i just want to be done with it..

[ProudMomma0507]

i went to visit my mother in prison.. it's not the first time but i can't handle it anymore. i've not had a good relationship with her and today she walked in and the first thing out of her mouth was "what are you doing here, where's your sister" that killed me. here i am 1 1/2 hours away from home, it's pouring rain and you care more for my sister who'se not here..

i'm so angry with my mother, i have been for so long and i have yet to let it out. i'm thinking of taking up swimming again. i need something to let it out. my husband is such an asshole to me after i go up there. like today there were flood warnings in berkshire county where the prison in and the road had 6inches of water when i got there and 45minutes later 16" of water. my adopted mothers car got stuck so i helped push it out, and while doin git i slipped and busted my knee.. i was soaked and covered in mudd. i dropped my cell which is currently drying out.. and i called my hubs to see if he could get intouch with his parents to bring my kids home.. and he was so mean to me.. basically told me "i always find an excuse not ot have them home after i go up there.. and that i'm a stupid bitch, and i'm immature and that he can't always drop everything becuase i can't handle life." i never once said i didn't wnat my kids home although they were supposta stay the night regardless.. and how do you handle seeing your mother in prison. i'm one of those people who don't show emotions and i keep it all in.. and yes maybe i'd rather my kids not be here in case i do break down or whatever. but that's not what i said.

i just want to be done with all this. my mothers next court date is june 5 and i'm tired of her trying to get my other sister into this shit and making her feel bad and trying to take it all on herself. like my mom wants her to sign and cash her ( my mothers ) ssdi checks.. which right on it says.. "if forged could lead to 10,000 in fine and 10 years in prison" my mother is trying to get her to help her commit another crime while sitting in jail.. i'm like ar eyou serious.

i can't handle it. anyone have any suggestions ?

[momluvsthr]

Dear Pmom,
not their for me. He recently got out of a dual-Thanks for being so honest! I grew up with an alcoholic father but did not have to put up with the justice system with him! Just doing that requires every bit of patience I have. I can relate to trying to juggle the effects of family problems. Sometimes I dont know if I'm coming or going and then when I'm finally beat down and so need my partner for some support-a smile, hug, its okay- he's just not their fopr me. He has just been released from a dual-diagnosis center, but I have been through the mil with him. I feel very alone and sad. What helps, venting like this, I do force myself to go to aa/alanon meeting, reading their literature, and never ending prayers for anyone to help me through. I heard something the other day that u may use- If God brought u to it-he'll get you through it. I Love it It doesn't make me feel so alone with everything. Keep up the great work Kim