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confusing?

Posted by on Aug. 7, 2007 at 3:56 AM
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Entered a relationship with woman who has a 2 and a 4 year old child.  The woman I am in the relationship just recently came out.  And we have concerns about how well the 4 year old is going to understand and take this.  She is unsure of me to begin with because she is of the age where jealousy begins and hate that anyone would take away any time from her with her mommy.  We a unsure about how to deal with this.  The 2 year old is not a concern he really adores me and is young enough he will have the chance to grow up with it.  Anyway one go any advice for me?
by on Aug. 7, 2007 at 3:56 AM
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Replies (1-4):
tiffmash
by on Aug. 9, 2007 at 10:40 PM
take it very slowly.. and be honest upfront.  it's about the only advice I can offer.  i just think if you rush and lie.. it'll only make matters worse in the long run for the child and everyone else involved.

good luck
pluma69
by New Member on Sep. 5, 2007 at 3:01 PM
Well when you finally do talk about it you shouldn't make it seem like its a big deal. You just want to kinda talk about it and let them ask questions
JennyIsRad
by New Member on Sep. 6, 2007 at 11:09 AM

Spend time really creating a strong a trustworthy relationship with the 4 year old.  Spend time with her getting to know her.  Do things that SHE likes.  Have an art day or go make pottery.  Try attending a museum or zoo. 

Fortunately, four year olds can be easily won over by lots of affection and praise.  She will feel like you are stepping on her toes by spending time with her mom, and you will have to be very cautious. 

It will take a lot of time and patience.  In the long run, being there for her will win her over.

lotusflower1953
by on Nov. 17, 2007 at 7:15 PM
I hate to be the voice of doom and gloom here,but frankly this does not sound like a relationship that can be long term. This woman is just coming out,and that in it's self takes time. She needs time to deal with her new sexual identity,and to find her way around the lesbian community,get to know people,hang out,do activities.I think you jumped in too fast. Why not back it up ? Just be friends,if you must, then  date, but keep it open so you both can see other people. I feel children need to be protected,and I would not push you being apart of the children's life, at this point. If she just recently came out,then that means I assume, she just recently met you. So,neither of you know enough about each other to know if you are compatible enough for the long haul. I do not believe in having kids getting attached,and then a breakup occurs. That is not good for their emotional well being. Okay, I am noticing your post is old. Just wondering a little over three months since your post,are you both still together ?
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