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This just became my situation..

Posted by on Jul. 25, 2007 at 5:44 PM
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Only a few months ago, my step father passed away, widowing my mother who is only 65 (he was almost 90).  In most cases this wouldn't cause changes, but my mother has aphasia and a beginning phase of dementia, so cannot safely live on her own.  None of my friends in real life has a similar situation, so I thought I would check here on CafeMom to see if other moms did.  I was surprised to find a number that did, but only after LOTS of searching.  Maybe that's why I found so many groups with only a few members each - no one knew what phrase to search for, or they got tired of searching and started a group.  Who knows?  Anyhow, as a way of introducing myself, and helping to network all of the moms in these groups (I checked and there are no repeats.. I am the only one who belongs to all of them), here is a list of the groups, other than yours, that have moms who are caring for children as well as their parents in some fashion (this may not be all of them, but it's the ones I know of):  Children becoming ur parents parents; In between a rock and a hard place; Sandwich parenting; Sandwich generation moms; Raising mom.  I will do this same thing in the other groups and point some this way so hopefully more of us in this situation can connect.
Linda
by on Jul. 25, 2007 at 5:44 PM
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waves
by on Aug. 5, 2007 at 4:36 PM
I did not realize there were other groups. This might help explain why this one is so inactive. Thanks for the list. Some day when I have a time out from all the caregiving, I plan to check out the other groups too. BTW, can you share what aphasia is? My dad has early dementia as well. The neurologist says he has symptoms of Alzheimers but do to many head injuries and his Parkinson's, she thinks it's not Alz. Still, he is taking meds for it.
jakenzacksmom
by on Aug. 27, 2007 at 10:02 PM
I know when I started this group, I searched first, but couldn't find anything.  I was surprised that there were so few who joined my group as I know this is a big issue for a lot of moms out there these days.  I would like this group to be more active, but I guess since there are actually more groups out there like it, it will be difficult.  I hope that we can still connect here.
swtbbysmom
by New Member on Mar. 22, 2008 at 6:22 PM
I wonder where I was this day when every body was logging in and joining.  I sure did miss a few conversations.  I apologize.  My name is Stephanie and my mother lives with me and my 4 kids.  Well one of them is in college so she comes home only on the weekends.
  Anyways I apologizee for being late to the discussion.
Kyrthanna
by on Jul. 21, 2008 at 4:10 PM

Oh, my, I see in all the busy-ness I forgot to check some of these boards for replies.  I'm too late to answer the question posed by "Waves" as she is no longer a CafeMom member, but I will post this anyhow.  She asked what aphasia is.  On the Nat'l Aphasia site they define it as: An acquired communication disorder that impair's a person's ability to process language, but does not affect intelligence.  It impairs the ability to speak and understand others, and most people with aphasia experience difficulty reading and writing.  If you'd like more information on it their website is http://www.aphasia.org .

In my mother's case, it didn't actually develop directly after her anheurism, but rather only about 10 years ago, after some particularly mentally and emotionally stressing things happened to her during the course of a few months.  We're not sure if she had a mini stroke then in the same area where the scarring from the anheurism is, or if it was just brought on by the breakdown she had, but afterwards she had lots of trouble speaking in an understandable fashion.  Most of what she would say and even write would be what we call "catch phrases"  - a phrase, or lines from a familiar hymn- whatever her mind focused on and spit out because she couldn't find the words to express herself.  She has recovered greatly and can often now carry on almost entire conversations without any catchphrases, but on a bad day sometimes that's the ONLY thing that comes out.

I hope this helps.

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