, I dont even think she was 60 when she died. She was never even sick, she went to the hospital because her back hurt her and it turned out she had a blocked artery and she died.  I sure there were other health issues, but I'm not exactly sure what she died of. Anyways it's been almost 15 years and I still think about her everyday. I am sad and I wish she was around to see my kids grow up. I know how much she would have loved them, she was very close to me. I sometimes see a women walking down the street and she'll be dressed like how my nana was and I'll have to take a second look or i'll smell her perfume in the air and I'll look around. I even have dreams where she is in them and we'll be surrounded by family and no one can see her but me. What does this all mean and how come I cannot get her out of my head. I want to remember her yes, but I dont want to be so sad when I think about her not being here.

by on Jun. 29, 2009 at 3:30 PM
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Replies (1-10):
renrut3907
by on Jun. 29, 2009 at 4:36 PM

My dad died 13 years ago.  My mom died 9 years ago.  I think of them alot but it's definitely not as vivid as it once was.  Time does not heal all wounds but it does dim them.  My daughter has very little in the way of grandparents cause my husband's parents live in different states.  I know I have certainly struggled alot more in my adult years then I would've had to if they had been around.  I was an only child to parents who had plenty of money to spend and they always provided for me above and  beyond.  Now my husband and I struggle for the necessities, childcare is hard to find, and they don't get to see my daughter grow up.  We all got cheated but what can ya do?  I just found a dapper painting that my dad had done when he was 18 in the Korean war.  A Korean guy painted it for him around 1952.....he was in his uniform and he looked so young and full of life.  I framed it and hung it on the wall.  I look at it often.  Yesterday I sold my car and cleaned it out and found some old notes in my dad's handwriting.  That shed a few tears. 

Mom2_2Boys
by on Jun. 30, 2009 at 1:45 AM

This post has brought so many emotions out in me. I lost my Dad in 2001 to cancer. He passed on my 25th birthday, and my son was only 11 months old. My Dad was a great person and I hate that my kids don't get to know him. I wish my kids could have the experiences that my nieces had with my Dad. My oldest son has so many characteristics of my Dad. I know he would be so proud.

Moms2NTwins
by Veronica on Jun. 30, 2009 at 11:37 PM

 my grandfather was murdered Superbowl Sunday '94. I think about him all the time and wonder why someone so viciously took him from us. My great grandmother passed on her 86th birthday 1*7*01, I find myself talking about her all the time. (I gave birth to my 2nd son on 1-7-02 and by sheer coincidence he has her first 2 initials but the day is always bittersweet.) I find myself telling DH about stuff she did and things she loved. I lost my cousin in Jan 05 and I was so close to him. Then my FIL who lived with us passed Dec 06. My heart has been pained so many times and I could list many more. It's like when someone close to us dies they really do take a piece of us.  

               Michael Jackson R.I.P.      8/29/58-6/25/09

angel424
by on Jul. 1, 2009 at 12:03 AM

yes my uncle I miss him so much. He made all of us laugh so much in the family

mom2littlefoot
by on Jul. 1, 2009 at 9:23 AM


Quoting joshbellamom:

 I sometimes see a women walking down the street and she'll be dressed like how my nana was and I'll have to take a second look or i'll smell her perfume in the air and I'll look around. I even have dreams where she is in them and we'll be surrounded by family and no one can see her but me. What does this all mean and how come I cannot get her out of my head. I want to remember her yes, but I dont want to be so sad when I think about her not being here.

I had a similar loss, and the way that I cope is to recall those instances with joy...my grandmother is always near--sight, smell, and sometimes even songs on the radio.  I choose it as an opportunity to remember her with joy and to think of it as a big hug from her.  I guess it's how you spin it...I do miss her terribly, but I have faith that she sees my life, my accomplishments, my loved ones...that she is still a part of my life in both a spiritual and a mental sense.  I don't know if that makes any sense, but I think missing our loved ones that have passed is and always will be a special part of our lives.

amyleigh2112
by on Oct. 16, 2009 at 6:38 AM

I can totally relate...my dad died under horrendous circumstances in 97, he never got to know my children, my son was born the following year...and wouldn't you know it I gave birth to a son I named after him who died shortly after birth on my oldest son's birthday (and the day after my birthday). I have a picture of my father when he was a handsome 20 year old right out of the Vietnam. My daughter who is 6 looks up at the picture all the time and says "I miss Paw Paw" even though she never knew him. Even though I want my children to know all the wonderful things about their grandfather and brother, it's extremely painful for me to relive those memories.

So, I guess for now it's the same ole same ole.

lovemykids73
by on Oct. 16, 2009 at 9:32 AM

My finace died 5 years ago TODAY.  Strange how I've never seen another post like this before today and it was started months ago....  Yes I think about him of course, but I am happy where my life is now. 

CafeMom Tickers
Latina2579
by on Oct. 16, 2009 at 9:45 AM

First of all I'm very sorry you feel so sad:( I've been there and I can tell you I understand how you feel. One thing I learned from my experience is that they rather have you remember them how they lived with you than without you. Your nana wants you happy and you know that too, so please her, give her that much. She's always with you since you two had and have a tight bond. That will never go away. You just have to find a way to balance it with your life right now. Keep her in your life in a positive way without hurting yourself and being sad everyday. Maybe that's why you only see her in the dreams. Maybe she's trying to tell you to stop being so sad and that she's ok. Be happy and remember your times with her. This is what I did and I hope it helps you. Take care:)

Beautyful_Momma
by on Oct. 17, 2009 at 7:05 AM

 Mine wasn't a death.  It was a break-up of an engagement and yes after 15 years I still wonder where that person is today.

Jacqalyn
by Bronze Member on Oct. 17, 2009 at 12:14 PM
My grandmother (my dad's mom) who passed 21yrs ago I also tell my kids about her she was a great woman I just wished she was here to meet my husband and kids. I know she would have loved and adored them just as they would have loved and adored her. And then my step grandfather (my mom's step dad) who passed away 12 yrs ago right befor my dh and I got married, he was so happy for me when I got engaged and him and dh got alone so well. I wish he could have been there the day we said I do and when I had my children I was the first grandchild on both sides to give them their first great grandchild just knowing they were not there to meet her was so hard.

 I love my kids!

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