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Has anyone lost anyone close to you and you still think of them constantly 15 years later.

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My nana died when I was in highschool, she pretty much too care of us when my parents divorced. My mom left us and my dad and his mom (my nana) took care of us and raised us. We were very close. Sure we had our ups and downs just like a mother/daughter relationship, but I loved her very much. I never thought she would die at such a young age, I dont even think she was 60 when she died. She was never even sick, she went to the hospital because her back hurt her and it turned out she had a blocked artery and she died.  I sure there were other health issues, but I'm not exactly sure what she died of. Anyways it's been almost 15 years and I still think about her everyday. I am sad and I wish she was around to see my kids grow up. I know how much she would have loved them, she was very close to me. I sometimes see a women walking down the street and she'll be dressed like how my nana was and I'll have to take a second look or i'll smell her perfume in the air and I'll look around. I even have dreams where she is in them and we'll be surrounded by family and no one can see her but me. What does this all mean and how come I cannot get her out of my head. I want to remember her yes, but I dont want to be so sad when I think about her not being here.

by on Jun. 29, 2009 at 3:30 PM
Replies (11-20):
Irishrose2009
by on Oct. 17, 2009 at 12:27 PM
1 mom liked this

I lost my Father to cancer when I was 18 months old. I do not remember him. His name was Angel. as a child i use to imagine he was my personal guardian angel. i always felt very connected despite not knowing him.

when i was 25, i lost my grandfather who raised me since i was two years old. he was a father to me. he was in reality my step grandpa but did not know this until i was 18 years old. he died at the age of 59. suddenly. i find that with all the struggles i am experiancing in the last year , he would have been there for me. offering up excellent advice, and encouragement.

MickeyMouse1979
by on Oct. 17, 2009 at 12:49 PM

My grandmother died in 1985 (she was diabetic), I still think about her alot.  I also had a miscarage in 1996.  So it helps me to know that my Grandmother is there with my daughter.  The father of the baby I lost just recently got out of prison from a 10 year sentence and then was killed in a car accident a couple of months ago.  My cousin who was only 31 and the monther of three boys just died a couple of weeks ago from a brain tumor. 

 

krazymom2k03
by on Oct. 18, 2009 at 4:16 PM

my grandma died in 1998 and i still think of her all the time

Tam_n_Fam
by on Oct. 18, 2009 at 4:25 PM

My Nanny died when I was 12.  She was my mom's mom.  She was always there for me when life wasn't too good.  My dad was big on drinking back then, and would say things that shouldn't be said.  She would protect me as best she could from all that.  When she died, I just felt lost and empty.  I am 30 now, and I do think about her most days.  I believe that she is with me though, and with my son.  I wish she could meet him too, she would have really gotten a kick outta him.  It is hard, and it is sad.  I have dreams sometimes where she will be there and I would be like "oh where have you been?  I couldn't find you".  She never answers though.  If you are spiritual, the dreams can be your Nana coming to you to tell you that she is with you.  You know, there are groups on here that have mediums in them, who may be able to answer your questions more.

pstacey
by on Oct. 19, 2009 at 1:34 AM

yes, definitely i think about my mom and dad both daily.  they passed at different times for different reasons, but i have been without bio parents for eighteen plus years now.  having a son (my first and probably only) has made me miss them even more.  i hate that they don't know him and he will not know them.  time has helped, but not enough, for me at least.  probably could do with some counseling.  i know this is an old post, but thanks for the opportunity to express myself about this and realize i'm not alone. 

krista973
by on Oct. 19, 2009 at 1:52 AM

I lost my mother on 18 0o Sept. this year. I feel like my heart is broke she was my best friend. she was sick for over 7 years then one day i was taking her out to the store she tried to get in the car an her ankle broke she went in to have it fixed an her heart stopped when she was on the table they brought her back she was in icu for almost 2 weeks I got a call at 9:45 pm on   friday the  18 they asked me to ok a dnr order I gave the ok on the way up to say good bye to my mother she died at 11:03 pm.I never got to say goodbye. that day I lost my best friend my mother the only person that was all ways there an never turned her back on me.

biomom1437
by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 1:05 AM

i can relate my older brother was in a fishing accident when he was 6 and spent 8 years in a coma.  He got fluid on his lungs and died when i was 11 and i was in foster care at the time and my social worker wouldn't let me go to the furnel so i never got to say good bye.  and i greved his death until i was 22.   i often still think about him.  some days i wished we could have grown up together and that he were still here and not have ended up in a coma.  i found myself thinking more about him recently sinse the birth of my daughter.  so sometimes it takes a while to get over a huge lose in life.  my  advice give it time don't expect that you will get over the loss of your grandmother soon.  everyone grieves differently.  but if you are having a really hard time maybe talking to someone close to you that can understand how you fell might help.

SallyB_LMT
by Bronze Member on Feb. 22, 2013 at 1:21 AM

My grandmas both died within 2.5 years of each other.  I was very close to my mother's mother.  I remember and miss her frequently and that was 10 years ago.  My dad's mom wasn't as close, but I still miss her around the holidays and at my birthday because she always used to send me a card and many times it was the only card I got all year.  I remember being so excited as a child and even an adult, waiting for my birthday card.  I loved that, a lot more than I realized before she was gone.

I don't know why you are having dreams about your nana, perhaps you haven't found closure with your loss.  It's very hard when it's so sudden like that.  Have you tried lighting a candle for her and meditating/praying about it?  Do you have a picture of her that you can look at or talk to when you have a dream about her?  I talk to my grandmas, I know that sounds kooky, but when I really miss them I will pull out a picture of them and talk to it.  I will say things like, "I really miss you today, I know you would have loved what my kids did.  It was so funny and cute.  I wish so much that you could be here because I know you would have enjoyed knowing them."  It helps to let it out, sometimes I cry and sometimes not.  You could also write in a journal.  Make a list of all the great things about her and funny things she did, what perfume she wore, wonderful stories she told or food she made, don't forget to add in recipes.  You can share it with your kids when they are old enough to appreciate it.

AngelicMommy_72
by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 1:32 AM
I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how you feel.. A cousin/sister/ best friend of mine died when I was 19, She was the 1 person I'd always depend on to be there. She was 1 person who really knew me. It will be 12 years in October and feel like it was yesterday.

I think of her often I cry for her still. I miss her like crazy, Probably always will.

and no I didn't mean for that to rhyme ha....

Her mother and my mother were single mothers who met the projects, When she and my older sister were infants. We were raised so closely we could be sisters we call each other cousins, And when I became a teenager she and I became really good friends even though she was quite a few years older than me.

I've never had a relationship like that with anybody else including my own sisters. It's hard not to miss something that can't be replaced.
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hollydaze1974
by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 1:46 AM
My aunt passed when I was 12 and I can still "smell" her from time to time. My scarf, jewelry box, freshly washed hair"...I really just take it as a visit and say " hi, come to see me and the boys?"
Sometimes I think if you are constantly thinking about a passed loved one... Either you or they has something left to say.... Or like my aunt.... A visit.
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