"Mom"

[steviems]

when i was six, my mom and dad finalized the divorce and she moved to texas. well, instead of taking the offer at a good company for a good job, she met a man in a beer booth, at a fair thing and that's when I remeber she became a drunk.
 by the time second grade was almost over, the teacher pulled three kids out of class, and told us we were going to have to do second grade again, and told us the various reasons.  My reason was becasue i was never at school, missed too many days. Well, they out the reaosn why I missed all those was because my mom was too drunk to wake up in the morning. I remember she would stay up all night, listeing to MTV, having imaginary conversations/arguments with people who werent there, would come into my room and yell "stop doing that" and wake me up (when I fell asleep anyway).
 By the middle of third grade, I finally told my grandma that mom hadnt been home all week, 9when she came to pick me up on a friday) and that i had to break into my house on monday. My mom was in jail, and couldnt post bail, I didnt know ym grandmas number, and i was too embarressed to tell any one.
 I remeber once I went to play outside, and the mother across the street asked me if my mom was playing music last nght real loud. I told her no, it couldnt be my mom, she was asleep. that was the night before the people came to repossess her car. That was fun.
  Since then it's gotten worse. she hung out for ten years with some dude in kansas,  then moved in with her mom when she left his drunk ass.  Now my grandma, (who keeps 3,000 or so in bank for shoppig sprees..shes good with the $$) can barely make it paycheck to paycheck because of lawyers fees, bail bonds, court fees and all the other etc. crap.
 My son was born in NC, where my husband was stationed, and she couldnt come out to be with me (and neither could anyone else, except for my husbands mom, thank god) becuase she was charged with a dui the nioght before she was supposed to get on the plane. My grandma was going to send her out to CA (where we are now stationed) for my sons first birthday ( a few days ago) but three weeks ago I called her to tell her some stuff about some stuff and i asked her if was drunk. well, she lied to me. Which has pissed me off more than enything else. I havent talked to her since. i wouldnt have picked her up from the airport anyway, since she would have been drunk.

 its almost like the drunk one was never there, like that parent never existed. the best mom ive ever had was my MIL. My step mom was an attention needing father relationship killer. refused to let me shave my legs until I was 16. (come the hell on) my mil is the BEST MIL,ever.
 when I ever talk to my dad about my mom, all he says is "it will be ok" and I finally told him, Dad, thats something you should have told me, I dont know, maybe 15 years ago, becasue then at least I would have known you gave a shit" he didnt like that too much. 

god, I think I hate all parents. There is of course, all the stuff iin between, that you forget about or push away,  you just feel abandoned and cheated.
 
 the only reason Im somewhat glad about this is that it taught what NOT to be as a mom.

[amypoe]

i am sorry that you went through that but you have someone totalk to if you need to. i am here for you. my mom was a drug addict and alcoholic