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If you are divorced, how have you helped your child cope?

Posted by on Oct. 6, 2009 at 5:35 PM
  • 6 Replies

If you are divorced, how have you helped your child cope?

How to help children deal with divorce article:

 http://www.parent.net/article/kids-divorce.shtml

by on Oct. 6, 2009 at 5:35 PM
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Replies (1-6):
momof4kids257
by on Oct. 14, 2009 at 8:46 PM

After almost 25 years marriage he wanted out. I tried not to bad mouth my soon to be ex over the year of seperation-moving 800 miles helped.... and tried to answer all my son's questions no matter how trivial they seemed. When he starts to bad mouth me though...it gets hard and with the youngest  all I can do is support him and try to keep him as busy in 4th and 5th grade as possible. Good luck if you are going through this. I still am and everything is still very raw.

Joyful6and12
by on Oct. 14, 2009 at 8:55 PM

Yep. Try to be fair and loving - give yourself a time out when you know you can't.  Eventually, the kids will see things with their own eyes for what they are, but for some, that won't happen until they are adults.  

teaandlavender
by on Oct. 20, 2009 at 8:47 AM

I was diviorced when my  children were 4 and 2, it was easyer then I think to answer questions because they still have an unconditional love for you at that age. Now, my children are 10 and 12 and we are still struggling because there father constintly tells my children what a mistake I was in his life, how i only want my kids to live with me so he has to give me money and I dont have to work ( im curently applying for disability) My son , the oldest is very cold to me when his father is around, he wont look at me or hug me and gives 1 word answers, but as soon as his dad leaves he gives me the biggest hug and yes a kiss and tells me he misses me. He says he cant really talk in frnt of his dad bc he will get screamed at for being a traitor and i will try to take him away and ruin his life as well. so sad. I have talked to counsolers and law guardians galory and i cant prove he says that and my son is afraid to tell them and even says he wont say anything bad about his dad because i screwed up and left him. My daughter she just rools with the punches for the most part. She has always been a mama's girl and we r very close. We are going bck to court once again in a few wks because my daughter wants to come home w/me full time (i was very ill, nearly died 3 times and I had have the kids move in w/my ex 3 yrs ago) and my ex is violating visitation and many other court orders right now. I hope for you other ladies yr ex is able to let go and move on, but its been 8 yrs of divorce for me and at least 30 court dates just to make my life hell. good luck to you all

cholita1978
by on Oct. 20, 2009 at 9:11 AM

My Dd is two so, it has not been that hard, now one thing, her dad and I agreed on, was that I won't say anything bad about him, and he will do the same, it has been working out good for now, but let's see what happens in the future.

cherokeemom
by on Oct. 21, 2009 at 1:23 PM

 

wow i am currently newly seperated for about three weeks. my kids are 6 and 11 and i dont know how to handle all the questions they are giving. i am doing my best to answer but my soon to be ex is not my childrens father but he is the only one they know. the other two have not ever been in the picture. my daughter who is 11 is i think ok with it because she understands and knows why we are splitting. but my son who is 6 is having a hard time with it, even though he had bad behaviors before he left. which started all of the sudden, then when he left, some of them got a lot better. but we are living day to day and im keeping them both busy in sports and keeping up on everything. this is actually  a good post it will be interesting to see what other ladies post about this.

navyjen
by Member on Oct. 21, 2009 at 1:25 PM

One thing you can do is dont speak negatively about their father.   Let them make their own decisions.   Be honest with them.  Make sure they know that both mommy and daddy love them that they just cant be with each other any more.  My son was 3 when my ex and I split and now at 11 he is a happy well adjusted child.  Of course I am remarried and his stepdad and he are very close..    

Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie
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