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Keeping children 'entertained' at a wedding...ugh

Posted by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 2:02 PM
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I am planning on marrying a very nearly perfect man in October.  The only flaw he has is that he and his family tend to cater to his 2 kids a little too much.  I think most of it is because they feel they have to compensate for BM abandoning them, but it's really getting on my nerves.  The kids are 9 & 13 and very hyper (one is ADHD and the other may be ADD).  For the most part I get along well with the children but they tend to be wild and out of control at times. ANYWAY, this is not about their behavior necessarily, but how everyone deals with it. 

Today, DF says to me, 'we have to decide what we're going to do with the kids if they get bored at the wedding'.  WTF?  They are 9 & 13, not 2 & 3.   He actually suggested asking some of our family members to be on standby to take them someplace (away from the wedding) to keep them entertained.  Maybe I'm just ignorant, but when I was a kid and bored at family events, I had to find a quiet way to entertain myself.  In an age of handheld games and other electronic devices you mean to tell me we still have to worry about this?  I suggested he tell the kids to bring their PSP with some movies and their game systems just in case.  Why should our guests have to worry about entertaining our kids.  The other alternative is to hire a babysitter, but for a 13 yr old?  Come on.

Am I being unreasonable or insensitive to the childrens needs?  Maybe I was stupid to believe the kids might actually have a good time being involved in the wedding (the 9yo girl is a flower girl and the 13 yo boy is standing up with his Dad), then there will be all of their family (a couple of older cousins), dancing, food, etc.  I know it's not Disneyland, but kids should be able to entertain themselves at this age, don't you think?  Any thoughts/ideas? 

by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 2:02 PM
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j45505
by on Apr. 5, 2011 at 10:13 AM

 I don't think for their ages that you are asking to much. Even with the ADD and ADHD. (Depending on how severe?) Maybe ask each one of them if they would like to invite 1 friend each. Then you make sure the friend is one of a mature disposition. You are right this event is a one time thing and will show maturity, respect and yes even teamwork for them to act accordingly. It would be selfish for them to act out during such an occasion. However, maybe just for your own selfish desires it would be best to have them taken off site after a while anyhow, Then you and dad can relax and let your hair down a bit more knowing the kids are off site relieving you of duties. I'm sure an older grandmother, aunt, cousin etc. would like the excuse of keeping the kids to send them home early. Last but not least if there will be other kids on site look into something like Mobile Mommies. They provide site childcare for weddings, parties, events etc. That is providing your location has the extra room? You allow a room for the kids to play in,  a mobile mommy or two keeps an eye on them in that room. Each parent is advised of the service and pays their own fees. Kids bring their own toys snacks, movies, etc. into the room for entertainment.

bndand8707
by on Apr. 6, 2011 at 2:50 PM

No, you are not being unreasonable at all! They are old enough to entertain themselves and with today's technology, like you already said, then they should be fine. 

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