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We're a week and a half in and.........

Posted by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 11:15 AM
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I'm already getting a message from my son's teacher that she's concerned about his academic and social progress in school.  Yesterday he refused to do his independent reading, among other things (but she didn't elaborate on that part), and she wants to meet with us next week.  I'm seriously afraid that she's going to bring up meds, which will send my hubs off the deep end.  That one subject, putting my son on meds to help him concentrate, almost brought our marriage to an end.  He may not have seen it that way but I did.  Our fights over it were HUGE and left me feeling like I'd been hit with a machete.  I don't want to go down that path again but I'm almost afraid I'll have to. 

I am looking into the local CHADD chapter to see if there is a support group for us here in town.  Maybe I can get hubs involved in that and then he might be able to understand that our son's story isn't all that different from other parent's stories. 

by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 11:15 AM
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Replies (1-3):
hero71
by Member on Aug. 29, 2009 at 10:31 AM

When my oldest son was diagnosed we were dead set against meds, of course he was only four.  We tried other methods for a while, but in the summer between K and first grade, we just new it was time.  Well, atleast I was.  My husband was still hesitant.  He had given in a little and started to talk about the idea of meds, but was still set agianst them.  Finally, after speaking with the doctor and knowing what I know (since I work in education field and am going to school to get my teaching degree) I had to put my foot down and say we were going to try them.  We made a deal to try them and see whast happened.  If we started the meds and didn't notice a difference or they didn't work right, then we could take him off with no harm done.  We were lucky and scored with our first med that we tried.  And he is now 10 & been on meds ever since.  Now with our youngest son, there was no debate at all, we knew it was time for meds, absolutely none of the other methods that we were trying were working for him.  But he has only been diagnosed since November and we have tried three different meds before we found the one that works best for him.  So, I would go to the meeting and warn your husband that the teacher may suggest meds, but that he doesn't need to getd upset.  Just calmly say that your not comfortable with meds yet and ask if she has ideas on other behavior methods for your son.  Many newer teachers haven't dealt with kids with ADHD & don't know how to deal with them besides meds. Also you might want to pre warn the teacher that your husband feels very strongly against using meds at this time.  Hopefully, that will set the stage for a productive meeting to help your son!  Good luck to you!

likabxofchoc
by New Member on Sep. 1, 2009 at 2:53 PM

Hi Wolffies,

I just got done meeting with my daughter's teacher too.  I know exactly how you are feeling right now.  My daughter was diagnose with ADHD in 1st grade and we went back and forth on whether to use meds. or not.  Although I nearly had a breakdown over it, my husband and I finally decided to go for it.  He is a lot more hesitant than I am. 

I'm the one that sits down most of the time to do homework with her so I can see what the teachers mean. 

The medication has horrible side effects on her body.  She does not sleep, or eat.  She also gets really moody.  We have switched medications 4 times to make sure she suffers the least side effects.  At nearly nine years old she weighed 42 lbs.  She's normal height but just too skinny.

Since her problems are only with school work, we take her off the medication during the summer.  This summer she gained 10 pounds and looks great and feels great. 

At the beginning of the school year we get our hopes up super high and send her to school without starting her on the meds again.

So far not good!!! I already met with the teacher and they see the same things your son's teacher sees.  It is just so depressing and so hard to make a decision on whether to put her back on or not.   Not only do I have to decide, but when I do decide I'll have to convince my husband on why I think she should go on it.  We love her soooooo much and we want the best for her.  the question is "what is the best for her?"

I think maybe you should let your hubby sit down with your son and do homework with him.  That way he'll see that maybe he does need a little extra help.  Just make sure that he has patience.

Good Luck!  I'm sorry I can't be of any more help.  I definitely feel your frustration though.

klahuis
by New Member on Mar. 6, 2010 at 1:40 PM

We had the same talk a few weeks ago with our daughters teacher.  We have been dealing with it for 3 years and have gone through everything but meds.  It was time.  She is in 1st grade also.  She was put on the meds almost 2 weeks ago and their is a HUGE difference.  We have her on the lowest dose of adderral and she is doing so good at school.  You can tell it is wearing off when she comes home but her teacher is AMAZED!  She loves it.  We are having problems with her eating and going to sleep at night too. We go back to the doctor next week for him to see how she is doing.

My husband was also upset about meds but I am the one who does it all with her and was going to go crazy.  She has the hyperactivity and she has been getting more hyper as this year went on.  To see her on meds now is great for us too.

I say get the doctor to talk to him.  Just maybe have a trial run with the meds.  See what the hubby thinks.  Good Luck!

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