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Parenting a child with ODD

Posted by on Sep. 26, 2012 at 9:04 PM
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Hello!  I have a youngling that I think is showing signs of ODD.  His doctor writes me off saying it's just because he's three, but she doesn't live with him (and she was trying to convince me that he isn't showing signs of OCD before I corrected her, which just tells me that she isn't well schooled in child psychology lol).  He's been like this since he was one... it hasn't gotten better or worse, it's just the same (but now with words lol).  He has all the classic signs of it from what I can gather from doing online research about it.  Even our families, who see him maybe twice a year, think there is something more going on than just terrible threes, and I know it isn't a parenting fail because our older child acts "normal" for his age and always has.  I hate labeling my kids, but if there is an issue I prefer to address it BEFORE it progresses to a point where extreme measures are needed.

So my question is this... does anyone have any resources (like books or websites) that can help me learn how to parent a child that has qualities of ODD?  I am having a hell of a time trying to find solutions that are effective on my own, and since the pedi. wrote me off when I brought this up I feel sort of like a failure as a parent to this child.  Even if he doesn't have it, I imagine that parenting techniques recommended for ODD kiddos might be useful when trying to address some of his behaviors, so PLEASE point me in the direction of parenting books or materials specific for ODD if there are any!  Thank you in advance!

by on Sep. 26, 2012 at 9:04 PM
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Replies (1-3):
Rosehawk
by on Sep. 28, 2012 at 3:54 PM

I brought my research on ODD to my Family Doctor. We've been seen by her since my almost 9 year old was 6 months old. She looked at the information I had printed off of Mayoclinic.com about ODD, told me that the symptoms were nearly identical to ADD, but treatments were vastly different. Then she gave me a referral to a therapist. I had a hard time finding one that would see my son. Most said they didn't treat kids that young.

I would start by printing off your own research and brining it with you to the next appointment. If she still blows you off, find a new doctor. I would also consider seeing if you can get him seen by a therapist of some kind. Maybe call your insurance company and see what they can do to help you?

trebelcleff
by on Sep. 28, 2012 at 4:08 PM

Thanks!  I'll definitely do that.  I am fairly certain it's ODD and not ADD because redirection and consequences have no effect on him, even when the action he is performing (most recently grabbing for a knife on the counter) is a danger to himself or others... in the knife situation, he continued trying to grab it, even out of my hand as I moved it, then threw a huge fit (which is not uncommon for him) because I placed it somewhere he couldn't reach it... the fit lasted for almost an hour.  He does not respond at all to positive rewards either, and when given a consequence he actively defies it (like if I say he can't leave his room because he needs some time alone he will actually tell me he is going to leave and then tries to repeatedly).  I'm at my wits end trying to parent this child, who I KNOW can act better than this when he chooses.  I already see a therapist myself so I will ask her about possibly having him seen in their practice... I love his pedi in every other way, but I'm miffed that she didn't even stop to consider the possibility or listen to me.  Do you have anything that might show that ODD can actually occur in very young children?  He has been this way since he was one and I'm exhausted.  

Quoting Rosehawk:


I brought my research on ODD to my Family Doctor. We've been seen by her since my almost 9 year old was 6 months old. She looked at the information I had printed off of Mayoclinic.com about ODD, told me that the symptoms were nearly identical to ADD, but treatments were vastly different. Then she gave me a referral to a therapist. I had a hard time finding one that would see my son. Most said they didn't treat kids that young.

I would start by printing off your own research and brining it with you to the next appointment. If she still blows you off, find a new doctor. I would also consider seeing if you can get him seen by a therapist of some kind. Maybe call your insurance company and see what they can do to help you?


Rosehawk
by on Sep. 28, 2012 at 7:11 PM

I don't, I'm sorry. I'm still REALLY new to this. My son just got his diagnosis 2 weeks ago. He'll be 9 in another two weeks, roughly.

I completely get being at the end of your rope though. I've been that way for quite a while myself. My son is an amazing young man with a LOT of potential. What was killing me was that he'd throw mountain sized tantrums over molehill sized problems. I'm talking worse than a 2 year old. He'd also get mad if his friends wouldn't play their part of his made-up game HIS way. Ugh! the tantrums and the whining, and the bossiness, and the everything!

If you really like the pedi, and it sounds like you do, insist (I mean demand and do not leave until you are heard) that the doctor consider this in your son. Yes, s/he has the medical degree, but YOU are his Mom. You spend hours with him daily. The pedi spends minutes with him every now and then......

Quoting trebelcleff:

Thanks!  I'll definitely do that.  I am fairly certain it's ODD and not ADD because redirection and consequences have no effect on him, even when the action he is performing (most recently grabbing for a knife on the counter) is a danger to himself or others... in the knife situation, he continued trying to grab it, even out of my hand as I moved it, then threw a huge fit (which is not uncommon for him) because I placed it somewhere he couldn't reach it... the fit lasted for almost an hour.  He does not respond at all to positive rewards either, and when given a consequence he actively defies it (like if I say he can't leave his room because he needs some time alone he will actually tell me he is going to leave and then tries to repeatedly).  I'm at my wits end trying to parent this child, who I KNOW can act better than this when he chooses.  I already see a therapist myself so I will ask her about possibly having him seen in their practice... I love his pedi in every other way, but I'm miffed that she didn't even stop to consider the possibility or listen to me.  Do you have anything that might show that ODD can actually occur in very young children?  He has been this way since he was one and I'm exhausted.  

Quoting Rosehawk:


I brought my research on ODD to my Family Doctor. We've been seen by her since my almost 9 year old was 6 months old. She looked at the information I had printed off of Mayoclinic.com about ODD, told me that the symptoms were nearly identical to ADD, but treatments were vastly different. Then she gave me a referral to a therapist. I had a hard time finding one that would see my son. Most said they didn't treat kids that young.

I would start by printing off your own research and brining it with you to the next appointment. If she still blows you off, find a new doctor. I would also consider seeing if you can get him seen by a therapist of some kind. Maybe call your insurance company and see what they can do to help you?



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