Hi, I'm Jenni BTW and I'm terrified and excited at the same time... It's kind of a weird place to be. The last time I was pregnant I thought everything was great, I was sick alot. "Morning sickness" never left, not any day the whole time. We new it was a girl and I was soo excited I had a 3 year old boy and wanted a girl. Well I was up to weekly appts and on Tues, August 7th, 2007 I had my regular appt. So the sad part is I felt her move that am around 5 or so I had gotten up with my husband and helped him get his stuff ready for work, she was moving then. My appt was at 10 so I had dropped my son off with my grandma and picked up my mom and we went to the appt. Things went as usual I gained 4 lbs and was dissapointed but making my total weight gain 6 lbs (my doctor told me not to gain more than 15 lbs for total pregnancy due to me already being greatly over weight. She was kind of chastising me for gaining 4 in one week, "be careful the baby is growing just fine, you do not need excess weight....bla bla bla". So I was feeling crapy! Well time for the doppler and suprise suprise the Dr. couldn't find it. Which by the way was somewhat normal she liked to mess with my OB and would move when they were trying to hear the heart! So 10 mins and she's still not finding it. So she takes me to the ultrasound room, and they take a look. Well there is no heart beat and no blood flow. She went ahead and sent me accross the yard where they have a 3-D ultrasound just to double check. But in my head and my heart I already knew what was goin on, even though they didn't tell me. I could see there was no heart beat and there was no blood flow. By this time I'm hysterical, and my dumb mother (I'm not her biggest fan sorry) was like "what, what's wrong I don't understand" so I very plainly said "no heartbeat, no blood flow, no life" and she's trying to be optimistic and "well maybe the machine is broke" and I tell her, "so if it's broke why would it show an image and neglect the heart beats....". So we do the other ultrasound and sure enough it's confirmed, she is gone. So they gave me the option of a V-back or doing another C-section, I picked the C-section. I couldn't have a live baby naturally why would they think I wanted to have a heaven bound baby naturally? They discovered she passed due to a kink in her umbelical cord and assured me that this is a fluke and nothing could have been done to prevent it. So now I am pregnant again, and I know the odds are astronomical but it doesn't make it easier. We named her Elliyana she was 6lbs 12oz 21 in long and had a full head of long (halfway past her ears) dark hair. So that is pretty much my story and now I'm bawling... but it's getting easier to talk about at least. Sorry it was so long, but I belive if it's a story worth telling the whole thing should be told. So thanx for reading and good luck to all of you who read this.
im so sorry for your loss. i loss my 2nd child last year my son died from compresion caused by torsion of the umbilical cord i was 33 w and 4 days im now ttc since march good luck hun and once again im so sorry.
Quoting jhcz:
im so sorry for your loss. i loss my 2nd child last year my son died from compresion caused by torsion of the umbilical cord i was 33 w and 4 days im now ttc since march good luck hun and once again im so sorry.
Thanx soo much! It feels real when it's someone who knows instead of empathises, u know. Plus the whole it was meant to be, there must be a reason you dont understand right now....bla bla bla I hated that the most. You know if you could have seen her you would say there was no reason. I'm sure you feel the same for yours, they were perfect. And thanx again.
i know what you mean i always hated when some one said "oh your young you can have more" or "well at least you have a child" like that makes it any better.
Im so sorry! I lost our son in January I was 5 1/2 months and delivered. He had a mass on his lung. I know how you feel. It's hard saying hello and goodbye all at once :( I will be praying for you and just know the more calm you are the more the chances of you having a healthy beautiful little human in your tummy :) Blessings to you and your family keep your head up!
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I'm so sad
- EeeesMom
on Jul. 9, 2009 at 9:26 AM