UGGG MY SON I CAN'T DO THIS!!!!!!!!!

[momwith2monkeys]

 

 i can't do this shit anymore. my son is always getting into trouble in school. i know he has adhd, ODD, and possible bi-polar disorder but it isn't an excuse for his behavior. He can't even make it day in school without a call from the school. he got suspended today for the rest of the week. last week he had ISS and we had to pick him up the day of ISS because of his behavior. He got suspended the week before  that he has about 30 referals in 3 YEARS. HE IS 8 AND IS IN 2ND GRADE! He has IEP, see a behavior therapist, a mental health doctor. ( i called them today and had them work him in tomorrow morning). he takes 4 pills a day, 3 in the morning and 1 before bedtime. we had had 2 behavior modification plan meeting with the school. Today the vice principal told me we have 3 options: option 1 i come and sit with him everyday at school. ( i can't do that my husband got laid off 2 month ago and i am looking for work and so is my husband) 2: homeschooling ( my husband is against him i mention it to him today and he said HELL NO we are not homeschooling him) or 3: alternative school. he said if we don't do option 1 or 2 we are going to have to have another modification meeting and since nothing is working he might be place in alternative school.

The teacher can't even teach the class because she is always having to stop to correct my son or having to call someone from the office to come remove him from class and it isn't far to the other students.

We don't know what to do anymore, we have TRIED EVERYTHING!!! he says to everything " i don't care". we say you are grounded from your bike, Tv, game and toys and he says i don't care. we told him last night if he gets suspended tomorrow then you will not get to Easter egg hunt Sunday with Britney he   said I don't care. we have spanked him, we have tried the reward system, we have talked to him about his behavior and why he does it.

what do we do now? i can't sit at school with him everyday i have to look for a job or we will be homeless, unemployment is not paying the bills.

My husband is in denial  he believe the excuses my son make, well i don't i have been dealing with this shit for 3 years since he started K. i tell my husband the teacher are not all against him. we have to face facts and the truth he is doing this shit and we don't know what to do.

ugggg it is just so fucking aggravating and stressful, we have so much on our plate right now so much to deal with and it is driving me crazy.

what do you do when all else fails; call dr phil?

[NettePooh]

I am so sorry! You have been through alot with your little guy already. Sounds like you are exhausted and need to step back from the whole thing, take a deep breath and count to ten . Take it one day at a time and ONE issue at a time. Not saying that your son can control everything he is doing but you can for yourself! I hope things get much better for you... hang on there!

[BritRose]

This is exactly what Im afraid of with my son... he currently goes to Head Start preK, and even his teacher there said that if he goes to Kindergarten without an IEP he is going to be sent to the principal's office every day.  We are working on a diagnosis, but he fell just under the line for the school's requirement for an IEP, so we are now having to go through the doctors.  I am actually planning, against my parents wishes, to homeschool him.  At least in Kansas, it is like pulling hen's teeth to get Head Start to allow a kid to repeat preK, and they wanted me to go ahead and send him on to Kindergarten, saying that even if he has to repeat that would be better than nothing... umm really?  So him getting sent to the principal's office every day is "better than nothing?"  He is already ostricised (sp?) by the other kids because of his behavior, and I work really hard to balance the teaching him to be responsible for his actions and not making him think that he is worthless and nobody likes him.  I work part time and it is fairly flexible, so that makes homeschooling a fairly realistic option for us,  but I dont know if I would be able to do it if I was working full time.  What kind of work are you looking for?  I know it doesnt pay very well, but sometimes daycares will allow a homeschooling parent to bring their kids to the daycare while they are working and then they do school work in the off times.  Also is the alternative school not a good option?  The one they have in our town seems good, but they only have highschool.  If they are offering it, it might be worth a try at least.  One thing I am wondering is why they dont have a para/ assistant in the room with him? 

[momwith2monkeys]

 they don't have assistants in the room because the county can't afford them i am actually brought that up plenty of time in meeting. alternative school is not an option i want to take if there is anyway to keep from it. all that is in it is bad kids and i don' t really think him being around them kids will help if anything it will make him worse. one of the kids in his class that he has issue with is another child that is just like him they fight all the time.

well he is doing better, he only got into trouble one time last week and it was the last 5 min of school on Friday but he is suspended for 2 days next week. but they said he is doing so much better that they don't want to have another modification meeting because they will want to do alternative placement and the vice principal said he want to hold off because he was so much better last week. we changed his meds during spring break and i think maybe just maybe this meds is doing the trick

Quoting BritRose:

This is exactly what Im afraid of with my son... he currently goes to Head Start preK, and even his teacher there said that if he goes to Kindergarten without an IEP he is going to be sent to the principal's office every day.  We are working on a diagnosis, but he fell just under the line for the school's requirement for an IEP, so we are now having to go through the doctors.  I am actually planning, against my parents wishes, to homeschool him.  At least in Kansas, it is like pulling hen's teeth to get Head Start to allow a kid to repeat preK, and they wanted me to go ahead and send him on to Kindergarten, saying that even if he has to repeat that would be better than nothing... umm really?  So him getting sent to the principal's office every day is "better than nothing?"  He is already ostricised (sp?) by the other kids because of his behavior, and I work really hard to balance the teaching him to be responsible for his actions and not making him think that he is worthless and nobody likes him.  I work part time and it is fairly flexible, so that makes homeschooling a fairly realistic option for us,  but I dont know if I would be able to do it if I was working full time.  What kind of work are you looking for?  I know it doesnt pay very well, but sometimes daycares will allow a homeschooling parent to bring their kids to the daycare while they are working and then they do school work in the off times.  Also is the alternative school not a good option?  The one they have in our town seems good, but they only have highschool.  If they are offering it, it might be worth a try at least.  One thing I am wondering is why they dont have a para/ assistant in the room with him? 

 

[Elise_Gurrola]

Omg i am going through the same thing. My son even flunked out of 3rd grade. I cant get him diagnosed because hubby dont believe that it is all his fault god i know how you feel. I am literally crying right now to find out i am not the only one. I am at my wits end. I wish i could help you sweety but i am in the same boat and its sinking fast.

[momslove321]

OMG. I am so glad I found this group. This is exactly what I am going through with my 5 yr son. He is in Kindergarten now and he started the school year great. I was even surprised and thought he out grew whatever it was he was going through but then reality hit and he had an outburst with his ODD/ separation anxiety. He kicked, screamed, bit, and even ran out of the school. They called us to pick him up and I knew that was the worst thing possible for him. The school sent him home with one referral and then the next day the same thing happen except they did not send him home. We are have a meeting and they want to transfer him another school :( I feel so bad for my baby because it seems like every school he goes this happens and he will never learn if every teacher/ school just gives up on him. I don't even know where to turn and get help. We can not afford taking him to a psychologist.

[momwith2monkeys]

 we moved during the summer and all was going good for the first month and then 2 weeks ago it started back again. he has gotten suspended off the bus already and has gotten 3 referals in one week and ISS . so we are back where we were last year and i don't want to do it again. i thought that the med change and the new school would make a difference but i guess i was wrong.

Quoting momslove321:

OMG. I am so glad I found this group. This is exactly what I am going through with my 5 yr son. He is in Kindergarten now and he started the school year great. I was even surprised and thought he out grew whatever it was he was going through but then reality hit and he had an outburst with his ODD/ separation anxiety. He kicked, screamed, bit, and even ran out of the school. They called us to pick him up and I knew that was the worst thing possible for him. The school sent him home with one referral and then the next day the same thing happen except they did not send him home. We are have a meeting and they want to transfer him another school :( I feel so bad for my baby because it seems like every school he goes this happens and he will never learn if every teacher/ school just gives up on him. I don't even know where to turn and get help. We can not afford taking him to a psychologist.

 

[cantfindpeace]

I so totally sympathize with you all. My 10 yr old som is diagnosed ADHD, ODD, Mood disorder - NOS, and is currently being evaluated for Aspergers. We've done genetic testing because his therapist feels there's something pathological or neurological going on with. He's been suspended numerous tomes and is actually on probation with the police dept for his actions at school. All these diagnoses, all these meds, and still my kid is totally out of control. He does exactly what he wants, when he wants and screw you if you don't like it. No amount of punishment or reward makes any difference to him. Some days I really want to put him in a behavioral center, but my husband isn't there yet, so I suffer on. Some days I want to take my 3 yr old and get as far away from here as possible. So believe me when I say I feel your pain. Maybe the genetic testing will show something helpful. If it does, I will post it here. I know that any new information or ideas give us hope we've sometimes lost completely. Hang in there, and may God grant you peace in times of utter chaos.

[emarin77]

I think an alternative school would be best for now.

 

[momwith2monkeys]

 i wrote this post in April. He is doing so much better now, we still have a few issues but not anything bad now.

Quoting emarin77:

I think an alternative school would be best for now.

 

 

[ljw]

We went through a similar situation with our son when he was in elementary school. He was diagnosed with PDD NOS, Aspergers, High Functioning Autism and was always in trouble for one reason or another whether it was his fault or not. By third grade we had had enough. We took him out of the public school system and placed him in a private school at a local church that was using a self paced program. This made all the difference in the world. There were only 30 kids in the school, K- 12. He did great. By 7th grade, we decided to place him back into public school mainly for more socialization. And because in middle school there is very little unstructured time and he had grown more mature. 7th grade was rough. However he learned a lot and this year (8th grade), we have not had any problems at all. At least not yet. We are very proud of him and how far he has come.