Growing up with an abusive Drug Addict...My story...

[tdoering]

 

Ok, this is kinda long so here it goes, I will start out by saying, my name is Terra I am 25 yr. old. I lived with my drug addicted dad for 18 yrs. and trust me it don't end there...

As far back as I can remember my family grew up really poor in a very small town in Arkansas, We did have things like most people did, My dad was always gone but we never knew where because my mom would never say. When he was home he would always beat my mom and trash the house and tell us to go to our rooms or we would get it. I remember laying in my sisters bed at night because I didn't want to sleep alone fearing he would stick to his promise. Unfortunately, my brother and sister were only 1/2 so they always had the joy and safety of going back home to thier moms on Sunday nights while I stayed there. When I was a little bit bigger I finally realized what really was going on, he was a drug addict, all those "hunting/fishing trips" were actually times in jail or the phych ward, or rehab center! What do you do though my mom would not leave everytime they got into it and he started beating on her, if she tried to get away or if she threatened to leave he would threaten to kill her mom, dad, and that she would never see me again cause he would take me far far away, also stating that no matter where she ever went she could never hide from him he would find her wherever she went. She was scared just like every other abused woman. Everyone says well there are woman's shelters that will hide them, did you ever notice or realize that most women that are killed are at a woman's shelter or they are coming or going to or from court. So it almost seems like what is the use. I remember there were a few fights that all I could do is run outside and sit on the ground and wait for it to be over. One time he shoved a bottle of pill down her throat while I was right there after he already broke all the glasses in the cabinet all over the kitchen floor then after he shoved them down her throat he shoved her face in the glass telling her to clean up the mess that she made him do! He always told me that if I said anything that he would kill me too. So of course I didn't! This goes on and on and on!!! Oh yea did I mention the fact that I found out he wasn't my real dad when I was 14 cause they were in another fight and he told me that my mom was such a good for nothing dirty whore that he wasn't even my real dad! OMG! At 18 I moved out that was it, I felt sorry for leaving my mom but what was I supposed to do?! He kept on about his ways but kinda straightened up a little instead of several times a week it was only happening about 1-2 times every week to 2 weeks. I couldn't stand to know though that my mom couldn't have anything to do with my son just because of him and really all the other times when he wasn't just really really messed up he was cool. He would play with my son and be just sooo grandpaish.... All until January 12, 2007! I recieved a call at work at about 1:30pm and it was my dad telling me that they had had enough and that they were getting a divorce, then my mom gets on the phone and I tell her Thank god! it is about time I am sooo sick of all this stuff I can't put up with it and my son will never know! He never knew about anything and that is how we are going to keep it!!! That afternoon when I got home I went outside to call my mom and she couldn't leave the room with the phone that is when I knew it was a "bad one" So I just asked her questions like did he beat you bad? are you bleeding? do you need me to call the police? All she would say is yes or no! So I called the police and Left I dropped my son off at my in-laws house and headed over, as I was pulling down the road I seen the policemen driving down the road assuming that they did thier job I ran up to the house to hear it... glass breaking, walls pounding, screaming. I ran inside he had a gun in her mouth, I jumped in not thinking about me and told him that is it, he was not going to hurt her anymore! I grabbed the phone and called 911 again and told them the policemen just left my moms house where she was being beaten and they didn't take him now he's doing it even more. Well guess what nothing happened!!! Go figure!!!  So I took my mom to the only police station open at that time, it is an office inside of the WalMart Supercenter. We told the police officer what had happened and how the policemen that arrived at the house didn't seperate the two to ask them individually what happened or what was going on! An abusee will NOT speak in front of a Abuser! She said let me show you all the stuff, that is one thing he was smart enough never to hit her in the face he would do it all over her body and her head under her hair! He declined, obviously he was not going to help, so we left and went to my mother in laws just to kinda sit and chill for a minute. My husband works nights so he wasn't home for all of this. Then me and my mom drove toward my house and there he was at the end of my road! I floored it I knew what would happen! He chased me going 70 down a country road and then I got onto a hwy. I was going 85 he rammed my car, At the dangerous intersection I had to slow down cause you can't see around the corner at that stop sign he pulled out in front of us blocking us off! I got out and reached into the back seat I hit reverse and forward and floored it straight through the ditch! The chase was back on I had my flashers on and was honking this is a quiet dark hwy at night, he kept pulling up next to the car, trying to run us into oncoming traffic which I had to go on the other side of the road once to avoid a big rig! He was laughing the whole time he thought it was hilarious! The closest thing to town was another WalMart in Sheridan, AR I pulled up to the front doors car still running and jumped out he pulled up next to us we ran inside he jumped in my car and stole my mom's purse and yelled I will catch you bitch! You can't hide! Of couse a bystander called 911 in Sheridan he peeled out and was gone the police showed up and took our stories and then my husband finally got ahold of me and took off early and followed us to White Hall a town close by. We stayed in a Motel that night the following day my husband and father in law went to our house to get us some clothes since he didn't know where my in laws lived we would stay there a couple of days til they find him! Our front door was broke in! My husbands glass guncabinet was shattered all of his guns and ammo were missing, there was a blanket laying next to the guncabinet it was the one my mom kept in her car for when the dog went with her somewhere! That meant it was him, So I guess that is what he was reaching for in the back seat! When they finally found him the warrant had not been issued this was 4 days later! My mother was in a woman's shelter in Sheridan. We had a court date for a protective order, We got it, he was there and everything but they couldn't get him just yet they were waiting until the next day when the warrant would be clear! The next day came he was gone! Nothing has been heard of it since then! until yesterday I recieved a call from the Grant County Procecuting Attorneys office and they said he wanted a plea of probation and anger management classes of course I said hell no, he never listened to pleas for him to quit beating or chasing or anything else! He deserves to be locked up she said ok he will have to go to trial then! I said good and hung up I was in shock! I am going to call them back tomorrow to find out more details but my point in this story is that most policemen don't care about domestic violence. This is just a luck story due to I let him get the gun out of the back seat fast enough and me showing up when I did.

 As of right now she is one of the lucky ones even though now that addict is pissed at me and wants me too. I have a 5 yr. old precious boy who don't know about anything going on, except that that asshole is sick and that Chance is never ever ever to talk to him if he ever was to show up somewhere he is. He is just supposed to scream and run! We have since put a surviellance camera at our house and panic buttons! I know him and I know he is crazy the state knows he is crazy he has a long history of it! BTW he does crack, marijuana, meth, and any kind of pill he can find! Like that night that was not even a person there was a crazed glazed look in his bulging eyes. I will never forget it and I relive it everyday I hear my motion detector go off or I drive to walmart or even sleep I have a dream about it waking up sweating and shaking at least 1-2 times a week! I can't help but look in my rear view at anyone following too close. I made sure that I also bought a cell phone after that happened there are so many scenarios that replay in your mind anytime the slightest thing sets off a memory! You always ask what if I did this or what if this would have happened... all kinds of stuff.  I am not asking for sorrys or anything else I am getting my story out there to say me and my mom are 2 of the "lucky ones" if that is what you want to call it yea we are not dead, we just will forever look over our shoulders in fear that he will be there, until the day he is locked up I will never be at ease. And really the day I will be totally at peace is the day I see him in a casket!!! If you are in a situation like this or know someone that is even slightly in this situation! Get out! Get out NOW! Don't listen to the threats pursue JUSTICE!!! It is out there somewhere you just have to keep fighting, don't give up! Don't let him just keep on, it will get worse, they all say they will change and that they didn't mean to do that and they are sorry and they love you and blah blah blah it is bullsh** misery loves company! Don't be the next "Unlucky ones"

Thank you for reading my extremely long long long story! Once there are updates on trial issues and stuff I will let yall know! Terra